I’ve heard great things about that pie! Our longest traditional meal was sauerbraten and kartoffel kloesse, originally made by my grandfather’s sisters (Elizabeth, Edna and bertha), my aunt took over after they died, not a big hit with the kids (sour dried out meat and lumpy potatoes, served with red cabbage), back in the day there were no alternatives like buttered noodles or chicken nuggets.
Returning to this after Passover. Okay, so I am also a control freak and like to cook the meal MY way. This tendency is made worse by H, who also likes it best my way. Yet, we do encourage people to bring their own favorite dishes and, over the years, it has evolved from just me doing everything to H and I both cooking and guests supplementing. I used to do all the cleaning, but now the kids and their GFs help. So we are moving in the right direction. I have to confess, though, that because I did not make the soup this year, a guest did it, H wants me to make a pot just for us.
Thanksgiving was the meal my mom controlled. I can’t make her pies or rolls, but I make her dressing and sides. Those are not too tough. I started a tradition of having my kids make the turkey—together. Hilarity ensues.
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Another good idea! “I didn’t make the soup for (insert holiday) but I will be happy to make it sometime in the next week or two”. So for a family member who covets having a certain dish, appease them!! 
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At some point in our childhood, my mom stopped making the Italian dishes for Thanksgiving, along with the traditional turkey etc.
Roast leg of lamb has long been the traditional Easter dinner in our family with roasted potatoes. Other sides may vary. Yesterday we sent to a family member’s home and they chose to make shish kabob. Never my favorite, the meat was overcooked. We (especially my one son) were disappointed, mostly because our expectation was for lamb and it just wasn’t that tasty (and was a lot of work).
We have incorporated our own traditions into holiday meals, and my kids are pretty into them. When is it our turn to host, guests being appies and desserts, and possibly a side, but we make the main courses. We have vegetarians, allergies, and avoidance of red meat which we try to accommodate.
It’s hard at times to cut back on the formality of “traditional dinners” but clean-up is a pain. Sometimes if you don’t want to give up the food then give up the cleaning. Time for the fancier plastic/paper plates and toss it. I thought that long ago–my MIL would have a great meal (she really was a good cook I have to admit) but spending the time afterward in the kitchen cleaning was a pain–I’d rather skip the meal. It wasn’t worth the calories. The whole family is gathered for a short time and the focus turns to cleaning the kitchen? Forget it.
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Here’s what I say. When everyone arrives in our house the entry they use is directly into the kitchen. Where I am steadily working doing those last minute food tasks. I CANNOT get them to move out of the kitchen! They all want to gather there- it’s not large! Go to the sunroom, the dining room, the living room, the deck!
So…if they REALLY have an affinity for the kitchen, they should also not avoid it AFTER the meal for clean up!
Seriously though, I don’t understand any gathering where everyone doesn’t chip in in some way with clean up - no body is being asked to scrub the floors. ASK FOR HELP. Give nice directives. “If we could just clear the dining room table by putting all the items “here” in the kitchen that would help”. Or “Susie can you do a quick inventory of the beverage area and see if it needs a quick wipe up or refreshed?”
I don’t demand a spotless kitchen and every dish washed but like to clear the dining table (except glasses in use) for when dessert will happen and I like to at least get a load of dishes started.
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And there you go. Toss the plates.
I get it. Fancy dishes for a fancy meal makes it “special”. And it does to some extent. I like using china for special occassions. I think family is more special than the dishes getting done immediately. If there are enough people to need to get a load started in the dishwasher before anything else then it’s time to re-think.
But that’s me. Totally my opinion. YMMV.
My MIL just thought it was terrible that not everyone wanted to be crammed in her tiny kitchen washing and drying dishes after “she spent so long on fixing the meal and baking her 4 different types of pies”. Nope. None of us did. It became a joke (not that she knew). We didn’t ask her to do all the cooking (she obviously enjoyed it or appeared to) although we certainly reaped the benefits of the meal. We’d rather have played games and talked and eaten the pie (and dinner) on paper plates with plastic forks than sentenced to kitchen duty.
Ever think that YOU are the attraction? That they want to see you and visit with you? 
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We actually do use throw aways for big gatherings. But there are still plenty of dishes to be washed that are NOT the plates you eat off of!
