<p>No, I understood, and thank you! It makes a lot of sense that the challenge of the courseload would be the essential thing, as long as the basic requirements are satisfied. And she loves to be challenged as long as the challenge isn’t literally impossible.</p>
<p>Hey, B+ folks - I don’t want anyone to think the wrong thing because my D is loading with APs. I’m proud of the choices she makes, so don’t get me wrong. But we have a very basic HS in a small town, and APs are pretty much the only classes that aren’t a complete waste of time. Virtually no subjects have honors level or any kind of differentiated curriculum; most regular classes barely even cover the subject (kids sit around talking about cars and clothes during English classes, for example). I know there’s been a lot of discussion in defining this thread, about whether a B+ GPA would be weighted, unweighted, whatever. Most of my D’s Bs (and her one C) were in classes that would be weighted, true. But she has a bunch more that wouldn’t be, that she got just because she can’t, or won’t, do that last bit to bump her our of the 80s. She’s managed to keep a 3.5, lower if they remove the arts classes. </p>
<p>I’m not trying to prove she’s not a high achiever - honestly, my H and I keep trying to remind her that her record is by any normal standards high achievement. I’ve just been around CC long enough to know that someone might be wondering if we’re inappropriately crashing this thread. Depending on how they’re weighted, and without the arts grades, her academics are still solidly a B+, if perhaps on the high end.</p>
<p>Emmy, you are very welcome here. I must admit though, my son is NOT the high end 3.5 :)…frustrating to say the least when he is NM commended scholar PSATs as a sophomore, grade accelerated, two-year advanced math (BC calc as a junior), highest score on national spanish language exam. But you know, getting a few more hours in on the XBOX is WAY more fun…and “Mom, gosh, most parents would be HAPPY with my grades…and I don’t smoke, drink or do drugs like MOST of the kids around here.”</p>
<p>When his psychologist described him as a “delightful, low stress kid”, I decided…she’s absolutely right. It’s Vanderbilt’s loss. :)</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I am a lawyer. We lawyers were, for the most part, the straight A, perfectionist students. We have LOTS of clients who were more like your son, who are very successful in business and make a boatload more money than we do.</p>
<p>missypie…lol…you and my husband…the doctor…stressed out, burned out, and wondering, “What exactly did I do WRONG!!”</p>
<p>It’s been interesting for us, too, but in a different way. It’s my D who tears her har out, sees herself as the “one” person in the family who’s a failure because she’s not uber-smart, which is completely wrong. First of all, she’s very smart. I keep reminding her that neither my H nor I had straight As in HS, either. What is different is that, unlike deb’s son, she’s not a great tester, which means she can’t just knock off an A on demand and doesn’t have great scores or any awards. The rest of us were snappier that way, had high scores, awards, etc. And my H and I both went to UChicago, and he’s a doctor, etc., etc. But WE don’t care, fundamentally. Sure, we get touchy when we know she could have studied more or worked harder (or more efficiently!!!), but we don’t really mind about the results - she’s wonderful. </p>
<p>Our D1 had a 4.0/32 ACT, a much more efficient, high-memory kid, and it did open a lot of doors for her, no doubt about that. But they aren’t the only doors in the world! I do wish our D2 wouldn’t beat herself up so much - and there are teachers at our HS who haven’t helped the situation. What she’s learning is a much more intricate pattern of effort and reward, and being true to herself. I think the comparing to other people, or to a standard, can be something of a motivator, but so often, and definitely in her case, is just a huge discouragement. Finally, finally she’s working out a mature response to how she does, how others do, how people are judged. I think she’ll start college with a much better approach. Also, if she applies smartly (i.e. wants to go everywhere she applies and gives herself a lot of options) just getting into college will be a huge affirmation for her. If I hold onto any dream, it’s of her arriving at school that first fall, maybe a little scared, but mostly excited and proud of herself. </p>
<p>Fortunately and unfortunately, for her this will mean getting away to school, since EVERYONE in WI goes to the (admittedly very high quality) state schools, and she really, really wants to move on to a new life. Luckily for her we can afford to send her somewhere else, and we can take these trips to explore them. My family’s in Boston, so the East-Midwest corridor is very familiar to all of us.</p>
<p>I love hearing everyone’s stories and sharing with you. Keep telling us the news, senior families!</p>
<p>Oy, all you theater kids competing for my DD’s spot! It’s going to be a long spring for us, but we have a couple of non-audition admits that she likes.</p>
<p>As to math, DD only had 3 years and has received academic scholarships at all the schools she’s been accepted to (granted, Harvard is not on the list). Your elite LACs will probably want to see four years of math, though.</p>
<p>One upside to dropping math senior year was that it allowed her to take a third AP and she’s finding she really likes it. That teacher is also the one who wrote her letter (the one that made this old soldier cry).</p>
<p>Yay, MSUDad! Thanks for the update!</p>
<p>Ours are all juniors, so you have no competition to worry about! Your D can tell us next year what she loves about the program she’s in.</p>
<p>Thanks for the affirmation about allowing one subject a bye senior year; it sounds like my D’s idea to take AP Psych (which she’s interested in) instead of another science (which she’s NOT) could have the same happy ending as your D’s.</p>
