Thinking Twice About Rice

Parents Social Lounge
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<p>(Disclaimer: The title is only marginally related to my question. Sorry. But I thought it was clever. And hopefully original)</p>

<p>**I posted this in the Rice forum as well, but since I'm very partial to parental advice, I thought maybe someone here could help me too. Thanks!</p>

<p>I apologize if this appears trite or childish, this is my first post, although I've been a frequent lurker (or alternately, researcher) on college confidential. I'm an early decision admit to Rice, and up until this month I've been annoyingly ecstatic and perhaps even promotional of my future college! However, in the past months I've been having a few doubts that mainly stem from the fact, that, due to a weird educational background, I'll only be sixteen years old when I step on campus this coming fall. I admit I am enticed by the plethora of opportunities presented to me at Rice, however, at the same time, I'm a little worried. I've never thought myself as extremely mature, even for my age, and the adventure that I thrive on has rarely taken me out of my hometown (in Washington state). Despite how it sounds like over the phone, I'm extremely attached to both my family and my close circle of friends here, many of whom I have known since middle school. I had always planned to go to some small (and relatively unknown) LAC, but my family encouraged me to go for Rice, my biggest reach school, where we felt I could have university-level resources but still maintain the security of a small student body (I'm actually starting to find the size of the Rice student body too big!) I consider myself fairly adaptable (it comes with being human, according to Darwin), so I know I will be able to survive even in this colossal college conversion, but my question is: can I not only survive Rice, but thrive there? To treasure my experience, to gain a new home, to spend each day in the Houston sun with no regrets? </p>

<p>I know it's a hard question to answer, so here are a few random facts that didn't quite fit into my monologue:
* I actually spent a month away from home over the summer at Mt Holyoke College (all the way on the East Coast) doing math research. Independence, intellectual stimulation, and meeting some of the most amazing people... ever, came at the cost of my comfort zone, but I wouldn't trade that time for the world. I completely loved it.
* Reading college confidential, I have come to see a heavy pro-gap-year contingent. I would love to take a gap year. I would also love to be the first woman to Mars... right now. I have neither the resources or the parental approval for either. A gap year is pretty much a lost cause for me -- so is another year in high school. So basically my only other option is Rice (which is actually the same option).
* I'm one of those lame seniors who prefer shopping and going to the library and working out rather than partying. Actually, in my entire life, I've gone to... one party. Where I drank diet coke. Basically, I'm not into partying at all. I also like meeting people slowly. It's not that I don't like meeting lots of people at once, it just really stresses me out and hurts my head to remember all their names (haha).
* I did visit Rice during Owl Weekend, and like a few people here, I was a little annoyed by the presence of drinking/partying. I also felt like something was missing like professors who could speak English (Actually, I suspect I just sat in on the worst class on campus.... ever). However, there were things that I loved about Rice (mainly the other Owls, Houston, and the pretty campus!) that made me remember that rarely can conclusions be drawn from a single campus visit. So I'm still a big Rice fan. :)
* Rice has been unbelievably generous and kind to me throughout the process (I was admitted as math/physics seemingly undeserved half-scholarship as well as this Century Scholar research thing -- I am very passionate about research and my parents were passionate about the stipend.... jk), however, I didn't feel the same level of LAC-nurture and personal attention that I got from... actual LACs. I like familial units. Also mentors/parental people. Are there people like that at Rice? </p>

<p>Going over this entry, I realized that it is disturbingly lengthy, being the product of a diet coke induced over-thinking. Sorry :) If anyone could address any of these concerns for me, I'd be really, really grateful. Thanks!</p>

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<p>I wish you could come up with a gap year plan. I was also very young when I started college, not quite 17 1/2 (which sounds old compared to your 16!) I wish I had waited; I think I would have gotten a lot more out of the college experience had I been older.</p>

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<p>I'm not a parent, but I'll take a crack (and I know who you are, from that other website :)). You are obviously feeling jittery about the prospect of going off to college, probably somewhat because of your age and because of ED second guessing. That's pretty normal, in my opinion, and while I certainly can't promise that you will be absolutely, 100% happy at Rice, I think that from everything you have said, you will probably be fine. Why?</p>

