The Blame Game...

This is an attempt to summarize all of the “explanations” for disappointing admissions results I have heard over the last 2 cycles:

  1. Legacy took my spot
  2. Athlete took my spot
  3. URM took my spot
  4. Female took my STEM spot
  5. Rich kid took my spot
  6. First Gen kid took my spot
  7. Girl/Boy friend distracted my kid
  8. Non NY/NJ/Cal kid stole my spot- Geo diversity
  9. Private School kid stole my spot
  10. Aunt Becky and her type stole my spot
  11. ED advantage is overstated and lost my spot
  12. RD admit rates are to low because the schools solicit apps and it cost me a spot
    13 Guidance counselor gave bad advice
  13. I just didn’t have time to research and things have changed since I applied 30 years ago
  14. Holistic is unfair because I had perfect scores
  15. No one gets in without a hook
  16. The entire system is rigged
  17. The elite schools don’t seek kids like “mine”
    19 Personal favorite based on absurdity…the schools only want poor kids for economic diversity

Am I missing any?

  1. The kid with a perfect GPA took my spot, and everyone knows they are just non-creative grinders who don’t know anything about life.
  2. My stats are too high so I was yield protected.
  1. There are not enough spots for all of the qualified applicants.

^Unfortunately I think that one is entirely accurate.

  1. Its all luck and my kid was unlucky.

For high achieving HS students, this is perhaps their first experience with defeat. And maybe they shouldn’t view it as winning or losing anyway. I think the self esteem movement of the past 20-30 yrs makes this more difficult to deal with. The fact is they are competing against a much different field, where they are not “better” than everyone. That’s reality.

dog ate my… essay?

Not intended to be a brag at all, just showing you the reality…and then the good news.

  1. 2017 - S was: Class Pres, 4 yr varsity baseball / 2 yr captain, School Ambassador, Link Mentor, Selected as top overall student in grade Soph - Senior yrs by teachers, staff, and admin, 3.95 UW / 5.x W (don't remember), top 10, mid 1400s SAT single sitting, GREAT essays (memorable to the point where it was mentioned at his Jefferson Scholars interview by several trustees), great LORs, etc. Created fundraising and student immersion programs at his Charter school that are currently the model they use. Leadership all day long.
  2. Was accepted into some really fine schools (8). Was rejected from all "tippy top" (H,Y,P and Vandy). It's just the way it is. In reality, shouldn't have applied to those four because he essentially had no shot. Is amazing but not special relative the the rest of the amazing applicants. Very true!
  3. Most important point for those just going through this and dealing with disappointment - he landed at a great university (Wake Forest) and is surrounded by equally amazing kids doing really cool stuff. It's not all about HYP.
  4. For those about to start, build a solid list of schools that your kid would be happy with. Even after the rejections (7 total), We were fortunate to be left with some very solid choices. The more selective the school, the more you'll need to apply to because it's competitive out there! In retrospect, he likely applied to 7 too many (the definite rejects and 3 he wasn't that interested in- OK dad was hunting for merit money, received it but S just didn't care for the school. Dumb on my part!)

Hope this provides some clarity on reality.

  1. I’m an international student who needed financial aid.
  2. My parents couldn’t afford to overpay for the coach’s house. (Harvard only)
  1. Common app has driven more people to apply to more schools they won’t even go to and made it harder for people who want to go get it
  1. Counselor didn’t send in my transcript on time
  1. My parents provided poor genetics.
  2. My parents provided a poor environment.

The Common App comment is actually pretty accurate.

To me, it seems that holistic admissions allow admissions teams to pretty much do what they need to in order to create a “well rounded and balanced” class. Everyone just needs to understand that going in.

  1. I never set up a portal so didn't know "x" was missing.
  1. In the wake of the Harvard lawsuit, top schools are taking more Asians, so the Asian kid took my spot.
  2. I'm a girl applying to LACs, so some boy took my spot

Horrible thread.

^Horrible indeed that these themes are repeated over and over again throughout CC, but when considered in one list the ridiculousness and mutual exclusivity of many of them being accurate becomes clear.

Correct. My mistake. Horrible timing.

  1. My parents could afford to overpay for the Harvard coach’s house but my Dad tried to talk him down.and it backfired.

YMMV, but I don’t think it’s horrible or bad timing.

Some of the reasons may or may not be valid for different circumstances. IMO, seeing all the reasons listed underlines points made over and over on these boards. Chief among them, you can do all that you can reasonably to dot all the i’s and cross all the t’s in an application and then the rest is this… mess of sometimes conflicting and hard to nail down fickleness is just out of an applicant’s control or predictability.

Most of the reasons given have some truth in them.

Parents and kids seldom use the most likely reason “wasn’t good enough”.