@diglass You didn’t see gear in the bookstore!? I took so many pictures - there were some truly garish golf pants and an amazing array of socks!
S bought a Frost t-shirt at the bookstore, but he never received any swag in the mail. University of Chicago sent awesome stuff and he didn’t even apply there! LOL!
Can any of your kids withdraw from classes not needed for graduation?
I’ll sound a slight contrarian note here, and say that what I’ve advised my D to do is to really just stop sweating her grades, but to keep her academic muscles flexing, as getting into college is really just a step along the way (even if it is a significant task to complete), and not some bar you’ve pole vaulted over after which you just flop.
So, as the cliche goes, “no D’s, no F’s , no arrests,” but still take your academic work seriously, don’t disengage your brain, you’re not leaving academia next year. Take the opportunity to really learn from your academic teachers without thinking too much about your GPA or SAT scores.
D’s school requires a capstone project which is what they work on the last month or so of senior year. Part of the difference between high school and college is developing the maturity to look at such projects more as opportunities than requirements. Hey, you don’t have to earn a full-time living yet, the opportunity to explore a topic of interest to you for a month is something to enjoy! To just kinda do it and not to have to strive to satisfy a grading rubric, even better.
I’m not sweating the grades TOO much but since she is currently rocking one F and two C’s I am a bit. But it’s because she is being marked as a zero for quizzes not taken, tests not taken and homework not turned in. All should turn around within reason. And we looked into dropping French but it’s too late. She would get a failing grade. Live and learn.
I’m so grateful for this advice. My DD is a junior and it’s like pulling teeth to get her to go to school. (and it’s an Arts School!!) I just keep telling her (and her ballet brother) - just pass. She and her equally artsy friends have figured out exactly how many days they can miss (well, they miss the morning academic classes and go the afternoon for their Arts Classes). And she’s a JUNIOR! Dear God. We don’t live in the same town as her - so it’s difficult - plus she’s been genuinely sick for the last week so we shall see if the truant officer pays a visit. I just read that Esperanza Spalding dropped out of high school so I suspect that we aren’t alone in our kid’s distaste for non-musical endeavors - but then I meet those whose kids do dual enrollment with Julliard-Colombia, Harvard-NEC or whatever - and I feel a bit sad. But then I tell myself - every kid is different.
I am going to enquire at our DD’s Arts School about her lightening up her Spring load next year. I’m hopeful that given they are an Arts School they might understand. Great advice! Now - back to watching you all watch the postman and the inbox. I’m actually sort of joining you - although I know the date (April 7) when she finds out about the Women’s Jazz Program Scholarship at Berklee this summer. Crossing fingers and toes.
If you KNOW your kid is not ivy bound, they have little interest in their academic courses and you/they are ok with narrowing down some of their college choices, I highly recommend you lighten the load. The two most important factors for colleges is GPA and SAT/ACT. That is what’s typically used as first pass for admission and considered for Honors Programs and academic scholarship. The music programs only care about their audition and resume.
My child was a high performing student with her fair share of Honors and AP classes, but at the end of sophomore year we came to a crossroads. The balancing act between private lessons, gigs, competitions and coursework were beginning to create time conflicts. Ironically, a sports parent gave me some great advice. She said that the gpa remains important for admissions but for kids with special interests like sports or performing arts, the rigor becomes irrelevant with a vast majority of the schools. They want your child’s talent and they’d like to see an established pattern of prioritizing that talent.
Since my child was a year ahead with her math, science and foreign language requirement due to her 8th grade coursework, she satisfied all of them by the end of her sophomore year. We elected not to take anymore college prep math, science or language. She still took APs in courses in which she was interested and had several engaging electives, resulting in strong grades and more time for music. She also took a semester of physical fitness her junior and senior year which counted for a half year of gym each year. This enabled her to take extra electives at school. These options were not offered to us. We had to research state education regulations and review the options ourselves. Once informed, we worked with guidance to make it happen.
There may be some schools that she may not get accepted as a result. We are not holding our breath for USC. Her mediocre SAT scores may be her Achilles heel and I’m sure they’d be better had she taken calculus, but if she took calc I’m confident her GPA would have suffered. So far, she has been accepted to 7 schools and no rejections yet. She has even been accepted to Honors Programs with decent money.
Yes, if she changed her mind about music, she closed some doors on herself. This was the chance we were willing to take. This is one approach and it won’t work for everyone, but if it can help someone I wanted to share our experience.
