@Mary13 Sharing the link is fine. As soon as Elizabeth was born, Judy (my cousin) and Roger knew they wanted to tell their story so other couples who were unable to conceive naturally would know of this new possibility. As you can imagine, when their identities were made public, they were overwhelmed with requests for interviews. As I recall, when Judy was in the hospital in VA before the birth the National Enquirer was trying to get flowers delivered to her room, to get a “reporter” to her room, etc. Judy & Roger had one of my brothers, an attorney, fly to Norfolk for the birth to fend off all the unwanted attention/requests, etc. Initially they ended up doing an exclusive interview with “Family Circle” magazine (pretty sure that doesn’t exist any longer) and a PBS Nova production called “A Daughter for Judy.” (Somewhere in that production they showed a couple photos from Judy & Roger’s wedding; I was a bridesmaid, so am in the background of 1 photo. That’s my 15 seconds (or less) of fame!)
I loved the book - great comments above.
Having finished it a month ago, I don’t recall the character’s name. But yikes for the poor Cornell roommate/girlfriend caught in the weird Oppenheimer sibling avoidance.
That is amazing ! @CBBBlinker about the first US test tube baby!
And , another surprising thing is how common IVF is now, four of my daughters friends just had babies through IVF.
Almost as stunning as Ignatius having triplet siblings! Incredible
Joining late as well! I have had no time in the last couple of months to read anything — we had multiple events on our calendar and so we have been traveling a lot.
I stayed up last night to finish the book and found it well worth my time. Oddly enough I couldn’t get into the book at all for the first 1/3 and was getting ready to quit! Glad I stuck with it now.
There’s a lot to unpack and I’m not even sure where to start.
My first impression was that this is not a book that I would like. The characters were boring and at times repelling. Somewhere along the way I was 100% in and I credit this to the author — she reeled me in and I didn’t even know it. Also, very coincidentally I’ve been watching This is a Robbery the Netflix documentary series about the 1990 Isabella Stewart Gardner museum art heist and there was a mention of the warehouses at Red Hook where, just possibly, some of the stolen artwork may have been stored at one time. I love it when two unconnected things I’m doing just tangentially connect.
Johanna, was not fleshed out completely and partially because the narrator is her youngest daughter. I can understand that she felt strongly about not parenting like her own parents because of their unequal and preferential treatment of their son over their daughters. But no explanation of why she is so fixated on mothering. Nothing in the early part of the book explains why she feels this intense reaction to mother Salo. Her idea of being a good parent is to cocoon wrap her family in a fantasy family circle without learning what each individual child needs from her. She fails as a mother because she doesn’t understand the nuances of motherhood. She quits her volunteer job because of the unwanted and unplanned pregnancies of the two interns. Really? Is she so desperate to check the box of motherhood? Why? And once that happens for her, she is happy to play mother rather than be a mother.
She is marginally better as a wife but that relationship is doomed because of Salo.
Salo is a complex character. A rich and privileged kid who could get anything he wanted without effort, he was figuring life out when the catastrophic accident happens. He is emotionally frozen and remains so until Stella somehow thaws him by assigning no blame to him for the accident. I understand his reason for loving Stella but deplore his unfaithfulness to Johanna and his inability to be a real father to his kids by her. The sound of his son by Stella laughing on the phone makes him decide to leave his other children at a point when they are all breaking apart? What kind of father would do that! I was happy to see him go — he was truly weightless and inconsequential — I sensed that the end was coming for him although the manner of his departure blindsided me because I lost track of the dates.
Will continue this over long post in a second part.
Contd.
The triplets were interesting to read about as the book developed. Mild dislike for Harrison and Sally, neutral to Lewyn in the beginning which moved to intense dislike for Harrison and Sally and on the fence about Lewyn by the middle. By the end of the book, I liked Lewyn, could sympathize with Sally and still despised Harrison. I initially thought that the relationship between the triplets was fractured because they were missing an integral part of themselves in the fourth blastocyst. But as the book progressed, it seemed that wasn’t the reason. H and S were intensely individualistic children who felt smothered by their mother while Lewyn was more needy. Forcing the closeness as Johanna tried to do made them want to break out and escape.
Harrison, smart, arrogant and deluded about his own ability. He should have continued to pursue that nebulous feeling he had that he wasn’t the smartest person around. Being intellectually superior to his siblings didn’t make him a genius. Somehow he got lost in the pursuit of his genius. He followed the wrong stars, became an acolyte to a brilliant con man and lost his way a bit. His ideas for education were interesting and worth. He should have become an independent thinker but became a follower. For someone as smart as he thought he was, Eli’s con should’ve been obvious. In the end, he seems to be moving towards the direction he was trying to go his whole life.
Sally smart, private and conflicted. She seems to have some tender feelings for her mother. Her disdain for Lewyn was inexplicable. Harrison works at and succeeds in alienating her. Her giving away her belongings at college seems to be a major turning point for her. She is beginning to see an existence for herself, away from the moneyed, sheltered cocoon. Her fascination and passionate love for furniture is part of her inheritance from her father. Her emotional journey seems to come to a satisfying end when she finds a way to move on beyond her guilt for her various sins, real or imagined.
