Those of you with boys that dance

<p>I spend most of my time on the MT forum. My son went back and forth between majoring in dance or MT, he chose MT but definitely wants a program with strong dance emphasis anyway...one of his dances coaches sent me this. I wanted to share because I loved it so much. </p>

<p>What I Won’t Tell You About My Ballet Dancing Son
by Ashleigh Baker</p>

<p>When you ask him about sports, he’ll raise his blue eyes to mine and press his lips together. I’ll nod to assure him it’s safe, he’s okay, this isn’t the school lunch table where the kids can taunt.
“I dance,” he’ll say. “Ballet. This year I’m doing hip hop and tap and jazz, too, but ballet is my favorite.”
Try as you might, progressive thinker that you are, modern and open-minded for all the decades you carry, your eyebrows will move up a quarter of an inch.
“Oh!” You’ll tilt your head and hopefully you’ll smile. For a heartbeat you’ll spin through a lexicon of words and phrases, seeking the correct positive acknowledgment.
And I’ll hold my breath as your eyes meet mine over his shaggy blonde head of hair, a wordless prayer as we wait for the moment of reaction. What does one say to a seven year old boy who is built for carrying a football but wears ballet shoes?</p>

<p>Will you be the one who nods, intrigued, silently assuming his parents must be dancers, or that we’ve exploited our child in an attempt at our own anti-sexism statement?
Or perhaps you’ll be the one who asks incredulously what his dad thinks of him doing ballet, because what dad would be okay with a son who dances?
Maybe you’re the family friend who repeatedly assures him it’s acceptable to enjoy ballet – after all, NFL players have been known to take a few ballet lessons it will be valuable when he plays real sports in a few years.
What if you’re the man who scoffs in the face of my little boy’s uncle, declaring loudly that you would “beat that boy’s ass” to cure him of whatever it is that makes him want to dance?
You could be the distant relative who eyes him curiously at gatherings, making frequent mention of the need for masculinity and “boyish” pursuits, taking care he doesn’t accidentally grab the pink piece of cake because, “What are you, a girl?!” followed by a quick inhale and, “So Troy, are you still doing that ballet thing? How’s that working for you? You have any girlfriends there yet?”
You might even be the one who glances over your shoulder, catching my eye knowingly, suggesting in veiled terms that we be “concerned” about our seven year old’s sexuality.</p>

<p>So I catch your eye when you ask him about baseball and soccer, not because I don’t want you to be interested or I’m expecting your reaction to be as nonchalant as if he had said he’s the star of the peewee basketball team. I bore my eyes into yours, conveying with a look my son’s intuitive nature and telling you with silence that I’m not going to answer those questions.</p>

<p>Instead, I’ll tell you about a baby boy who felt music in his soul before he could crawl,grooving to the beat of push-button toys in the church nursery and spawning jokes about his young parents’ need to curb the tendency if he was to become a “good Baptist baby.”
I’ll tell you about a toddler spinning on his head on the living room carpet, the grocery store linoleum, the church foyer tile, eliciting amused comments from strangers about his wannabe break dancing. I’ll tell you of his unquenchable need to move in the presence of rhythm and an obvious inborn ability to feel music.
I’ll revisit the memory of him bounding in the front door on a December afternoon, tossing his kindergarten backpack and, wild eyed, telling us of the music class in which people leaped and twirled to music, strong men jumped high in the air, danced on their toes and lifted ballerinas across the stage. He wore black sweat pants and a white undershirt every day of Christmas break that year, asked Santa for black ballet shoes, watched dozens of online videos of boys’ ballet techniques and by Christmas day had memorized every note and crescendo of the entire Nutcracker Suite.
I’ll laugh and sigh and tell you of his own carefully choreographed dances to specific pieces by Beethoven, Taylor Swift and Mumford & Sons.
I can show you a clip from his first recital, when he was awarded an unsolicited, unexpected dance scholarship and hadn’t a clue what it meant as he smiled and accepted the sheet of paper. I’ll try to keep from beaming, as parents do, and will refrain from repeating every accolade and declaration of talent his instructors have bestowed upon him.
I’ll tell you of the way he glows after a six hour practice, the finesse with which he glides across the floor, the way his very soul leaps from his eyes when he manages a toe touch or perfects a difficult series of steps. I’ll show you a boy who carries himself with grace in manner and spirit, who is strong in character and skill, who is learning of compassion and team effort and how to appreciate the brilliance of life’s beauty.</p>

<p>When you ask my dancing son about this passion he carries and you catch my eye, slightly uncertain how to proceed, I won’t try to convince you this was all his idea or give ten examples of his father’s unwavering pride or waste breath assuring you that my second grader isn’t gay.
I’ll simply tell you what he said to us after his first Nutcracker performance last winter:
“Mama, it feels like my heart is flying when I’m dancing. I think God made ballet because he knew I’d love it.”</p>

<p>MTMajorCook, thanks so much for posting this - as the mother of a dancing boy, I loved it too! I have certainly had many moments waiting to see how people are going to react when my S discloses his chosen “sport.” He has been pretty lucky - in most cases people have been pretty positive, or at least not overtly negative. </p>

<p>I have been reading with great interest your posts on the MT forum about MT schools with strong dance; my S is just a junior so has another year before having to start in on the audition process, but he he too wants a really strong dance program. We will be following your and your S’s journey very closely, so please keep us posted as you narrow down your school list and let us know what you encounter as you go through the audition process!</p>

<p>I lol’d at the break dancing part, my S didn’t break dance he taps…and taps…and taps to the point I don’t even notice him tapping behind me down the isles of the grocery store anymore. I’m not even sure he notices he’s doing it, what a show we must be! We haven’t been so lucky, he had some trouble with bullying. It wasn’t until he started getting leads in the high school musicals he started to feel more accepted in high school. There has probably been 3 MT majors come out of our high school in the last 10 years. One of his close friends was dating the captian of the football team. He said “look at your calves dude, I would die for those calves” My S’s friend said “he’s a dancer darling, if you all danced, you’d all look like him.” LOL! </p>

<p>If I could give you guys any advice right now it would be start reading plays. My son has read many plays this summer but is having trouble finding just the right age appropriate monologue and he’s starting to stress over it. I wish he would have started last summer, we had no idea it would be so difficult narrowing down characters with ages between 18-25. Anyway…way off dance topic. I’ll PM you the final list and how it all goes</p>

<p>I saw this too…I have dance-mom friends with boys (who are lifelong friends of my dancing daughter).</p>

<p>Makes me want to watch Billy Elliot for the 80 millionth time.</p>

<p>I love this. I always tell the Mom’s of boys - get them into dance. They will be surrounded by beautiful, in-shape, healthy girls all the time. They get so much attention because there are always so many more girls than guys that dance. They just naturally stand out. Is your son majoring in MT now? Is he getting to dance any? My DD is a dance major but really needs more MT skills such as acting and singing. You need all of those.</p>

<p>Lammb66 - he’s just applying now. He definitely wants a program with an emphasis on dance so we are hoping as we make our 10 college tour we get to watch some of their dance classes etc. </p>

<p>They really do stand out, after the schools yearly dance recital my S is asked to sign autographs by the young girls LOL talk about an ego booster!</p>