@tripletmama I recommend it very much! My S, who is a stellar student and doing a double major at NU, took a very easy course load senior year. He had loaded up on AP Calc BC, Physics, and Chem during junior year so he didn’t even take a math or science senior year. And he knew he wanted a double major/degree. He had two academic classes, AP theory, orchestra, and soccer senior year.
D, who is a senior this year, also took a lighter load. A good student but not all straight A’s in all AP’s good. She did an online science over two summers because she knew she wanted to take it off during senior year. It’s worked out really well. She also has two dual credits which are hard enough (but nothing like AP), but they only meet two days a week, so it gives her more time. And she has one AP- Stats, because she’s good at math and she thinks she’ll do well enough on the exam to get credit for it. So she has three academic classes and three arts classes senior year.
It’s been wonderful having them reasonablly well-rested and engaged. Junior year is such a beating so I loved getting more time with them during senior year! And S has had no problem jumping into more serious academics at college after a more low key year.
As tripletmama said, every kid is different. I can understand the strategy of lightening up senior year. My kid went in the opposite direction but that was her choice. I just watched and bit my nails.The only concern I would have to easing up on senior year grades is the possibility that your student could end up transferring (and possibly not studying performance) and those senior grades/test scores would be important. It’s all a balancing act.
@momzhood - I absolutely agree with letting the student take the lead on this. For us, it worked, even for the son with academic aspirations. But if your kid is doing the typical burnout junior year, a lighter senior year can be a real gift.
I want to add, grades and course load/difficulty are two different things. I would absolutely sacrifice difficulty for grades. If you know you won’t keep up with a full range of APs during your audition season, take the classes you can manage more reasonably. An F is an F is an F.
Taking a lighter course load senior year is definitely a delicate balancing act. Both of my children had strong grades and test scores to begin with. They also felt strongly about maintaining those grades to gain scholarships. They both also had several credits from 8th grade so we had some wiggle room for senior year. Youngest DD decided that staying in honors chorus was important to her so graduating in Dec was not an option. FWIW- I have heard the director of a conservatory say that if they had two students with equal talent and only one spot left- they would probably take the one with the higher grades. They feel that the student who has shown that they can manage to keep their grades up and train will do better in a college setting.
Do the conservatories even look at their grades? I’ve heard that it’s a non-issue. Our daughter is only doing academic classes because it’s required by law. She has absolutely no interest in it. She was unable to take honors classes because she was double majoring in Classical and Jazz at her Arts School - they just didn’t fit in her schedule. APs are not anything she has any interest in. Maybe I’m crazy - but I’m OK with that - and also OK with it for her ballet brother.
I know there is talk about having a Plan B - but I’m fairly certain that my kids are very focused on their art (music and ballet). There just aren’t enough hours in the day for them to immerse themselves in their art and excel at academics. They go to school - and if they have time they do homework - but the rest of the time they are practicing or rehearsing - or socializing.
Ironically - I was always academically minded. It’s taken me some time to come to this zen state of mind. 
I don’t think of continued study of the liberal arts as a Plan B, but as a vital part of Plan A. Of course being a performing artist requires a huge dedication to the mastery of technique, which is what students this age are immersed in. But eventually that technique will be put in service of storytelling, engaging with society, and, ideally, changing the world.
To put it crudely, I wouldn’t want to attempt to dance Romeo and Juliet without having engaged with the play in a deep way. I couldn’t imagine being an effective jazz or blues artist without a grounding in the African American historical context in which those traditions were forged. Opera singers need an understanding of the grammatical structure and diction of at least three European languages. Just learning how to pronounce the words correctly isn’t enough.
Then there’s the question of being an informed citizen of the world. Not to get too political, but if the next generation does not develop and maintain at least a basic literacy in science, particularly environmental science, they may be too consumed in societal crises to have much time or many resources to make art in the first place.
Of course, college programs, even conservatory programs, in these disciplines worth their salt are going to make sure their students are exposed to those areas in the humanities and sciences that are most vital to their students’ particular artistic areas of concentration. And formal academic classes are not at all the only way to develop those areas of knowledge. My D gets a mini lesson in the anatomy and physiology of the vocal folds and lungs at every voice lesson (she also decided to take anatomy as her science elective senior year, which I don’t doubt will be useful to her as a performer dependent on her body as her instrument).
