The federal government has nothing on big univeristy bureaucracies

Parents Forum
1

I just called my son’s housing office, and it reminds me of trying to call a government office, or frankly even worse a health insurance company.

He is contemplating moving out of the dorms at semester. There is a decent penalty for that, which I don’t love but I understand. The penalty is supposed to be 40% of your remaining contract (housing and meal plan). He is in apartment style housing, which allows him to either have a meal plan or not. He can drop the meal plan without any penalty between semesters, but not during a semester.

If he moves out at the end of finals week, he owes roughly a $3,000 penalty. He is in an oversubscribed dorm, and lots of kids would probably like to move into his spot. They will regret it after they meet his roommates, but that’s a story for another time. So definitely if he is moving out at semester, it is better for the university if he moves out right after finals so they can put someone else in his spot to start the spring semester.

If he waits and moves out the second day of classes spring semester, his meal plan has now been dropped penalty free and he only pays a $1500 penalty to cancel his housing contract. That makes it harder for the university to fill the room, and potentially keeps a kid out of the housing they want.

No flexibility here apparently. But if he knows he is moving out, I am being told the “right thing to do” is to pay the extra $1,500. That doesn’t benefit him at all, actually it makes his life slightly easier to wait because of lease terms anyway. I’d even pay a couple hundred MORE to move out January instead of December.

I’m certainly not paying an extra $1,500 to make my life harder and theirs easier. And I don’t feel bad about it. That room will still be filled a couple weeks after he moves out, there isn’t a single bed available in his dorm right now (he has checked, the current roommate situation is part of what is leading to the change). So that $1,500 we still pay is probably more than a $1,000 windfall to the university after any expenses to move him out and someone else in.

I may bump it up to a supervisor at some point, but for now I’m just exploring options. Probably only 60% likely to move out anyway. But right now they are charging me a penalty to do what helps them. That’s not the kind of incentive that gets people to help you out.

2

I’d certainly talk to a supervisor. It makes no sense. So sorry your S has a tough room mate situation. Id get it in writing. Perhaps you were quoted the info backwards or something.

3

Things progressed pretty quickly and now I think he moves out right after thanksgiving.

As is typical with a big govt office I called back and got different answer. Will confirm before he signs anything, but now penalty $2000 dec 1, which is about a breakeven number anyway due to high dorm cost compared to other options.

4

@dadof4kids Hope everything works out well for your son.

5

Wow, crazy scenario.

I empathize with you and your son’s situation. My son is having issues with his roommate. He’s in a suite with three bedrooms and six kids. He and his suitemates have met multiple times with the RA as well as the RD about S19’s roommate. They’ve both been great but their hands are tied - no space available for anyone to move so they have been working within their procedures to deal with S19’s roommate. Meantime, S19 is suffering, both academically and physically (to the point where his RA told him to find somewhere to sleep it was so awful). Our most recent conversation with S19 is such that he is starting to question his safety and thinks it is time for us to get involved and contact the school. ?

I assume your son is moving off campus? Unfortunately S19 does not currently have that option. Hope everything works out to your son’s benefit, as well as to your wallet.

6

Ugh so sorry you both have to deal with this situation. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for your kids @dadof4kids and @4kids4us

7

Good luck to your son @4kids4us. Things do usually work themselves out, although there is a lot of stress and sometimes work involved.

S18 has had a bit of a journey that I have mentioned on a couple other threads. This is his second school. It was his first choice for 18 years of life, but senior year he decided to follow a bad fit girlfriend to her school instead. He made a last minute (end of this July) decision to ditch the girlfriend and her school and transfer after freshman year. Fortunately the school he wanted was an automatic admit with his high school record and first year college GPA.

Unfortunately, when you get admitted in August your housing options are severely limited. He did get into the residence hall he wanted, but with 3 roommates who are not a good fit at all. W and S would disagree, but I think they aren’t really bad people. But he has been miserable living with them. And he is finding out recently that the other people in his hall have been avoiding him, since they dislike his roommates and assume he must be like them (it is upperclass housing, there are almost no random roommates, so most rooms are filled with compatible/similar students) I don’t think he has told the roommates yet he is leaving, but they will be relieved too I’m sure.

He ended up joining a chapter of his fraternity from the first college. He grew to really dislike them at the first college, so didn’t even consider them at the new school. But after he met some people at the new school and hung out at the house he realized that it was a much better fit. The first one was basically a drinking club for kids without much ambition. The second one emphasizes academics and EC’s. They drink, but it’s a dry house with pretty hefty and enforced penalties for drinking or even bringing alcohol into the house. Overall a much better fit.

