“Consider the frequency with which during RD rounds successful students have several high end acceptances to choose from while others are often shut out entirely.”
I used to hear of that a lot. Recently I hear more of top notch students who didn’t make it in anywhere, and a lot more of “How come he got into Harvard but not Notre Dame or Michigan?” or “She made it into MIT but not Duke… doesn’t make sense.” (You can put any reason you want on it.)
I like the term “hit or miss”. There is certainly an element of luck in it too.
Obviously, some aspect not easily observable by outsiders (e.g. essay quality, recommendation quality, some aspects of some extracurriculars, …) can differ significantly between applicants with similar observable-by-outsiders profiles (courses, grades, test scores, some aspects of some extracurriculars, legacy, race/ethnicity, intended major, …). It is no surprise that the observable-by-outsiders (particularly those easily comparable like test scores, legacy, race/ethnicity) tend to be seen as most important by outsiders, while the aspects not observable by outsiders are viewed as “random”.
Personally, I think a lot of these are reasonable explanations, and I do agree it came off as mocking although it may not have been the OP’s intent. Some people on CC do need some tough love to get the point about college admissions, but most of them are just kids trying to do their best and make sense of a very confusing and emotional process.
Clearly, students who claim that all of these excuses apply to them are just in denial, but how many times on CC have students been told, for example, that all top schools are reaches unless they’re a legacy, an athlete, a URM, a full-pay student, etc, (and even then the chances still aren’t good, yes, but slightly better)? If hooks like you listed are reasons a student could get in, then they’re also reasons another student won’t get in – the only problem is that it’s impossible to know whether it was because of something they couldn’t control or something they could, like test scores.
And there were over thirty students involved in the college cheating scandal – those thirty students DID literally steal spots from thirty other kids who could have attended those schools instead. Realistically, it’s highly unlikely that’s why some random student on CC didn’t get in, but for somebody out there in the world, that IS why they didn’t get in and that’s not fair.
@SuperSenior19 "Obviously college decisions have been coming out and it didn’t go great for me. I got rejected at every selective school I applied to…
I know my applications could have been better – essay was OK but not wow, ECs were lackluster I suppose but I worked and volunteered and did some clubs – but I had a 4.0 GPA, 36 ACT, NMF, and research experience, so academically I don’t know what more they could have wanted from me."
You deserve a ton of credit for expressing personal accountability, maturity, and self awareness in your comments above. I respect your avoidance of terms that deflected responsibility for the outcome upon others but owned it personally. You should be very proud of your search results, amazing academic achievements and be excited about your future.
“Most of them are just kids trying to do their best and make sense of a very confusing and emotional process.”
Fair point but please note, I deliberately placed this thread in the parents forum because it was intended for parents who unlike kids lack perspective. As I have stated previously it is almost universally the adults that employ these “external” explanations while kids such as you display introspection and accountability.
Once again best of luck Supersenior
It’s certainly fair to expect accountability by those whose kids were disappointed. The flip side of this for me is that those whose kids were successful often under-appreciate the degree of luck and randomness involved in their success. There’s a natural inclination to pat yourself on the back for a job well done. The assumption is that the AO saw how special and deserving your kid was. The certainty that it was the awesome essay that did the trick. Maybe, but maybe it was that your kid was lucky that he or she got Reader X and not Reader Y. I think we can all benefit from some humility about success and some grace toward those who were disappointed. Especially right now in mid-April while for some the “wounds” are still fresh.
Don’t give me too much credit, @Nocreativity1 – I’ve certainly gone through many cycles of the blame game in all its forms; I don’t think it’s possible not to. One of the schools I applied to was need-aware, for example, and of course I’m still sitting here wondering if that was why I didn’t get in…I don’t think it’s right for people to blame it all on uncontrollable factors, but it would be naive to ignore the impact that things like income, legacy status, or demographics can have, either directly or indirectly. The problem is that it’s impossible to know whether you didn’t get in because of that or because of something you did, so thinking about it is eventually unproductive. What would you have done about it anyway? Maybe I’d have gotten in if I were someone else, but then I’d have to actually be someone else, and I’m not.
I don’t think that’s unique to parents, but you might be right, as far as parents who don’t understand the process well and/or think that their child is simply the best. I think a lot of people use these justifications as defense mechanisms to make themselves feel better, which I don’t have a problem with in limited doses. On the other hand, I think I’d feel much worse if I didn’t get in because of who I am than because of what I wrote in my essay, so it’s not all that comforting to me, honestly.
And for #47: I’ve also heard a lot of the “but being waitlisted means they still might want you!” going around, which might be my least favorite after the “so many qualified applicants” line. Gee, thanks, being rejected for a second time four months later really makes me feel so honored!