This post is sounding too much like a lecture, but the basic point is that I think the highest level artists engage with the world in an informed way, and the idea that studying music/dance/theater and staying open to learning as much as you can (within reason, of course) about history/literature/language/politics/science is an either/or proposition is to be avoided.
Even elite academic schools like the Ivies understand and value applicants who have prioritized music and other arts.
@NYCMusicDad I agree wholeheartedly with your sentiments (my D did not even look at stand alone conservatories for these very reasons.) And to everyone else above ^ I support your (and your child’s) decisions to back off academically Senior year. There is definitely not a one size fits all solution, and there are MANY considerations (including knowing your child, academic rigor, finances…yes, money, etc…) that factor in to these choices.
@NYCMusicDad - your D will be very well-positioned to be successful in VP in college with her intellectual curiosity. And I have no disagreement about becoming an “informed citizen”. It’s why my kid got a university degree as I wanted her to have college-level classes in math, science and the arts. Her bachelors degree was her Plan B.
However, there are different approaches to success in the “performance” portion. While an intellectual approach is encouraged particularly in college, it is not the creative approach used by all performers. Yes, you do need to know the basics, the history etc. But honestly my kid would “dance Romeo and Juliet without engaging deeply”. The need to engage deeply was “forced” on her in college (and after leaving, it has lightened)…and she resisted it to a degree…to her benefit and sometimes not. Fortunately, she has had teachers who took the time to work with her on this…and support her sometimes lack of intellectual approach to work (note that lack of intellectual approach does not equal lack of academic success - my D graduated with honors). My D stated performing at a young age and followed the action/emotions and MUSIC when performing. She was too young to be intellectual on stage. She finds “thinking” too much can get in the way of a more authentic experience on stage for her. And there are acting styles that encourage the intellectual side and others that do not. My D has explained to her teachers that when young she watched cartoons in a foreign language (her dad is foreign) and she could tell what was going on by the music, sounds and action. Same with her Saturday language school, she could always laugh at the appropriate moments…due to cues in the environment, not understanding the language. It’s just a different approach. She tends to do better with an intuitive approach (and her UG school did award her with an artistic scholarship while discouraging her creativity…lol).
I comment on this because I want to leave some “space” for people who approach performing more intuitively…as in college they may/will brush up against the “intellectualization” of performance. My D is more interesting in sharing the emotions/beauty of music than engaging in the topic of the opera. Both approaches are fine…just different. I think it is something all students need to go through…and my D certainly need to up her game and did learn from it…still she doesn’t miss that side of things…and is finding “after college” to be more liberating. Just another “thing” that can happen in college.
I always wonder how this plays out in jazz…a from of art that can be very intellectual and completely intuitive/collaborative. Maybe it’s a struggle that all young artists have to go through.
Hey, my kid is applying to BM programs at music schools, I am not denigrating an intense focus on music! I just think sometimes young folks make a false dichotomy, thinking that other types of knowledge and experience are something separate and apart from their artistry, when in reality everything you are, everything you know, goes into it. It’s a mindset I’m advocating, not any particular path or curriculum.
I was just going to comment along the same lines @NYCMusicDad. I think intellect and intuition are a false dichotomy Also, I believe conservatories do look at academics to some extent - especially schools like Eastman, Frost and Oberlin where the university standards are high. But it’s a balancing act as you all are pointing out, especially when you consider the effect of stress/little sleep on health too!
These kids work hard. Senior year is a victory tour! D18 cut it down to two APs and picked up “Advanced Guitar” and “Show Choir” to have some relaxing classes. Winds up joining a band and playing at the Stone Pony and the show choir is singing backup for Foreigner next week. Kids need fun stuff!
“I Want to Know What Love Is,” possibly?
It’s all very student-specific. Getting into these highly competitive programs was just the first hurdle for my musician–and yes, I think that probably could/would have happened had he taken a much lighter senior load or graduated early. But he needed big-time merit dollars to then be able to attend them, because each of his targeted programs was well out of his price range. His offers materialized in interesting combinations of talent merit money and academic merit money. I truly don’t think he’d have landed the generous scholarships he did without the academically-intense load he took all the way through. There’s no question that his academics set him apart from some other music candidates and opened doors to the otherwise unaffordable. That said, his grades remained consistent/didn’t drop during audition season, and he did manage to have plenty of senior fun, too. 
It’s a very individual decision, and hopefully they know themselves well enough by senior year to make the wisest and most well-informed choices possible.