I’d love some input from this experienced parent group as we help our DD plan the next year or two of her search for a college lacrosse home. She’s a '21 and has her sights set most likely on high academic D3 (NESCAC or similar) but she’s open to looking at D1 programs like Ivy League and some other schools like Davidson, Colgate etc. Many of her high school lacrosse teammates in class of '19 and '20 already have Ivy commitments so we’ve encouraged her to keep an open mind for now but I think in her heart she really wants a D3 experience for college.
She is regularly in touch with many D3 coaches and they watch her film and tell her to keep sending game schedules for tournaments but in general they’re telling her that right now their main focus is on the 2020’s and this makes sense. Given that, should she mainly focus on her D1 schools now and try to get an offer sometime next fall even if she knows she may really want D3? Some parents tell us that their child went that route and then decommitted from the D1 once the offer they wanted from a NESCAC (or a better D1) came along and that having that D1 offer made their daughter/son more desirable. Is this really how it should work? It seems somewhat unethical to me but we’re just starting the process and I may be wrong. How often do girls accept offers and then still seek new ones? Do coaches looking to build a D3 program see this as a good thing and actively engage in recruitment? Or do they only want to look at girls who aren’t committed?
Right now this is all in the planning stages but it would help to know if this is a true path that many take and that we should consider or if this is less the norm. It will definitely impact what camps and showcases she might prioritize this spring and summer as well. The last thing we want to do is focus on D1’s and jeopardize her chances of getting looks from the NESCAC programs she really wants.
Any advice is much appreciated.
The most important thing for your daughter right now is to keep up her grades and prepare for the SAT. Without very good SAT/ACT scores and GPA the Nescac and Ivies become out of reach.
I would only haver her commit D1 early if she is 100% completely fine with going the D1 athletic route and absolutely loves the place. If she thinks that way, take the offer, congrats and move on. Otherwise, keep playing, keep studying and start reaching out to DIII coaches junior year after you have an idea of her grades/test scores.
Good luck.
Thanks @RightCoaster I agree. She’s at a top private school that sends a lot of kids to great colleges and she has a 3.9 GPA unweighted now. She will be doing prep for ACT or SAT this spring because most girls who go this route at her school do the testing right at the end of 10th grade. I’m hopeful that if her grades stay on the same level and she gets decent scores she can be a strong candidate academically. I was more curious about whether a lot of girls commit and then change their minds and if we should be thinking that way but it sounds like you would suggest only doing that if she’s 100% sure about the D1 school.
If anyone has a child who went D3 after originally thinking they would accept a D1 offer I’d be curious about the interactions with the D3 coach.
I know many more boys who decommitted than girls. The system has changed and there are no commitments as sophomores anymore, but ‘back in the day’ (3-5 years ago), the top players I knew who committed to BC, UVa, Maryland ended up at those schools. I do know one who committed to Florida but she (and her sister) ended up at Liberty for personal reasons.
After my daughter committed (to a D2) the D3 schools were relentless in contacting her ‘just to let her know’ that she was still able to switch to a D3 without a penalty and could play immediately. These were good schools (Kenyon, Centre, Oberlin) but not necessarily lacrosse powerhouses.
The system is set up that if she wants D1 offers, she really needs to go after them junior year but D3 offers can come later. It is a very small world in lacrosse. The coaches move around a lot and they all know each other. Be honest with the coaches and I think she will still get D1 offers in junior year but won’t have to commit until she knows more about the D3 schools and offers.
Thanks @twoinanddone I agree that most of the lacrosse players we know who jumped to other schools were boys. We knew one who had committed to Dartmouth who ended up at Naval Academy, and all of this happened during his freshman spring “back in the day”.
It’s good to know that coaches will understand if a girl isn’t ready to officially commit when she gets a D1 offer because that will make my daughter less stressed about having to know next fall as a junior. Of course she could totally surprise me and decide she does want to accept an offer if she gets one next year - hard to project at this point so I suppose we will just keep multiple avenues open.
I think the academies are a different factor. I know one guy who committed to Princeton but then went to Army. Another guy committed to the AFA and then decided the military (and the academics at the AFA) just weren’t for him and by then most of the top D1 programs were full or out of money. He picked a school with lower academic requirements and it really is a much better fit for him. Athletically, he could have played at Duke or ND but academically? No. He’s an All American and even was on the Tewaaraton list last year, but academically he’s in the right place.
Yes I think it’s important to have your child align both academically and athletically, which is why I’m guessing it sometimes can be tricky. My daughter is still on the younger side for making that decision but you almost have to make guesses in order to start connecting with coaches and attending camps. I suppose this is why everyone suggests keeping a wide range of options open but that definitely takes a lot of work for the student trying to keep up correspondence!
Wresting is my sport not lacrosse, but I think they are similar in that the universe of coaches is small, and everyone is only about one degree is separation from everyone else.
I think there is a big difference between getting offers or at least serious looks from schools that are in her second tier (D1 for her it sounds like) and accepting any of the offers. I can’t imagine that won’t put coaches off, and you may have some coaches refuse to recruit her away from _______, because they played for that coach, or were in their wedding, or whatever relationship they have.
Also she can be vague about where she wants to go, but be honest. They talk. More than one coach that talked to S already had info on what he was looking for from other coaches that were recruiting him. If you tell the Harvard coach your are definitely going D1, the Williams coach may not even call or return your D’s call because they assume they are the backup plan. If not, they assume you aren’t being honest with someone. (Just an example, I don’t know the relationships between any particular coaches)
Thanks @dadof4kids that’s helpful. I think for now she should just move ahead and continue to be honest about the fact that she’s torn and will be exploring both options to see if there’s a match. She has a lot of time for D3 schools given their current focus on the 2020’s, so this spring into summer we may look at school-specific camps for some of her potential D1 schools. I think she’ll know a lot more in the next 12 months about whether or not she is a good candidate and/or still wants Ivy.
I will discourage her from telling coaches that she knows she definitely wants one or the other yet!