Same here. MOB picking first, at least some discussion of color, style was not that unusual in the 80’s when I got married.
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I have been a MOB and MOG. Neither occasion did I consult the bride on what I should wear and I don’t remember showing my dresses for approval. I didn’t know what the in-laws were wearing either and I didn’t care. I didn’t need to tiptoe around anyone and if I gave any opinions at all, I turned to my own kids, not their spouses. I was hardly involved at my son’s wedding planning and partly because I lived across the country and my son let his bride take over. And I didnt’ feel slighted at all. I only did the rehearsal dinner with 50 guests.
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@cbreeze , I was the MOG and didn’t even plan the rehearsal dinner! The bride and groom wanted the rehearsal dinner and welcome party at the same upscale,expensive country inn as the wedding ceremony and reception. There was a cool brewery space nearby I would have been excited to look into for the rehearsal dinner, but oh well. Our contribution -$$$. 
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You were lucky. Planning the rehearsal dinner across the country was a lot of work… just like a mini wedding reception. Guest list, printed invitations, menu planning, decorations etc. I would have gladly only contributed $$$ and no work.
The rehearsal dinner was for about 40, wedding party and immediate family only. We were also out of town. I did offer to buy/send the invitations, deal with the RSVP’s, etc. but my DIL had a system, vision for the invitations, and I did not push it. And things have changed with those kinds of things anyway (who’s hosting, who’s paying), especially for established couples over 30. They paid the biggest chunk of anything and got the wedding weekend they wanted. We just showed up looking fine and behaving ourselves! And I did get to pick the mother/son dance song and that was a big hit!
But, yes, I guess we were lucky. But, I didn’t particularly see it that way at the time!
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Son’s rehearsal happy hour (rehearsal is from noon-2PM) is at a local pizza place where he and FDIL had their first date. It’s just down the street from the hotel/wedding venue. Only those participating in the rehearsal are invited which is about 25 people. I reserved the space, one the bridesmaids and I are remotely coordinating on some basic decorating (I supplied plenty of through-the-years photos of son for her to create some embarrassment). She will send out invites. It will just be pizza and beer for about three hours, easy and inexpensive.
If we had to extend to out-of-towners, we’d basically be hosting a second reception as everyone but the couple’s workmate-friends are out of state, and that isn’t going to happen. We’ve let everyone know that they are on their own until the wedding.
Solid plan.
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@ChoatieMom At the wedding last May, after the rehearsal dinner , there was a welcome party at the wedding venue for anybody invited to the wedding, regardless of out of town (many) or not. 90+ showed up for that , more than they expected, for a wedding the next day with about 110 guests. It was a good time.
Beer and pizza sound great! More my style for a rehearsal dinner . It will be great!
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That’s what we’d be afraid of.
It would have been very easy just to move the rehearsal party to the lovely bar atop the hotel, but that would seem too much like the reception the following day, and we didn’t want to offend any friends/family staying at the hotel who might wander in to join a “closed” event. The place where they had their first date seemed a solid choice with sentimental value, and neither son nor FDIL want too overspend (or have us overspend) on anything wedding-related.
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My cousin’s D had similar color bridesmaid dresses and she wore lavender. It looked lovely!
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Yes, I can see that could be awkward. Son and his wife bought out the inn’s rooms for the weekend so only the wedding party and immediate family were staying there (about 36 people). Other guests were staying in other hotels or Airbnb 's nearby if they needed a place to stay. The welcome party was in the courtyard and inn and quite different from the wedding day site-same property but outside at an ivy covered wall and big tent on the property for the reception. So, even though same venue, very different experiences.
I was married in 1986 and am pretty sure my folks never spoke to my in-laws until the wedding rehearsal. My MIL wore a light colored embroidered satin dress just below knee with matching satin coat. My FIL wore a dark suit.
My mom wore royal blue chiffon gown matching the light blue chiffon gowns worn by my sisters, the wedding party. Mom’s gown was long like the wedding party. It was perfect to me.
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That’s exactly what we had. The grooms family did this after the rehearsal which was two days before the wedding. The night before, we had a small welcome event at the wedding hotel for any out of town guests. It was very informal and fun. Appetizers, pizza (most of them weren’t at the rehearsal pizza party), finger food desserts, that sort of thing.
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We have no idea whether S and fiancée want any welcome reception, rehearsal, whatever. We gave S a lot of $$$ and are awaiting whatever they say.
My cousin’s rehearsal dinner was in her backyard with a rock band and pizza. It was a lot more fun than the wedding!
We don’t have any photos of the rehearsal dinner and I don’t remember exactly who was at it. I remember I wore a bright red silk brocade dress with a fitted waist that was pretty snug, but I loved that dress! I’d found it in a consignment shop, so I couldn’t just get a bigger size.
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@HImom When are you expecting to get your dresses to try on?
Should have all dresses arriving within the next few days to the next week.
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For D, I just sent the list of Amazon dresses that may fit and her style and will let her deal.
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Just remembered one funny thing about my last year’s MOB dress shopping. 
I was trying on a lovely navy gown, and Mr. B commented, “Why would you want to wear black to your daughter’s wedding?” “It is not black! It is navy!” To which he replied, “You need something more colorful! This dress is nice, just not for a wedding! I guess you can keep it and wear it to my funeral.” 
My husband rarely comments on my clothes choices, but when he does, it really means he has a strong opinion. 
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Some “navy” colors are clearly blue. But some can look very similar to black. I have been known to look more than once at a piece of clothing myself or ask my husband or sister whether they think something is navy or black!
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Yes, at least one of the dresses I tried on were too dark, so as to look black. With the royal blue, it’s clearly a BLUE and not a black. H’s suit is also pretty clearly navy and not black.
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