<p>Because no school is perfect. There are a few things that you didn't like about Rice, and that's normal--that's every school, even very good fits. One class really doesn't tell you a lot about the academics/professors in general--except that you want to write down that Professor's name and avoid him/her! I'm not a Rice expert--but I am a big advocate, vis a vis my Father, who received his MArch from Rice--but I have not heard of Rice as having an abundance of "bad" professors, and I think that it is important to remember that at every school, even that teeny tiny LAC, will have their fair share of thickly accented professors. As far as the drinking thing, I understand how you feel--as a fellow non-partier, even a moderate amount of drinking can feel uncomfortable. But Rice is hardly party school central, I imagine, and there are always--even at heavy partying schools--plenty of other non-drinkers and non-drinking focused activities. </p>

<p>As far as "family" and "nurture", doesn't Rice have a Residential College system? I would think that that along with getting involved outside of class and being/staying proactive with your professors would go a long way to providing that support network that you desire. You may have to work a little harder than at a small LAC, but at the same time, that constant LAC attention could be stifling, and Rice is not UIUC or a similarly giant school--the level of personal attention will still be pretty good, I would think. </p>

<p>I can't add super specific stuff about Rice (hopefully the nice Rice forum will help you out there), but I think that your concerns are normal but very manageable. If you go to Rice with the right attitude--that you are going to seek out the support that you desire and are going to be in control of your own academic destiny--you are very likely to be happy there. And of course, though it may be very unappealing, if push comes to shove and you are desperately unhappy at Rice, you can always transfer away--you are not shackled to Rice no matter what. But I think that you will be fine.</p>

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<p>i'm not a parent either... but i will say that drinking is a part of EVERY college. it's inescapable... i could go into the way American society treats alcohol and blah blah (and pm me if you'd like to hear :-) )... but you're going to have to deal with that party scene. I personally couldn't imagine handling freshmen year of college at 16. Ha, I was a mess sophmore year of highschool! And it is a fact that at every college, drugs, sex, and booze will all be present. But, that being said, they don't have to be a part of your experience. Part of the challenge for you will be to find a group of friends who share many common interests, one of them being a disinterest in partying, at least in the traditional sense of the word. I think you can do it. They wouldn't have let you in if they didn't think so. But it will be a tough transition. All freshmen years have transition periods. Go in knowing what you need to make yourself happy and you will find it</p>

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<p>I'm not a parent, but I'm quite familiar with Rice (worked there this summer in a research program, have a bunch of friends that go there, used to spend tons of time on the campus). The students at Rice are, on average, the nicest students I met in all of my college visits, and the few classes that I've sat in on were all quite good- you must have just gotten a bad professor. I sugest Introduction to World Religion or somesuch- large lecture, but amazing professor.</p>

<p>I'm no partier, and I've always been able to find things to do on campus. Earlier this year when I spent the night with a friend, we baked brownies and made a midnight run to get more food; during Owl Weekend, I was able to get a group of 4 or 5 people to go to a classical music concert, and I spent the rest of the time doing non-partying things- improv show, a play, laying around in the hammocks on campus and messing with the squirrels. This summer I took swing lessons which were cheap and a lot of fun. My point is that there is plenty to do, you just have to find some people who don't spend all their time drinking (they definitely exist!) and you'll be fine.</p>

<p>Everyone is a bit nervous at the beginning of the year, and it will take time until you feel like you have close friends, but everyone is in that situation. You might want to register for a facebook account with your Rice email address early in the summer, so you can get to know some people that way. A group of freshmen at my school had weekly chats on AIM to get to know each other, which helped me alot during the craziness of orientation, because I felt like I already knew some people and had some people to hang out with. A few weeks before school started, a group of poeple living near me and going to the same school together met each other for ice cream. That might not be feasible for you- I don't know how many Rice students there are in Washington- but there are ways to get to know people before you set foot on campus. Also, Rice does the most amazing job of pairing roommates- almost everyone I know is best friends with theirs- so you should have a pleasant experience there. I'm sure you'll be fine!</p>