@4kids4us I"m guessing you have already considered this, but is there an option for some special interest housing, or a different residence hall he could move into?
Maybe find a situation that is not good but at least less bad.

Maybe a buddy with an absentee roommate that he could work something out with? I know at S’s old school, freshmen were required to live on campus. I also know a couple kids who basically lived with a girl/boy friend off campus unofficially. I think one was due to parent issues, the other one parents knew about but he still had a room in the residence hall to keep the University happy. That one was one of S’s suitemates. H didn’t bother to even move anything into the room, just picked up his univeristy mail there once a week or so. They propped his bed up against the wall to keep it out of the way.

Anyway, good luck.

8

@dadof4kids unfortunately, S19’s school is overenrolled; as of right now, there are no empty beds available. He cannot move off campus. S19 absolutely does not want to move out - he gets along well with the rest of his suitemates. And while it would solve his personal problem, it does not solve it for his suitemates. A variety of issues, but the biggest for my son personally was one) nonstop gaming where the mouse clicking and screen glow was preventing him from being able to sleep and 2) really bad personal hygiene and mess, old food, etc. Apparently the kid has a reputation that precedes him - when people find out who my son’s roommate is, they are all like “omg, you live with THAT kid?” They are unable to gather socially in their own living room b/c of this kid.

On one occasion, S19 had just come back on a red eye flight from an away game, and arrived back at school exhausted. The stench in his room was so bad, he went to his RA who agreed and told him to find somewhere else to sleep! At one point he told his coach and his coach told him to let him know if things didn’t get better. However, S19 knew his coach’s solution would be to use his influence to move S19, and S19 really does not want to move - the rest of his suite all get along (tho they don’t all hang out together, but they like one another. His friends all live in his dorm, which is central to everything. So for the time being, S19 was trying to work it out thru his RA and RD. They are very understanding and trying to help, but have said there just isn’t any space to move either out (the roommate has flat out refused to move anyway).

During S19’s ast phone call tho, he expressed some concern that he can’t be too sure his roommate might not hurt him (everyone describes him as creepy and weird). He makes sure the door to his bedroom is unlocked at night so that his suitemates are able to get in their shared room in an emergency! While I’d like to think this is just some teenage boys letting their imaginations run wild, in this day and age, you just can’t be too certain. S19 will be home for Thanksgiving and then back again two weeks later for Christmas break so we are going to talk about it when he comes home this week and also discuss it with a couple of his suitemates parents, all of whom are apparently aware of the situation and willing to go to administration together to express our concerns.

I’m glad to hear your son is doing well at his current university. I saw that dilemma when you originally posted about it. Hopefully he can get the living situation worked out and it doesn’t cost you too much!

9

Good luck. Sounds like getting an organized parent group might be the best situation.

In my situation the money is about a wash due to the high cost of student housing. The fraternity is $1500 or so cheaper every semester. I’m sure there are some other costs he will incur there, but nowhere near $3,000/year.

10

The right thing to do is move out 2nd semester, and save $1500. You didn’t set up the system, and they obviously don’t care about $1500. Sounds like a typical bureaucracy.

11

Some schools have an agreement to allow students to move to Greek housing without penalty. My daughter’s sorority required they eat at the house and the school released them from the meal plan (prorated it) immediately after pledging. She liked the food at the sorority house better, and it was right across the street from her dorm so easy access. Some of the freshmen moved in at the semester break and they were released from their dorm contracts too.

Is it possible, @dadof4kids, that your son would like to keep his meal plan? Some guys living in frats do keep a meal plan. My daughter’s boyfriend had a M-F lunch plan at their school, and lunch was from 10-3, so he ate a lot during those hours. A LOT. My nephew also had a partial meal plan when he was living off campus.

12

This is kind of a late reply, but the school specifically states that they do NOT allow students to break the contract for Greek housing.

He has meals at the fraternity, and I think he pays the same whether he eats them or not. So he definitely won’t be keeping the meal plan.

Both are good suggestions, by the way. Just not applicable for the way they run things at his particular school.

He is moving out at end of semester. Actually he moved shortly after Thanksgiving, but as of December 1 university housing doesn’t prorate the contract for the remainder of the semester, so he has access both places right now. But physically he is gone. The fraternity won’t charge him until next semester.

Some good news, the fraternity will eat the penalty he incurs from moving out of university housing. I’ll still try to make sure that he isn’t penalized more than he should be. But still that’s a bit of a relief.