The New AU Parents Thread

<p>For the sake of any newbies to this thread who may be completely puzzled by recent posts: The poster named cadmiumred has been trashing AU, and particularly the Fine Arts department, for many months, yet she has never accepted a word of our heartfelt and well-researched advice about how to improve her daughter’s situation, nor has she explained why her supposedly wildly talented offspring 1) chose to go for a BFA at a school not known for its Fine Arts BFA program, and 2) has not considered transferring in light of her countless disappointments with all aspects of AU. </p>

<p>For various reasons, including her posts elsewhere on CC (the Cornell thread) and the tone and content of her posts here (the most famous of which pondered whether the needles used for flu inoculations would be sterile), many regulars on this thread have come to believe that cadmiumred is not in fact an AU parent, that there is no daughter attending AU, and that she (or perhaps he) is in fact a student at another college with some kind of weird vendetta against AU and its Fine Arts Department and an odd (and sad) way of amusing herself/himself by posting here. Many of us have tried to ignore her posts in hopes she would go away, but it is hard to do so (I’ve totally failed), especially when we worry that unsuspecting readers will take her comments to heart. We also often can’t resist amusing ourselves giving her a bit of a playful poke in light of some of her wackier statements. In any event she has zero credibility on this thread.</p>

<p>I hope that was helpful.</p>

<p>Does anyone have experience with the “random” selection of roommates? How well does that usually turn out?</p>

<p>My daughter had very good luck with her roommates but it could easily be a disaster. She did contact the housing office to make sure that she did not get housed with anyone who smokes even if they only smoke outside since she has asthma. They did note the health concern.
My D got along well most of the time with both roomies and they choose to stay in their triple through fall semester but de-tripled in the spring. All three of them were very organized with their stuff so they managed the space well. She and the roommate she continued to room with stayed together their sophomore year and are planning to get an apartment together for junior and senior year.
Ellen</p>

<p>In my experience, it is rarely a problem. I think a major misconception with people is they want and expect to be friends with their roommates. It’s great if you are friends, but its hardly necessary – all you have to be is good roommates. My roommate freshman year couldn’t have been farther different from me. I actually vividly (and I’m embarrassed to say this) remember crying after my first conversation with her. But, we had respect for each other and our study and sleep habits were virtually the same, and now she’s one of my good friends. My advice is to set up rules together at the beginning, regarding sleeping, studying, and overnight guests/visitors. That way, nothing is open to interpretation and you’ll get along much better in the long run.</p>

<p>Are there a few people who simply can’t stand who they’re living with? Yes. The chances that you’ll be one of those people? Highly unlikely. Keep an open mind, and you’ll be fine.</p>

<p>Here’s an idea:
CR, start a “Complaints about AU” thread and do your posting there. That way viewers can choose to read your posts or not.</p>

<p>My daughter and her roommate couldn’t be more different and they probably would not been friends under normal circumstances. But after a semester together they are very close. They had a frank discussion at the beginning about what they would tolerate and what is definitely not okay and they have both respected each other’s parameters. The uniquely intense situation of living with a stranger in a place where you know no one created a special bond. They have had each other’s backs all semester and it is a great comfort to have that support. My daughter missed a class taking care of her roommate when she was sick, and she knows her roommate would have done the same for her. I do think the laying down of rules from the start was critical to their success. I guess they are kind of like sisters–they don’t always hang out together and have their own groups of friends, but they are there for each other. I think their situation is pretty common.</p>

<p>My s is still with his 2 other roommates. He considered de-tripling for more privacy, but in the end all 3 agreed to stay together. He has becomes great friends with one and very good friends with the other. They all have managed to get along well, with little, if any conflicts. Roommate #2 is messier than my son would like, (which is pretty ironic coming from my previously messy son), but it’s not something intolerable.</p>

<p>If I remember correctly, smoking was the one compatibility question they did put on the dorm application, so non-smokers don’t have to worry about being placed with smokers.</p>

<p>There are very few parents at all posting on this thread because, if they have opposing views, you discount them and tear them down. (I receive various private messages about this, attesting to my bravery) And yes, it is actually possible for a parent on this thread to have a child at 2 different colleges as I do. Groundbreaking isn’t it???</p>

<p>I see no evidence that you have a child at either. Certainly the art faculty at AU has no reason to believe you do.</p>

<p>And here’s what you write on the Cornell thread:</p>

<p>“If you have a paper due Sunday, can you submit it days earlier than the due date on blackboard? Or, in general, must you send your papers electronically on the actual due date only?”</p>

<p>Does anyone think this sounds like a parent?</p>

<p>S met his random roommate in June when they went to dinner together when my son was visiting in roomie’s home town. His comment then “Well, he’s certainly different…but we will probably do ok as roomies. probably not best friend material.” After living together since August? " Well, he’s certainly different! It’s great having a best friend who is so different…we each really enjoy hanging with a really diverse group."</p>