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<p>Cheshire,</p>

<p>You sound pretty mature actually. (Maybe I was just impressed with you being partial to parental advice.)</p>

<p>Your concerns are serious, but I think you will have a good time. I went to MIT when I was just barely 17, and I made a lot more mistakes than you are about to make.</p>

<p>You are going to have a great time at Rice because it's going to be like that summer at Mt Holyoke, only more so. You are going to learn at a pace that is so much better than highschool, with other people that like to learn the same things. Just go to class, keep up with problem sets, and you will be on top of your school work.</p>

<p>It's good that you don't drink. Stick to your gut feelings on that one. You'll find lots of other people who don't drink. Join some clubs or a team so that you have friends and activities that don't push you into the party scene.</p>

<p>Don't get involved romantically your first semester. Make friends and let the friendships develop. It's tempting to go for the romance thing because you'll miss your close connections at home, and quick intimacy feels like a replacement. Resist the impulse.</p>

<p>Use the website "rate my professors" to find good teachers. On the other hand, don't necessarily avoid professors with accents. I was so bad at accents when I was 17 (I grew up for 17 years on Long Island) that I could barely understand people from upstate New York, let alone people from England, Germany or China. But try to get over it, these people have a lot to share if you can get past the accent barrier.</p>

<p>Here's the main reason I think you'll do great at Rice: you're nervous. You'd have to be an idiot not to be nervous; it's a big change. So I think you're pretty smart and mature for thinking it over carefully. The poster above had some good suggestions for connecting with other students.</p>

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<p>I went to college at age 16 and it was no problem at all to fit in, and to find kids with similar interests. No one could really tell my age unless they asked, in any case -- that is, a 16 year old girl really doesn't look much different than an 18 year old, and to the extent that you think you look "young" you can choose a somewhat more mature-looking hairstyle or clothing to compensate. (I didn't -- I was quite happy to show up on my campus in jeans & sneakers, with my long hair in pig tails).</p>

<p>My d. has a good friend at Rice who seems really happy there. I think you will find it to be a good campus for your needs. You are just having the normal pre-college jitters -- don't worry, the 18 year olds are feeling the same way.</p>

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<p>I went to college at 16 1/2 and it worked out well. At times, I did feel much younger than my classmates, but that feeling seemed to decrease with each year. Suggestion: contact the housing department (or have a parent do this for you) and express your concerns as a 16 year old. Ask them to take care when selecting your roommate(s). Some colleges really take personality and style into consideration and other schools are pretty random. I don't know anything about Rice, so a personal call from you or your parent would be in order. </p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

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<p>Do you know yet which Res college you are in? You might want to contact the Masters and get to "know" them, and/or the RA's before freshman orientation ("O Week" ). However, in all honesty, you probably won't need that. O week is an incredible experience,and you will have an instant circle of friends/family. The school does an incredible job of matching roommates and getting the fresmen (of all ages) acclamated. The easy access to the Masters, who are like parents, and the RA's who are like big brothers/sisters, will make a big difference. You will easily adjust to your new Rice "family". Cograts, and go Owls!</p>

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<p>My D didn't go to Rice, but..She started college at not quite 18 and there were LOTS of kids younger than she was. One of the folks the same age was a junior. Plus, you're female. As another thread here says, females tend to be more mature than males--or at least some of us think so. The guys two years older than you are, IMO, at just about the same maturity level. I''d be more concerned if you were male. (And, yes, I know, I'm making lots of assumptions. Still, in my experience, they are usually correct.)</p>

<p>Just don't make a big deal out of being 16. Don't bring it up yourself. Don't give it as the reason you don't want to drink.</p>