Lewyn in the shadow of his bright brother, despised and ignored by both co-triplets. He finds his place in life and his vocation in a bit of a convoluted journey. I can’t seem to understand his fascination for the Mormons. Can the glimpse of a (superficial) love and closeness of a community seen from afar be enough of a reason? The lack of a deep and close relationship with his siblings, his father and even his mother seems to define who Lewyn is. It’s possible that he is most affected by the absence of a fourth part of their supposed quad. I never disliked him and quite liked him at the end.
Phoebe intelligent, emotionally balanced, and warm. Her narration of the events is building her character for the reader. She seems the most put together and balanced sibling. She was never smothered and perhaps that helped. Coming late into the family group was good for her although she never gets to have a relationship with her father. She is a catalyst. She, with help from Lewyn, Ephraim, Sally, Rochelle and to some extent from Stella, brings together the family again. I am a bit baffled by her choosing to be part of the first co-ed class at Roarke, especially following in the footsteps of the least likable triplet.
The book gallops to its ‘happy’ end. It was a great journey getting there but the last part felt a bit rushed. It is a heavy book but easy to read. Great for a discussion. I’m still thinking about it.
Edited as I got the two “E”
Named guys confused!
I was surprised that Phoebe would take the same path as Harrison at the alternative school. Her relationship with the 3 seemed the least with Harrison and while I get she didn’t know what she wanted, I failed to see how that option - for her - after seeing it producing Harrison AND Eli - would be a wise decision.
Plenty of other options in a gap year!!! 
Perfect description!
Yes. I think Lewyn’s desire/need of a loving family and community led him to the Mormons. He was searching for what was missing in his own life.
Me, too. I can’t quite figure out the connection.
Yes, Phoebe’s choice of school was inexplicable to me. She was otherwise a pretty grounded young person. I could see her going off to Yale to be with Ebrahim whom she actually liked but not to the school of her older triplet whom she didn’t particularly care for.
I think Harrison’s following of Eli was the author mirroring recent events.
I also think that Harrison knew Eli was a fraud. He wasn’t stupid but was transactional. Eli was a means to getting what he wanted. It was a mirror that smart people will follow a despicable person because it’s a means to an end. Fame and fortune for them. And the lack of a moral core.
So Harrison ignored any evidence or thoughts of Eli because he got him on the news. And made him important.
Harrison may just have been a star struck groupie and just so honored that someone he admired had singled him out. Many people have blind spots and can ignore much in someone they admire.
Was glancing through reviews of newly added movies on Kanopy and saw this one which made me think of Salo & Stella.
I viewed Phoebe’s choice as a deliberate move in her game to unite her siblings and take her full spot in the foursome. Harrison was the hardest nut to crack and choosing Roarke was a way of bonding with him. Not that it was a sacrificial move – I think Phoebe was truly intrigued by Roarke – but she also knew that choosing it would be helpful in her master plan.
(I’m sure the real Deep Springs College was happy that Phoebe made it her choice, lest the world think that the place only turned out Harrisons!)
The Burden (movie) is about a recovering alcoholic who is starting a relationship with his ex, whose BF was killed by The alcoholic and his brother, drunk driving. Somehow the words of synopsis were cut off.
Being intruiged by a U and then deciding to attend it are far different things. My S was also intruiged by Deep Springs but never even requested an application. Manual labor definitely didn’t appeal to my kiddo.
You get the feeling Phoebe could succeed with wherever she ended up—she seemed pretty intact and had enjoyed summer camp and was ok in school as well.
Well, at least Roarke is only for two years and Phoebe will (presumably) finish up at a college better suited for her – and still have lots of fodder for future conversations with Harrison.
Didn’t like Harrison, but I did admire his worth ethic… especially considering his family wealth.
It’s true Harrison was hard to like but did work hard. It’s sad he was so vindictive toward Stella—didn’t really help him or anyone else. He seemed to see the world in black and white—no greys.
I just opened the Washington Post and read the above article. I think I used a gift link, so there should be no paywall, but if there is, here’s the paragraph that made me think of Salo (and all art lovers, really):
Why, I wondered, do we cherish representations of things in the world when we ourselves are already in the world, surrounded by real things? I could only think that this excess, this superfluity, must be inherent in art and perhaps in life, too. It might even be the means by which life goes on. “This is really all we have got,” as the British novelist Ian McEwan once wrote, “this increase, this matter of life loving itself.”
I don’t understand the paragraph. Art is a salvation when life stops making sense, as it does from time to time, like in a fatal car accident. Salo collecting art makes total sense to me.
Are we overanalyzing? Could it be that the author sometimes just wrote to entertain? The book was entertaining but didn’t always make sense to me.
Kudos to you @AnAsmom, excellent summary of each Oppenheimer family member.
I enjoyed reading your detailed analysis.
You wrote :
“I can’t seem to understand his fascination for the Mormons. Can the glimpse of a (superficial) love and closeness of a community seen from afar be enough of a reason?“
In the interview link I posted above, the author mentions she is obsessed with Mormonism, which intrigues me, hence we encounter this via Lewyn.
We lived In Salt Lake City for short time, so I had a glimpse into the LDS culture, ( knew nothing about the pageant in upstate nY, found that fascinating )
I, also, have close friends who are Mormon.
So I knew Lewyn would be drawn to this religion, with the emphasis “on family”, and the warmth and welcoming new converts to the fold.
Clearly, Mormonism offered him the “community”, “acceptance” thr “family “ he so needed.