Less meals out, very few vacations, driving our cars to death (think 200K+ miles on both) - thats what we’ve done.
Develop a good rapport if you can with child’s advisor/dorm head/other adults attached to the dorm and make it clear that you would not find it desirable for your son to spend his time that way. In hindsight, I wish I had been more vocal when my kids had a few advisors I found too hands off. Fine line to balance of course - don’t want to be that PITA parent.
4} There’s a reason why prep school guys are shown with the floppy hair look. Haircuts happened on breaks/long weekends. Better that than the time they gave each other buzz cuts in the dorm with clippers. Was not pretty.
That tone is usually reserved for family. How lucky for us. Kids lose their temper sometimes, though. They become like siblings and they cut each other some slack. Boys are actually usually good about letting things blow up and then patching things up quickly. Girls can be a different story…
@payn4ward - Is it bus, train, or airline travel? In general, if he looks older than his age, I would say not to worry about it too much. Most don’t have issues. If there are connections involved, winter weather can some times create havoc with the best laid plans, however.
is easy for boys – you can always tell which boys have been home recently, as they’re the only ones with haircuts. (although my son’s school does have someone come in to cut hair every now and again on campus).
The girl version of that worry is whether my daughter is going to decide a month into school that she hates all of her clothes and needs new ones. Though come to think of it, I guess I’d rather have that happen than have her be completely clueless as I was – it took me a solid year and a half to figure out that I was dressed like a loser, and by that time I was about to graduate so it was too late to do anything about it (other than borrow my friends’ clothes to wear pretty much every day of senior spring).
@doschicos and @payn4ward --I just booked Southwest for my daughter to go to a leadership camp in DC. She will be 13; travelers that age on Southwest airline can travel alone. She is traveling with a friend. Maybe each airline has their own rules? But of course getting to and from the West Coast to CT is a great worry of mine as well! Can’t believe I forgot that one–ha ha–probably would actually rank it at Worry #2.5!
@itcannotbetrue Yes, on Southwest and JetBlue, 13 yr olds can easily fly solo. Avoid AA, Delta, United, and so on for their age-15-up rule, hassle, and UM fees till they turn, of course, 15.
Money worries… money money money… recently was very worried that boarding life ( an island of self absorbed teenagers) was taking the charm out of my empathetic, polite and considerate kid, I hadn’t really considered she might change!!.. but have released that fear… I think it’s good to watch for it, but not a real problem. Money worries, blech. Super blech.
Thanks to Choatie Mom, who started this thread two years ago. I hope you stick around to impart your sage wisdom even after your son goes to college!
So, it is time to resurrect it, OR start paying for expensive therapy which of course we can’t afford since we will be paying for BS, lol.
So. . . I will start. Gone are the worries of IF he will go. . he IS going!
Now onto the other worries. Here is the abridged version; please chime in so that I am not left alone to worry. . . and then worry about how I looked on this forum to other non-worriers
Top Five Worries
How in the world will be continue to pay for this glorious experience, short of both of us working weekend and night jobs?
How will we pay for our daughter, should she choose the same path next year? (Yes NEXT year. . . ) And If we apply for financial aid, will they even give it to us if we are FP this year?
Who will stop him from simply holing up in his room and playing computer games with his old friends instead of going out and making new friends?
Who will tell him that he needs a haircut? (I realize that this is a softball worry!)
Will he make friends if he uses that tone that we get here at home with his dorm mates?
No need to actually answer my worries (of course I would be grateful if someone DOES happen to have insight). . .
@jdewey, Money is the common worrying thread. We actually enrolled in Financial Peace University due to new boarding school expenses. Sort of hard to sit in class with others that are deeply in debt, out of work, etc. and tell our classmates that we are there so that we can manage paying for BS (talk about sounding obnoxious!) The class has made us realize how being frugal and not in debt through the years has enabled us to be able to (hopefully!) pay for our DS’ BS adventure.
Needless to say, we will not be sharing WHY we are there with our classmates…
P.s., glad the personality change for your BS kid is not your front and center worry. That got me thinking… Uh oh, another worry!
Now that the decision has been made, I’m constantly weepy. Or, constantly on the verge of throwing up. I’m worried that I won’t stop crying and will get dehydrated. Or, I’ll throw up in public and embarrass the kids.
No, I don’t cry in front of child who is leaving. I know deep down that he has made the right choice and I am happy for him, but, holy cow, I don’t want my baby to leave.
Haircuts happened on breaks/long weekends. Better that than the time they gave each other buzz cuts in the dorm with clippers. Was not pretty.
Only direct flights will be taken.