I agree with PG - if you are going to play that card, play it directly.
In the article I mentions I think the ad-com person uses the word “call”.
JustOneDad - don’t get me wrong, that is a noble sentiment.
But, unfornately, in the real world, that is not how the game is played even though some of us would wish it otherwise.
I had a serious “in” at a top LAC. We visited it. The kid who I thought would like it didn’t. If that kid had, though, I would have absolutely played that card. Without a moment’s hesitation. I believe in playing every card you’re dealt.
Interesting theory. I wonder if it is correct.
I know of an 8 figure, long time donor who couldn’t get his own nephews into the alma mater. That was a mess. Most big donors looking to exert some influence go through their development rep. They don’t write cold letters to adcoms.
If this is a single digit school, what’s key is you truly understand what the school is about, values, and looks for. And then that that level of thinking comes through in the app. Not just play the same old mathcy-matchy about stats. His app would have to pass muster on its own, first. It can also be an issue that you say his ECs are “average.” Really? Or you just think so?
I think it is just fine to have the donor help but only if the kidddo intends on enrolling if accepted. If there is any doubt about that outcome think very carefully as it could be embarrassing to the donor to put forth effort only to have the kiddo reject an offer for any reason. The entire point of using the donor is to assure an acceptance and the only point of that acceptance would be to attend. Otherwise let the kiddo take his chances on his own without networking.
^^ this!!!
be very careful how you play that big donor card.
If he REALLY knows you kid and can tell a story about her that shows he knows her, then go for it- if she will end up saying “yes” to an acceptance letter.
The feedback that @Sue22 gave seems most on target to me (as well as the advice that your child should commit to enroll if accepted).
You mention “an 8 figure donation” at a “certain ivy equivalent school with a single digit acceptance rate”.
That covers a wide range of possibilities, but if for example you’re talking about a 10 to 20 million dollar donation at Stanford, then I think many people would be very surprised at how little influence a letter will have in this situation (unless it can really speak to the merits of the applicant and is based on substantive interaction).
It probably depends on the school and how selective they are. A friend’s son had competitive stats but was declined at Emory. He appealed and got support from a distant relative who have given alot of money to the school over the years, and got in. He graduated, and has a successful career as a lawyer.
JustOneDad - I do not mean that for the vast, vast majority of the people who got into good schools/jobs are there because of connections. I meant, for very selected few people who do have the connections, they do use them to their advantage. (e.g. McNealy of Sun got aLOR from the then CEO of GM who is a family friend)
al2simon - that is interesting to know. The moral of the story is that you should be rich and NOT your relative. :o)
We have a friend who made low 8 figure donation to Stanford. Both of their kids are there. On the other hand, my neighbor claims that he has a friend who has made a low 7 figuration donation to Stanford but it did not help that person’s kid at all - which is somewhat surprising to me.
Yeah, well, we can all claim we have “friends” who made 7 figure donations to wherever.
Meanwhile at UChicago they are playing every card they can to get more money. I can’t see the admission officers doing anything to come close to upsetting any donor. It’s just a bonus if they think the kid will enroll if admitted and will help bring up yield. Double bonus if the kid will bring up average test scores to maybe help some athlete with sup par test scores get in.
The school matters.
If the friend has donated over $10 million to the school, then odds are that he understands that a letter to admissions is probably not going to make much difference. I would ask him two questions: first, in years past, how many students who he has supported have been accepted? Second, how many other rec letters does he plan to send for other students applying at the same time as your son? Without this info, you really won’t know his hit rate and how much influence he has.
I also agree that if he’s serious and he wants your son to be accepted, a letter is not the way to do it…a personal meeting, a phone call, or contact with development is much better. From my experience, major donors or those connected are very good at getting their own kids in, but rarely can do much for anyone else’s.
Gourmetmom is spot-on. I mean, really, if you’re that level donor, you already KNOW that you can pick up the phone and call and get someone to pay attention to you on the spot. You’ve been courted, you’ve been wined and dined, you’ve been thanked profusely, you’re on the Very Special Invite list to gala events, yada yada. The very idea that a donor supposedly at that level would think that he would just write a letter to the adcom suggests to me that maybe the supposed donor isn’t really the donor at that level.
@Pizzagirl, I don’t think there is any actual evidence that the big donor thinks he would write a letter. The OP mentioned a letter, but that probably reflects the OP’s comparatively naive view. 
The donor knows what to do. I don’t think that the student’s family is in a position to give the donor advice about that.
If your son definitely will enroll if accepted, ask the donor if there is anything he/she can do to improve your already-qualified son’s odds.
Justonedad, I agree with you. I am surprised at how many think this is a good idea. I think it is better for the kid to get in on his own merits: he will feel better, not like an imposter (an actual syndrome). And this could seriously backfire with the admissions office (in this day and age things are not always done this way). Character is important to selective schools, and I don’t think this shows great character. Much better to go to a different school.
You don’t believe development admits get in? Of course they do. I personally know someone at Duke who was/is. And based on what his family has done for the school, I think they’re entitled to a freebie or two.
I agree. If the donor is a big donor of course it will make a difference but I still maintain you do NOT pull that card unless the kid will attend. Everyone is kidding themselves if they don’t think this stuff matters.
I can’t recall ever having seen a development admit. Before I have to hear from all the people who think they know something, please try to understand how this is different from stating they don’t exist.
OTOH, I have heard dozens of stories from people for whom the attempt was not successful.
There is a price for every school. There are private counselors who make a living in negotiating the amount and make it happen. The donor probably could get his own under stats kid in, but not for someone else’s kid. On the other hand, if OP’s kid has good enough stats to get in on his own then it would be very easy for the development office to do this favor and possibly get more money out of the donor in the future.
One thing I would like to point out is if OP’s son should get in with the donor’s influence then OP should be prepared to owe this donor. Depending on how gracious the donor is, I would think twice about owing someone such favor.