<p>
An example:
<a href=“possible admissions sabotage at Horace Mann - Parents Forum - College Confidential Forums”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1563697-possible-admissions-sabotage-at-horace-mann.html</a></p>
<p>I don’t like that “first choice” question because then no matter how happy your child is about where they end up, if it wasn’t the first choice I feel like others view it as “second best”. The process is stressful enough on these kids so we confine our discussions to just our own family. I know my D talks about it with at least one or two of her closest friends at BS, but other than that she agrees it is a topic to avoid. </p>
<p>I don’t like that “first choice” question and I never ask kids what their first choice would be. I’ve advised my D not to answer it (and she has been good at giving evasive answers). Last year I advised a close friend’s D to do the same, and she ended up using that advice after it became apparent that people who asked that question didn’t always have the kindest of motives. Also, what’s first choice now may not even be first choice in April… it’s a long way away.</p>
<p>I asked D2 expecting to hear that she has no idea who is applying where, but apparently she and her friends discuss it. I will say that her BS, which provides neither GPA not class rank on applications, has a strong ethos that students are not competing with each other, only trying to be the best each of them can be. </p>
<p>My dislike for the question is based on an experience I had last summer when we threw a BBQ. Some friends who had a child staring college that fall were in attendance. A neighbor who I know asks that question all the time and who knows the other family well, walked up to the child in front of everyone and asked “so where did you end up?” The child excitedly answered and he replied “close but no cigar, heh?” I could have poured my glass of wine over his head. Seemed very mean spirited to me. H thinks people are just oblivious, but I am not so willing to give people a bye when the bad behavior is directed toward children. Think the glass would have flown if it were my own child.</p>
<p>@Harvest: That is a crazy story and that neighbor deserved a shaming, if not a wine shower.</p>
<p>It was you who started the wine bucket challenge!</p>
<p>ChoatieKid has no guile. All his friends know where he wants to go, but they’ve been open with him, too. They’re all rooting for each other. He already has his acceptance to our state U which is where all the kids in our home circle go, so our friends’ curiosity ends there.</p>
<p>Senior year Parents Weekend can be tricky to navigate sometimes. You can be seated at a table, or standing with a group of Senior/Junior parents chatting away…and then suddenly (without warning) BOOM the conversation turns to college admissions. </p>
<p>Run. Do not walk to the nearest exit. </p>
<p>I’ve been “lucky” in that my daughter is so indecisive that she still has no first choice school. Wait. She has no clear and final list of schools!. I’d much rather that she be done with all the essays but I guess there is a slight benefit to her waffling.</p>
<p>Thanks, PhotoMom! You’ve given me a reason to be happy that we are going to miss PW this year. I’ve been very, very sad about that.</p>
<p>For me, I am finding that being so “outside” the process is nerve-wracking. I find myself constantly sending D texts about deadlines and asking if her CC has reviewed all her essays. I don’t want to be one of those parents that constantly calls the CC, so really our interaction with the counselor has been 2 sit down meetings and one email spread over the last 6 months. How often do you all communicate with your child’s counselor?</p>
<p>I learned how to deal with such nosy inquiries. Talk about the schools your child didn’t like. Praise those schools.<br>
Be really careful not to criticize those schools, because then the person you’re talking to will be either an alum, or the parent of a current student. </p>
<p>But, it’s safe to say, “Oh, we visited Elite School #1 over spring vacation, but my DC discovered she didn’t like the weather in that part of the country.”</p>
<p>We’ve had one e-mail exchange with the CC since school started. They’re are so busy right now working with the kids to get their EA and ED apps done. I hope I’m not supposed to be on top of CK’s dates/deadlines/essay reviews and such or my kid’s in trouble. I’m hoping that’s what Naviance and his relationship with his CC is for. My kid gets annoyed if I ask too many questions about how it’s going, and he considers Naviance a stalker-tool that I shouldn’t have access to. I assume he’ll end up in college. If he doesn’t, well THEN I’ll have an issue with his CC. ;)</p>
<p>We have had a few back and forth emails with 7D1s CC since last spring. I’ve tried to be “outside” the process with regard to the actual work of essays and applications…but chimed in on stuff like fit, asked questions about her Senior sched when it was getting put together last year, and suggested schools that weren’t on the initial list/asked questions about schools that were on the initial list (the schools I was unfamiliar with).</p>
<p>I met once with the CC last year without D2. This year we had one joint meeting to try to finalize the college list. I only try to email her with stuff that’s mine (like did you get the transcript from the summer course and do we need to request transcripts from D2’s prior high school).</p>
<p>I have told D2 that if she will keep me up to date on progress towards deadlines I’ll generally stay out of things. I have asked to see draft of common app essay and did have some suggestions that D2 actually agreed with :). </p>
<p>Loved this piece. Actually, if I haven’t mentioned it before, the MIT Admissions site is worth checking out even if you/your kid isn’t applying to MIT. Especially the blogs…lots of good advice on writing essays.</p>
<p><a href=“So Chance Me Maybe? | MIT Admissions”>http://mitadmissions.org/blogs/entry/so-chance-me-maybe</a></p>
<p>In case any parent of a senior going through the college app process is interested in a related distraction, I am reading “Early Decision: Based on a True Frenzy” right now and enjoying it so far. Maybe I found out about the book from this thread/site?</p>
<p>It’s a fictionalized account of an independent college counselor — more of an essay doctor. If you liked “Prep”, you’ll probably like this too…</p>
<p>Do any of your kids get recruited for Athletics already? I just want to see what % of students are recruits? You don’t need to mention the sport, to be anonymous.</p>
<p>@rhapsody: If the kids are class of 2015 and are recruitable, you can be sure that it’s already happened. I think coaches like to lock in as many kids as possible via verbal commits and “likely letters” as early as possible in the application season.</p>