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<p>When you are signing up for courses try to get advice from other students about who is good and bad. That said, I remember going to the first lecture in Architectural History in college taught by a prof with a thick Austrian accent. I barely understood a word he said, but with a week or two I understood him fine. He ended up being my favorite professor. I took every course he taught and wrote my undergrad thesis with him. I think Rice's residential college system will make settling in relatively painless. Jonri is right, you don't need to tell anyone how old you are nor use it as an excuse for not drinking. Anyone who doesn't respect a "No thanks" doesn't need to be a friend.</p>

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<p>D's friend is a soph at Rice in the pre-med/Baylor program, so he has mentors and advisors behind him all the time. Since you have some merit awards, there will be mentors and/or advisors to help you along the way. His first year, he went home every weekend because of the noise from the partying in his dorm. This year, after having made like-minded friends, he is in a quiet dorm (with a studious roommate), and can stay and study on campus. So there will be a group for you, as there will be for the partiers. Join some EC's and you will meet people where they can let their hair down so you can really find out about them. And even if someone parties, that doesn't mean they can't be an acquaintance and you can still be friends in the dorm, just don't do joint activities in the evening.</p>

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<p>Wow, you sure write well, Cat. I know why Rice is throwing money at you.</p>

<p>When my S2 accepted his offer, he was more than a little sad that he wouldn't get to go to two of the other schools on his list--more for the opportunity of living in those cities than anything else. Well, maybe the opportunity of going to a rah-rah football niversity. He thought he might like a bit of that.</p>

<p>In other words, it is tough to get all experiences into one lifetime. Looking for challenges, I've made a number of very drastic moves in my lifetime. Each time I do it, I wonder if I'll regret leaving such and such behind. Usually it turns out that I've underestimated the glory of the new place/job/school--by a factor of ten or more.</p>

<p>However, I also try to make sure I will get a taste of whatever it is I think I need. If you think a year on the East Coast would be the next best thing to heaven--then don't go abroad--go to Boston for a semester. All things are possible to those who plan and persuade. Says me.</p>

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<p>Cheshire - It's interesting that there are several of us on this thread who went to college at 16. Like the others, I can identify with all of your concerns. I went 350 miles away - not as far as your trip, but far enough that I didn't come home for weekends. What I found was that my college experience was especially powerful, because it was so much a part of my upbringing and maturation into a young adult rather than the first experience of young adulthood. That said, Rice would have to be one of the best possible places for someone in your (our?) shoes - an already small university, broken into even smaller and more intimate residential units, which features quality campus engagement in addition to the ubiquitous alcohol-based partying (and yes, it is ubiquitous). If you like Mt. Holyoke for a month, you'll probably be enthralled with four years at Rice.</p>

<p>Last fall, my daughter (17 at the time) started college a week after comiong back from a service learning program abroad that was way too short. She was starting the college experience of her dreams, mourning over the friends left overseas and upset that she hadn't arranged a gap year. As you can guess, the last eight months have been the peak experience of her life, and all that was a concern last fall has evaporated. I hear a lot of my father-daughter conversations from last fall in your post, and I'm enjoying thinking about what a life-altering an experience you're about to embark upon.</p>

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<p>I have a friend whose son went to Rice at 17. He was very mature in some ways -- well traveled, well read, articulate, at ease with adults. In other ways was very immature as far as social relationships with same age peers. The residential set-up there was wonderful for him. The way his mother explained it to me was that every one in the "house" is included in the group. There are meetings, socials, and other activities. He became very close with many people from his residential college. I have no first hand knowledge--but it sounds very nurturing and warm.</p>

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<p>You are gonna be perfect at Rice! Take that "gap year" as a semester or two on a study overseas program. Take an extra year to double major or change majors a couple of times!! And if anybody should ask your age, tell em you're 17 - next topic... (The dumb insurance companies tell me I am a year older than my drivers license says anyway.) </p>

<p>I have S finishing 2nd year at Wabash in Indiana. Loves it!!! D is graduating HS on May24. Hoping to get waitlist call form smaller, but looks like will be in BioChem at UT Austin. Dont even talk to me about BIG...</p>