<p>Emmy, having a kid who totally derailed trying to meet everyone else’s goals can really really change your perspective. My 4.2 gpa NM daughter, who was on scholarship, almost killed herself with an ED and is finally figuring out…she’s NOT her mom, she’s NOT her dad. She’s her. And she’s awesome. She’s awesome even though she’s at a community college. She’ll figure out what SHE likes, she’ll excel there, as she has always excelled, she’ll likely transfer and excel there, too. It will take her a little longer, but life is long. Her grandmother died last year at 105. Her mom (me) finished her master’s at 50. It’s all good. It really is. </p>
<p>I read these posts from these kids and parents on these boards who think somehow one PARTICULAR school, a POINT on an SAT…wow.</p>
<p>MSUDAD…you rule. As does your kid :)</p>
<p>I actually read very few posts on threads that aren’t like this. Although seeing them once in a while keeps me in perspective, remember how NOT to be. It helps me support my kids better, both the one who walked into a top school and the one who won’t. It’s so easy to start believing the hype lately (ha ha - get it? HYPe?). I went to a top school that existed precisely in order to suit people like me, but I was lucky (and I’m not sure it can manage that anymore). It’s been worrisome thinking that things have changed, that there’s “nothing” out there for anything but a cookie-cutter kid. This thread and ones like it keep us on track.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Well this settles it. I can almost guarantee my son will not be headed to law school.</p>
<p>Most of my law school friends were B+ students, but I didn’t go to Harvard</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Two kids:</p>
<p>A. Very high IQ; reads Dante for fun; poor social skills</p>
<p>B. Above average IQ; drill team officer; excellent social skills</p>
<p>I bet that in general, most employers would hire B over A. Those are my two kids, and I’m a lot more worried about the future prospects of A than B.</p>
<p>My two kids:</p>
<p>A. Very high IQ, artsy-fartsy, literary interests, so good at everything she can’t decide WHAT to do, anxious to the point of dysfunction, although so funny and beautiful that she draws people like flies…only to later reject them because “people are stupid and disloyal and books are better”.</p>
<p>B. Very high IQ, similarly talented, everything’s great, everyone’s great.</p>
<p>I know which one is easier to hang OUT with! </p>
<p>I have NO idea where either one will go. But they’re interesting to raise! I anticipate the first one will write a very interesting novel. I’m still waiting for the second to READ a novel. Sigh.</p>
<p>someone should start a thread on parent’s forum…“Could my kids be more academically (and otherwise) different?”…sorry, y’all, I would win that contest…and, no, I’m not starting the thread…gotta get back to work…</p>
<p>Fun topic, people!</p>
<p>I think of my two as Quantitative and Qualitative. Unfortunately, until you get to college, the qualitative skills just don’t pay off like the the quantitative. </p>
<p>In life? I think there will be room for both of them out there. I will say that my qualitative kid has more friends - partially because she looks for them, but I think also because she’s more fun. The quantitative one was better liked by teachers - but what teacher doesn’t like a kid who gets 100 on every test? There have been so many teachers who have been put off by Qualitative; she sizes them up in a minute, and they know it. And she doesn’t dot all of her "i"s, which makes most public school teachers crazy. Yet she didn’t want to go to the gifted private school when she had a chance - she understood all of the downsides and has stuck it out here in town. She has found some incredible adults who have really been there for her, much deeper relationships than Quantitative has with the teachers who so enjoyed giving her 100s.</p>
<p>Quantitative is happy, fun to be around, has a wonderful BF, great friends at school, exciting academic and professional opportunities. Quantitative digs deeper at life, though - it fights her back a lot, but she also gets a lot of richness for her efforts. </p>
<p>I know which one I’d hire right now, but I think they’ll be in a dead heat in a few years. I do think our system unfairly rewards kids who have that extra bit of maturity before they’re 17, and makes other kids feel like they’re losers, when through no fault of their own they just need a normal amount of time to slog through the process.</p>
<p>Emmybet, am I correct in guessing that your D2 is annoed at teachers comparing her unfavorably to your D1?
My sister is only 15 months older than me, so in HS, I (sarcastic, hated HS, bored) was constantly compared unfavorably to her (polite, near perfect grades) to the point where a French teacher accused me of intentionally underperforming in his class.</p>
<p>MSU–did you think your one updating of this thread would wind up tripling its length?</p>
<p>I had that growing up… two older sisters: one who cornered academics and one who cornered cute. Sucked for me, but made me resilient.</p>
<p>Younger D doesn’t even have the same teachers as her older brother, but she told me just the other day that at least two of his teachers have specifically stopped her in the hall to ask how he was doing and to tell her that he was one of the best students they’d ever had. Of course, she took this personally (i.e., she sucks) instead of as a compliment directed towards her brother.</p>
<p>For us, it’s some of the legacy thing … sometimes more in her head than in reality. Some teachers say dumb things that leave me with my mouth hanging open.</p>
<p>On the B+ student topic - I’ll say that there have been situations where people have hit hard on certain vulnerabilities, and that’s just been rough in itself. One teacher was downright abusive, about which we made a complaint, actually. Kids who are sensitive are just more easily derailed; kids who want to follow their creative paths and not conform (and who often need more time, patience, open-mindedness) hit walls with teachers who are narrow-minded. Learning how to juggle the politics as well as doing the darn work is so much of the battle, and kids who don’t want to or can’t play that game end up with the kinds of records our kids have. </p>
<p>My D has been slow to learn that she can’t let people get in her way, but it’s taken a natural amount of time to mature, and there definitely are improvements over time. We’re just expecting people who read her story to understand, even with the blips.</p>