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In another thing I won’t miss about my ex sil is that she showed up at the last possible moment and did not set foot in the kitchen. So you were torn. Help mil get dinner on the table. Or make niceties with sil and nieces and nephews.
Because as soon as dinner was over, they were pretty much out the door. No games or conversation.
My fil does the dishes. No obligation to get everything cleaned up right away.
But now the family is fractured. Bil and sil divorced. Kids moved away. In laws can’t travel and it’s difficult to host. My kids live far away so holidays are now a little sad.
For big holidays I still use china and sterling – partly out of tradition but mainly because my day to day stuff doesn’t have enough settings. Years ago I did switch from using my grandmother’s beautiful but not machine washable china to much less fancy but machine washable dishes. That in and of itself makes a huge difference. We do use paper for dessert typically – by then the dishwasher is full. But these holiday meals are for relatively small groups so it is manageable. For extended family parties (30-40 people - typically not on a holiday) things are much more informal and it is paper and plastic all the way.
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Yep, my dad and grandmother were always the ones to make the traditional dishes. We’d all spend a couple days preparing together. I took over when my grandmother passed, and my dad isn’t physically able to cook anymore. I taught my DD; she loves to help, but she’s in that stage of college life where free time is very limited. I just found out my brother and nephew are going to visit in May; I think I’m going to do a whole day of traditional dishes and try to teach my nephew. DD should have a few days off before she heads to her internship, so looks like I may get a whole family baking/cooking day!! I love to cook it all, but it’s just too physically demanding to do by myself these days. I cant wait to surprise my dad 
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Tonight husband complimented me on my traditional Passover meatloaf, which is really no different than any meatloaf except it uses matzah meal instead of bread crumbs. So I told him about this thread. It’s really only the two of us now so no real expectations.
I did go buy a 7” angel food pan for our traditional Passover sponge cake because no way can we finish a 10” cake.
I still make homemade matzah ball soup for Passover, latkes from scratch for Chanukah, and honey cake for Rosh Hashona. My new tradition for Thanksgiving is to find a buffet on the water with a stuffing I like.
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My DH, BIL, sons and their male cousins all help with the cleanup. Putting the food away is almost the most challenging part depending on how much is left over and who gets “to go” containers. I would be very unhappy if nobody helped but we always made the kids assist. It still is a lot of work, but nice to have help!
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Always turkey for Thanksgiving, always ham for Christmas. Our family is like many, many others.
But I can still tell you what mom made for dinner – the staples:
- Tuna casserole
- Baked spare ribs and barbecue sauce
- Enchiladas → favorite
- Chicken Divan
- Meat loaf
- Lasagna
- Pork chops
Those were the Magnificent Seven. There were others, but we could count on each of those being made at least twice monthly.
In my house, these are the “traditions”:
- Fiesta Night (beef, rice, beans, taco seasoning, all mixed up and used as a base for nachos, burritos, etc.)
- Hamburger Helper (no shame!)
- Pork chops (mine aren’t as dry as mom’s were. hehe)
- Meat loaf
- Grill Night (weather permitting… getting to be that time of year)
- Pasta Night (typically Bolognese or quick Bolognese… or vodka sauce)
- Grilled sandwiches and salad
- Frozen pizza, kicked up a notch with extra mozzarella, parm, garlic, etc.
I am a Pisces… and not much of a cannibal.
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I actually love Hamburger Helper. Always have.
Meatloaf
Pot roast
Pork chops
Chicken enchiladas
Tacos
BBQ Salmon
Chicken and biscuits
Burgers
Lasagna
Ham and Scalloped potatoes
Pork Tenderloins
S21 comes home from breaks and says we eat meals that are too heavy.
(He’s right, drat, so now we are focusing at least on smaller portions, less meat and more fish.)
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I just texted my aunt (82) for the apple flintzen recipe! Grateful to this thread to remind me.
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For many years I’ve made a chocolate Yule Log cake (that I personally love) for Christmas Eve. This year I wasn’t feeling well so decided not to go through the effort. My 20 something aged sons kept talking about being sad about stopping the tradition (although not sad enough to make it themselves!) but I said it wasn’t discontinued we were now just having it in alternate years.
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I’m curious what the dish is like. I googled and found nothing.
It’s a very rich pancake fried with chunks of apple. I know the recipe includes sour cream.
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