I admit I swear. And probably swear more now that my kids are grown and their conversation often includes swear words - nearly always in NOT an angry way.
Swearing is a release for me, also used in humor. I grew up with a father who swore some (the typical swear words, not the now common “F” word or “B” word). I don’t swear in public or at work in a meeting or anything like that! Not with someone I don’t know personally.
Is swearing a tool in your toolbox for anger management, getting a point across, in jest, etc.??? Does it offend you? Not at all?
Swearing does not offend me but I personally try not to use certain words. I grew up in a time when no one ever said the F word and now it’s everywhere- like wishing someone happy birthday!
I do not swear in public, but I do all the time by myself. I’ve warned my kids that if I develop dementia and the filters are removed they can expect a lot of swearing!
i grew up in the 70s with getting our mouths washed out with soap for dirty words. It seems so bizarre now to think about that!!! but i dont swear. and i didnt let my kids swear in the house.
but two things: every year i’d let the 4 of them have “bad word day” for like an hour. and they could use every thing as much as they wanted during that time. they all thought it was funny trying to shock me; i know they said whatever they wanted away from home.
and i also remember at the solar eclipse 2017 - we were in totality seeing stars at 2:30 in the afternoon – and my S20 was letting it roll . . . and i remember thinking – there is NOTHING he can say that can top what we are seeing. . . .nothing could top the magnificence of nature like that. go for it!
I don’t see it as a power but rather a weakness. I guess I see for what it is … vulgar. I don’t understand the purpose of it for myself or for others. For me, it means I’ve lost control. I’m using the words because I can’t verbalize my frustration, anger etc. in a constructive means so I just start being vulgar. For others they are either angry to the point they’ve lost control or just attempting to be vulgar and shock. I can’t say I’m offended by it, after all they’re just words, but when others to use vulgar language in front of me it affects my opinion of them. Especially when it seems unnecessary and the words have no meaning.
I think it’s funny when our adult son almost slips and substitutes a benign word for what was clearly his first/natural choice when he’s with us. I’ve only “overheard” him swear a few times among his peers, but he’s in the Army where I think how to swear properly is in the handbook. It’s probably a release from the extremely formal/codified way of working with and speaking to superiors all day at work.
Do you think you most always hear swearing in anger or lost of control? Because for me (and those around me) MOST often it is not. It’s just used to emphasize something, in humor or exclamation - or just another word of speech! Sometimes for anger, most often not.
Ditto. If it’s not done in anger or as an intimidation tool, it doesn’t bother me in the least to hear swearing. I certainly don’t assign judgments on the person’s character or integrity. Sheesh!
ok - the “we” means it was a threat for all of us, my brother was the only one who literally had his mouth washed with soap. I never did but sure got to watch him. It was a huge deterrent from swearing!
(and yes, spanked too. and i can remember at age 12 or 13 telling my dad he could spank me, but it wasnt going to change my mind . . . .and i was never spanked after that).
Honestly, my parents are wonderful, caring, loving people; they mentor others, help others, are involved with immigrants, low income neighbor kids, etc. Yet, as i look back to their child-raising theories in the 70s . . . it is so so so different than what parents have now.
** ok more memories this is starting: we had complete freedom as kids to run around. rode the city bus to my private school at age 7 with transfers alone. My (artist) dad thought it was hilarious when my bro and friend stripped me of my clothes and made me (?) go streaking down the street at age 8 in 1976. I won the “best streaker award” at the neighborhood olympics. Yet, we were taught respect for elders, were quiet at the table until addressed, rose from our seats when elders came in the room, called men and women sir and ma’am . . .
Not only did I get my mouth washed out with soap, my mom used to make sure she scraped the bar of soap on my teeth so the taste was harder to get out. Ah, the good ole days! IIRC, my soap punishment wasn’t for swearing, it was for lying.
I get tired of reading so many stories in the media where the authors use expletives. Seems like the authors are doing it because they’re not educated and professional enough to find other words to express themselves, and/or because they think swearing in the articles makes them edgy and cool.
Life is too short not to swear. It gets people’s attention, especially when they have their faces buried in their phones. I don’t swear at people out of anger(well, except for those stupid #$&@ing drivers that don’t put their left turn signal on at a light until it turns green), but I do punctuate my point occasionally with an F-bomb.
As a young lawyer in NYC and DC I was surrounded by swearing and never thought about it; in midlife I moved to a town where no one swears, at least not in the presence of women, so I no longer do either. It is jarring now when I watch a netflix show and there is so much profanity in it.
I really don’t know. If I say them that is usually the reason. Sudden pain can create such a response. I don’t use it for humor unless it’s part of a joke I’ve heard. Roy Kent in “Ted Lasso” is a hoot mostly because he is a parody of someone who over swears. It’s an example of using a word in manner that has no relation to it’s real meaning and it seems used mostly just to be vulgar and the reaction that gets.
When I was about 13 during a Boy Scout summer camp I decided I would start using “colorful euphamisms” as Spock would say. Unfortunately, I got so used to saying the words I used them during a skit for parents on parents day. I was quite shocked, horrified and embarrassed by what I had said. That pretty much cured me.
If I stub my toe badly or hit the delicate area on the elbow, you will certainly hear swearing from me.
Once my DH hit his small toe REALLY hard on the coffee table. Like, really really hard. He began hopping on one leg, holding the affronted foot, sayin “EFF! I EFFING hit my EFFING EFF!”
We both started laughing at the absurdity of it, and to this day, if you hit your foot hard against a piece of furniture you have hit your EFFING EFF!
IIRC, my soap punishment wasn’t for swearing, it was for lying.