<p>They are planning on living together again next year.</p>

<p>It would be best if my daughter could take the intro drawing or advanced courses at AU because drawing is the foundation of painting. Every competent visual artist knows that. Why won’t they let, require and give priority to the intended art majors for taking intro drawing or advanced drawing before anything else?? This is so basic. It should not require kids running to department heads, faculty etc. The university should absolutely, without a doubt, know this, respect this. There are art profs there at AU from respected fine art studio programs. It is a given they would know art talent needs to be cultivated, not taken lightly and that the required foundation courses need to be taken. Why is there a BFA offered at AU at all? A BFA is serious art training. Why are University of Maryland art students featured at the Katzen Art Center. No one has yet to answer these critical and pertinent questions. You cannot favor a few majors like SIS, Comm. and Kogod and not respect the others, requiring the other students to go out of their way to get their needed courses. It is sad and completely unfair.</p>

<p>Cad, your questions have been answered over and over by various posters each making different suggestions and listing different contacts or ideas, the problem isn’t with the school, the art department or the other posters on this board its clearly with you.</p>

<p>What dorm is better for freshman Anderson or Letts?</p>

<p>I agree with you Cad that your daughter’s situation does seem unfair. It’s hard for us to know what steps she’s taken to resolve the issues, but I know my 18 year old daughter would not be capable of combatting entrenched procedures. It sounds like you’ve tried to help her too. This board is not receptive to your understandable frustrations, so as much as you do bring color to the conversation, I would suggest that you schedule a phone call with her advisor instead of posting here so you can get some answers and then decide what next steps to take. I don’t agree that the problem is not with the school or the art department. It may well be. But I do know that you won’t get much support here except for the pm’s you receive. Maybe that’s some solace, but the truth is, parents have a hard time reading a lot of negative stuff about their kid’s school, even if it is true. Kids do struggle at and transfer out of even the top schools. That your daughter wants to stay in spite of everything speaks well for AU, but that she’s also encountering so many brick walls just means AU has room to improve.</p>

<p>The art profs at AU do know that artistic talent needs to be cultivated, but since the 'rad’s likely non-existent daughter has never even bothered to meet a single one of them, or show them ANYTHING that even remotely suggests artistic talent, how would they know there is anything to cultivate?</p>

<p>Meanwhile, I hope 'rad gets all her papers written (and submitted electronically) before the end of term.</p>

<p>Lin0,
Anderson and Letts are more similar than different. They are right next to one another, so neither has a better location on campus. Both are next to the library and near Mary Graydon, where the dining hall and bookstore and gym are located. They share a shuttle stop as well.</p>

<p>Both dorms are large and friendly with a lot of extras inside…Anderson has a computer lab, Letts has a workout facility and game room. Kids go back and forth all the time.</p>

<p>Before you make up your mind, consider if you want to be involved in one of AU’s programs such as an honors floor or a University College. My son chose to be in one of the University College sections, and as such is in the dorm assigned to his chosen program. He has really liked his University College course and the students he has lived with.</p>

<p>Thank you for your kind post Wrist. I was trying to avoid going to the advisor or art chair, (they don’t like parent involvement), but it looks like I may have no choice at this point.</p>

<p>wrist, have you read the entire thread? before you get involved with cad you may want to read the whole thread or for an even better laugh read the original parents thread. Many parents and students have offered thoughtful suggestions to her and her ‘daughter’ but since no matter what is suggested rad comes back either saying it won’t work, ignoring suggestions all together, or with a whole new ridiculous complaint (such as the time she claimed the needles being used to administer the swine flu vaccine were not sterile) everyone on here has stopped giving thoughtful advice. I don’t believe for a second she receives PMs nor do I believe she even has a daughter, mostly because of her posts on the Cornell board and because no one at AU has ever heard of her D, most people don’t believe these things either. I wouldn’t waste too much of your time giving advice to a non existant child.</p>

<p>On a more relevant note, are any of your students considering study abroad for the fall semester?</p>

<p>Nic, the suggestions Cad has received haven’t worked. Her daughter is still struggling to get art classes which is why I am encouraging her to contact the advisor herself. Many of us have urged her to transfer, which at this point the daughter doesn’t want to do. Perhaps she will if Cad can’t help her break through the bureaucracy. As far as posting on the Cornell board, she was obviously asking on behalf of her child there. That’s not unusual for parents to do. And she has received PM’s, as I have PM’d her myself urging her to transfer and apologizing for the rudeness on this board. Cad feels let down, and her disappointment spills over into silly, ancillary complaints, which is also not unusual. To insist that she is an impostor or that her daughter doesn’t exist is easier than acknowledging that perhaps in this instance, AU might have an intrinsic problem with the fine art major. It doesn’t mean that it’s not a fantastic school for many kids.</p>