Yep - cigars on the lawn after the ceremony at Cate as well. No pictures of that were documented on the school website capturing that particular ceremony!
My brother graduated yesterday too!
Overall great graduation week end at Andover. I was surprised how strong the message was from the administration regarding no cigars and no alcohol on campus period. Not surprised by the rules just how many different times and different ways it was communicated. Then soxkid called on to tell us about this:
Thankfully he and his friends had called to be picked up as they could tell things were getting a out of control.
@redsoxfan18 - Glad to hear that Andover admins tried to squelch the cigar smoking as I am definitely not a fan. Were they successful in that regard?
As to the post-grad party, similar thing happened after a SPS grad 5 years ago. Big post-grad parties were quiet for a year or two after that but it didn’t last long until things were in full swing again. Although the grads are no longer technically under the jurisdiction of the school any longer , its never press that the schools want. I’m always surprised that there are adults who would open their homes to such events and such risk.
@doschicos - the efforts regarding cigars failed miserably. There was a significant cloud of smoke above the graduates within minutes after the conclusion diploma distribution. My wife is pretty sensitive and she had to leave the area.
Congratulations to all the graduates!
I’m appalled by the cigar tradition. I honestly think that if I had found about it when my son first applied to boarding school, I would have just said, “These are not our people,” and forbidden him to apply (thereby depriving both my children of an extraordinary experience, yes, I know…).
Well, I know of at least one dad (ChoatieDad, I’m looking at you) who made sure that all the men in his party had stogies to light up even though only ChoatieUncle smokes. I saw a number of dads teaching their sons the proper way to ignite and (not) inhale. Like doschicosmom, I had to flee. Not my people either–too many Groucho Marx impressions.
^and its not just men. Plenty of the graduating young women are known to light up. I think it would make me puke, honestly.
I was especially surprised (appalled too, of course) that this is even a tradition at all-girls schools. At least in New England. We first witnessed it at the Porter’s graduation last year. I am glad to say that although they apparently share this tradition at my kid’s school, she finds it as disgusting as I do. (At least she does now. She has two years to go till graduation… LOL)
Right on the cover of Phillips Exeter Academy’s splash-page, there is a photo album. The cover shot is four women holding up their diplomas with an unlit cigar in hand in front of the school sign on the front lawn. Nothing illegal, of course- and a celebratory smoke once or twice a decade can’t be too harmful. Revelry and celebration!
Nothing illegal if all the kids are 18+. 
Some, like mine, weren’t yet.
So unfortunate about those grads being arrested. Hope law enforcement takes some pity on them and it does not affect their college admissions. My own D asked to throw a grad party and we said “of course” but made it very clear that it could not include serving any alcohol. She never brought the issue up again. I think it is expected that these parties will include alcohol.
We are a family that allows our own children to have a glass of wine or a beer with us if they are not going out for the evening. But who would take the risk of serving alcohol to a large group of underaged teenagers who are all driving to your home? I just do not understand it.
Per the article, the house was rented. It doesn’t appear that the “property owner” or any other responsible adult was in attendance.
I don’t think the big post-grad parties ever quiet down; it’s only a question of whether or not they’ll be caught. The SPS party in New Hampshire took place in 2010 http://www.concordmonitor.com/article/228926/st-pauls-parents-plead-no-contest.
The next year, 2011, Deerfield graduates were arrested for a party in Vermont: http://www.masslive.com/news/index.ssf/2011/05/vermont_police_crash_deerfield.html.
In the most recent Phillips Academy case, the graduate who rented the house faces criminal charges. Whoever provided the alcohol will presumably also face charges. http://www.unionleader.com/article/20150609/NEWS03/150619989 The police have said they will release further names.
I feel sorry for the graduate whose name was on the rental agreement, in that she most likely did not act alone.
I find the cigar thing a silly custom. Cigars don’t facilitate sexual assault, drunk driving or immediate death, though.
Did any of you look at “colleges that change lives”? What are your thoughts about any specific college you looked at from this list?
@rhapsody17 - We looked at several of the schools when searching out some safety options for 2 kids. Schools looked at included Beloit, Earlham (not on final lists) along with Denison, Whitman, Lawrence, and St. Olaf which stayed on the list for at least one child. Opportunities for merit aid at each were a nice plus. Let me know if you want color on any of those.
@rhapsody17: We had looked at Rhodes in Memphis. It was deemed too small by my daughter (and wife…I was chaperoning other daughter at sporting meet at the time). I think they might REQUIRE a visit of applicants?
No- but we know a young lady who attends Reed which I believe is a college that’s written about in the book. She’s an exceptionally bright girl ( and maybe a little bit nerdy- which is something I love about her ). She grew up on the East Coast ( BS alum who graduated '13 ) and she has really embraced Portland and this college with open arms and absolutely loves it… so much so that her parents fear she will never come home again. Anyway- her parents LOVE the school (rave about it every time they return home from a visit 
) and she’s doing very, very well there. I’ve heard nothing but good things!
We visited Lawrence and GG liked pretty much everything about it. We were surprised at how much we liked Appleton, too. We have considered St. Olaf, and we go back and forth on it. Recently attended Hampshire’s graduation, and know several Hampshire alums (mostly older alums), and it seems like a good place for deep thinkers who march to their own beat.
@rhapsody17, I too am looking ahead. My DD16 is planning to attend the St. John’s Summer Academy as an immersive 1-week way to experience what is up with that school . These boutique schools seem to have such singular personalities that they require in-depth research, and for some like Reed or St. John’s, at least an overnight visit and casual chats with students (and maybe auditing a class). We plan to attend the summer road show the CTCL puts on when it comes to our town.
Knowing very little at this point, my prejudiced, biased opinion is that the magic of attending these schools is pretty much a repeat of the same magic gained by attending BS (finding one’s voice, speaking out, becoming independent), so I am looking at it as “has she had time for that magic to have full effect?” If not, these schools, while very different from one another, are great finishing schools from that perspective. If she is ready for the next step, maybe a big, scary, impersonal Research Institution is the appropriate next step, with all its complexity and the things it has to teach about navigating a resource-abundant, but not personally accommodating, milieu.
I view the CTCL (and to a certain extent, SLACs) as more “boutique stores” with definite culture or “vibe,” whereas i view large research institutions (State Colleges & Privates) as more “Big Box” or “Department Stores,” where you can get lost, but if you find your niche you can really soar.
My mental analogy is a Main Street boutique (CTCL), small-but-unique stores like Patagonia (NESCAC schools), versus Walmart (StateU), versus Nordstrom (IvyLeague). You can find everything you need at any of them, but they are more or less tailored to a unique culture or vibe that selects for certain students. More people are comfortable and can find a place at a Nordstrom or a Walmart, but there are some real gems to be found only in a Main Street boutique, if it aligns with your temperament.
I am curious- those that are at the tail end of this process- is this analogy spot-on, or totally off-base?