I’d be inclined to wait until I knew what they are offering. An email reply saying “this is my first choice and I hope the financials work out” would let them know you are serious. Wednesday seems like forever. But then you will know what you have to work with and can negotiate from there.
@NYsaxmom I’m inclined to agree with @BassTheatreMom and @NYCMusicDad on this. Absolutely be 100% honest and as straightforward as possible; this is the time. Definitely tell them it’s the #1 choice and D will commit immediately if the financials are right. Without question be specific with details of other admission offers and exact financials. And here’s where I disagree somewhat with @BassTheatreMom: if another institution is NOT considered quite a peer institution, but gave an offer that D may need (or choose) to accept if the money offers at loftier schools are not enough, I would certainly offer up that information now. Reality is reality. Remember, at some schools, once they’ve offered merit money to one student, it certainly isn’t available to another student until student 1 declines officially (which may not be until May 1…too late for D to retain the full scholarship deal a term another school), and some departments don’t automatically get that money back. For lots of reasons, colleges want to admit mostly students who will commit; yield being a major reason. And in the arts, ALL of these talented kids are getting multiple big offers. It is an EXCELLENT place to be in for both college and student to “love” and “choose” each other early. It makes it easier for schools to offer money where it will count, and makes studio placement simpler, etc. Just one note that i would want written (email is fine) confirmation of studio placement (maybe there is only one clarinet Professor, lol)…this is a big deciding factor in VP programs, and for my D this was officially offered without asking (the email came directly from Conservatory admissions after much communication and subsequent arrangements with the chosen primary teacher, and was also immediately available in her portal as soon as the deal had been made). I’m very excited for your D!
I think maybe BearHouse’s approach is correct. And I apologize to all for the crudeness of the comparison of a Music education to a Hyundai, it’s obviously a much more multidemensional decision with music school. I was only referring to the “getting down to brass tacks about finances” part of the transaction. And committing to a school is at least in part a transaction, a significant financial one.
“If the financial package is sufficient to make your school affordable for my family, I will enroll.” Is how I’d put it. Use all positives, no negatives.
@NYCMusicDad , I thought you were right on with your Hyundai comment the first time, lol! This can all be done very respectfully, however this is the business part of the transaction; and your D, @NYsaxmom, is the consumer. She has great choices, and you have a budget (I assume). The email pretty clearly asks what you need to make it work, no? It’s okay to tell them. Be honest about how much you do rather have the Hyundai than the Kia or Ford, but that price may force you to drive a second option (IF this is true). You may get a response like…”we’ll have to wait until Financial package she come out on Wednesday…), and that’s ok. I WOULD NOT suggest this kind of communication at this point in most cases, and I am certainly no expert! But they reached out to tell your D she is their choice, and it makes sense to me for her to tell them they are her choice, too… I don’t think it’s necessary to say “I need exactly this much”… talking about the other offers will likely be enough in this case (as they are full tuition plus).
@NYCMusicDad in business in my 30s I remember noticing I made bad decisions sometimes. I was curious as to why. It was mainly in personnel matters (which can be emotional). I started using more data in my decision making and it would pick up hidden biases on my part. I was sometimes surprised but what I would see in the data vs how I perceived things day to day in the office. People can fool you (at least me…and I thought I was pretty perceptive).
My D never agreed to do this (which was fine) but I made a list on a spreadsheet and gave different items a factor of 3 for maybe something important like teacher, 2 for an item a step down but still important like performance opps and 1 for other items like selectivity, environment, curriculum, affordability ( probs a 2), scholarship etc. then I gave everything a score from 1 to 10. You can personalize the list and move the numbers/factors around. I lined the schools up next to each other and had a final score for each. It wasn’t meant to make the decision as much as to find any bias and have a way of looking at all criteria for each school. It made me ask questions about thoughts I had about schools. How could one school (I liked) score so similar to another (that I was lukewarm about)? I noted that I had a bias toward the selectivity of the school (one of my criteria). When that bias was “controlled” by numbers it made it more apparent. Maybe that bias was OK or maybe not. Nevertheless it was interesting, helpful exercise for me. It didn’t answer the question but made me look at schools in a more open manner.
My D went with gut instinct which in her case was probs right (since my background research allowed my to support her gut).
@NYCMusicDad I loved your Hyundai analogy (plus my husband sells cars, albeit not Hynudais but the connection isn’t there). You made me smile
@dramasopranomom you make so many great points. I too would never broach this now, had he not reached out to my D, and with the offer of help it begs for a reply and an honest one. My daughter’s private teacher, plus a friend who coaches students on applying to college and myself have been working on an appropriate reply and my daughter will sent it when she appears from her cave sometime this evening. She’s spent the weekend readying her favorite books and I haven’t had the heart to disturb her!! She’s earned the break
I will let you all know if it a successful effort or if it would’ve been better for her to play possum
I wholeheartedly agree with BearHouse. I think a good response would simply be, “Thank you so much, this is definitely my first choice and I hope to attend. But I have to see if the financial end of things works out to make it possible.”
I would not mention any offers from other schools. I don’t think bargaining really works like that. Wait for the professor to ask for specifics, if he or she wants them.
One point to mention about the unpredictable nature of results discussed awhile back. I think some of the safeties will reject based on talent good enough to indicate the applicant will probably go elsewhere 
@NYsaxmom Best wishes with your response. Please keep us posted!
@bridgenail I love your method! My daughter has kept a journal since her first college visit. She has various categories that she rates each school on 1-10. Throughout the audition process she has referred back to her journal and some of the same types of questions have come up. We haven’t really thought about tallying the total for each school. That could prove interesting if she has trouble making a final decision. Thank you for sharing.
My favoite part of her journal is when we finally sit down for dinner or coffee the next morning and she discusses her thoughts about each category as she writes. We review our experience together good or bad. It has turned into great bonding time and memories we will have forever.
Well we are down to 3 schools at the moment: Miami-Frost, FSU, and USC-Thornton (still swooning from that one!). Furman may make a run back into it if they increase their scholarship. Loyola-NO is the most affordable after FSU, and could still come back into play. Now it will come down to the teacher and general fit. We have two trips coming up to FSU, one for a lesson with a tenor professor and one for another scholarship weekend. We will find out this week if USC will give him enough merit money to make it affordable for us. I suspect S18 is not going to go to late April before making a decision. Just like audition fatigue set in, decision fatigue will probably cause him to want to pull the trigger. So we need to hustle and get him all the info he needs to make his decision soon.
We are in the same boat @vistajay. D got a decent offer from New School this morning. Nothing from NEC still but as I’d mentioned, I’m thinking that will be a bust. Waiting to get everything in and will start to look at the numbers. It could very easily be late April for us as well.
Yay for the New School admit, @SpartanDrew ! Your D is racking up the choices!
There was some talk a page or two back about whether one would apply to less, or more, schools, knowing what we do now with admits in hand. With 11 applications, there are certainly some schools that S18 has dropped from consideration, or did not even finish submitting all required materials for a music admit. But I do not think we would do anything differently. Several were relative safeties, or perceived easier music admits, that we needed to include in case other choices did not pan out. One was a pure academic safety with an auto full tuition scholarship and no voice program, but hey that application was free and we never spent money to visit so no big deal. Each other application, visit and audition served a role in educating S18 and us as we navigated the music admission process for the first time, helped S18 decide what he wanted, and honed his audition skills. So no regrets here.
@SpartanDrew congrats on New School… nice choices but all so different.
@vistajay I feel you on the potential “discussion fatigue”. Hoping for all of us that it will be relatively straight forward but who knows!
Spent yesterday fretting over the email back to #1 choice. Spoke with 3 current and previous music teachers, one a college prof, plus a friend who helps students with college applications, and of course all the suggestions on here, and came up with a good response. D tweaked it today and I must admit hers was the best! So now the waiting game again!
Good luck to everyone as we approach the last lap
Well…after having a long talk with D when I was out of town this weekend trying to prepare her for bad news from NEC, I hopped an early morning flight home and came home to a mailbox full of giant envelopes! And one big yellow envelope from NEC that’s says “Brava” on the front of it!!! Good grief she got in! Waiting for her to come home from school to open it!
Wow @SpartanDrew ! Crazy great news! Sounds like a fun day in your household.
I, too, had prepared my S for bad news from NEC. It wasn’t his best audition. Today, a big yellow envelope with “Bravo” on the front. Wow…how do you ever know?? (Even on the envelopes, it’s very cool how they use “Brava” for the females and “Bravo” for the guys.)
Haha sorry @willrogers my D just corrected me, the envelope she got also says Bravo! I guess I was too excited to look closely. She is home now and opened it and it said “financial and award information will be sent later via email”. What??? COME ON!!! Did yours say the same? I hope that doesn’t mean it’s a big goose egg…
Final college decision just came via email with an admission to Western Mich jazz studies so D is 8 for 8! Time to start focusing on her top 3. She honestly does NOT know where she wants to go. We need an offer from NEC to be able to really start honing in on affordability and fit. She had things she loves about all 3 of her top choices. I hope she can get some clarity soon because I’m going a little nuts…
Onto April and the last part of this thread, The Tours, The Journey and THE DECISIONS. :-((
OMG @SpartanDrew that is AMAZING!!! So happy for you. Time to break out that spreadsheet (I may have to borrow your version as mine is very much a kindergarten version :))
Only thing in our mailbox today was bills and junk, but there’s always tomorrow!!
That’s funny @SpartanDrew about the “Bravo” – I thought that was a lot of attention to detail on the part of NEC. Same wait for the email about $.
Well, bravissimo for the guys and bravissima for the gals! Congrats to all these amazing kids. I am sure you all have an amazing niche of options. I sure hope you all the best of luck and wisdom to make the right decision. For those that have been accepted to Oberlin and would like to know more details of the school by a present student parent, feel free to PM me.