<p>Out of oxygen, there was no hope for orgasmic sex. That left our hero, who usually demands compensation for internal combustion engines, utterly incombustible. When cold showers didn't work, our hero combusted. So he called Captian Obviuos and farted in his face as he was lighting a priceless Cuban Cigar. The cows were chargrilled and The Captian squeezed his udders erotically with Vaseline. Then, quite unexpectedly, Captian moaned like a wild boar when he learned he couldn't have sex but could still operate machinery (including hand-held devices). Such a shock it was</p>
<p>Out of oxygen, there was no hope for orgasmic sex. That left our hero, who usually demands compensation for internal combustion engines, utterly incombustible. When cold showers didn't work, our hero combusted. So he called Captian Obviuos and farted in his face as he was lighting a priceless Cuban Cigar. The cows were chargrilled and The Captian squeezed his udders erotically with Vaseline. Then, quite unexpectedly, Captian moaned like a wild boar when he learned he couldn't have sex but could still operate machinery (including hand-held devices). Such a shock it was to open mom's dresser drawer</p>
<p>Out of oxygen, there was no hope for orgasmic sex. That left our hero, who usually demands compensation for internal combustion engines, utterly incombustible. When cold showers didn't work, our hero combusted. So he called Captian Obviuos and farted in his face as he was lighting a priceless Cuban Cigar. The cows were chargrilled and The Captian squeezed his udders erotically with Vaseline. Then, quite unexpectedly, Captian moaned like a wild boar when he learned he couldn't have sex but could still operate machinery (including hand-held devices). Such a shock it was to open mom's dresser drawer only to find that her</p>
<p>Out of oxygen, there was no hope for orgasmic sex. That left our hero, who usually demands compensation for internal combustion engines, utterly incombustible. When cold showers didn't work, our hero combusted. So he called Captian Obviuos and farted in his face as he was lighting a priceless Cuban Cigar. The cows were chargrilled and The Captian squeezed his udders erotically with Vaseline. Then, quite unexpectedly, Captian moaned like a wild boar when he learned he couldn't have sex but could still operate machinery (including hand-held devices). Such a shock it was to open mom's dresser drawer only to find that her battery-operated machines were all</p>
<p>Out of oxygen, there was no hope for orgasmic sex. That left our hero, who usually demands compensation for internal combustion engines, utterly incombustible. When cold showers didn't work, our hero combusted. So he called Captian Obviuos and farted in his face as he was lighting a priceless Cuban Cigar. The cows were chargrilled and The Captian squeezed his udders erotically with Vaseline. Then, quite unexpectedly, Captian moaned like a wild boar when he learned he couldn't have sex but could still operate machinery (including hand-held devices). Such a shock it was to open mom's dresser drawer only to find that her battery-operated machines were all internally combusting an unfortunate underwear.</p>
<p>Out of oxygen, there was no hope for orgasmic sex. That left our hero, who usually demands compensation for internal combustion engines, utterly incombustible. When cold showers didn't work, our hero combusted. So he called Captian Obviuos and farted in his face as he was lighting a priceless Cuban Cigar. The cows were chargrilled and The Captian squeezed his udders erotically with Vaseline. Then, quite unexpectedly, Captian moaned like a wild boar when he learned he couldn't have sex but could still operate machinery (including hand-held devices). Such a shock it was to open mom's dresser drawer only to find that her battery-operated machines were all internally combusting an unfortunate underwear. Naturally, this aroused Captian Obviuos'</p>
<p>Out of oxygen, there was no hope for orgasmic sex. That left our hero, who usually demands compensation for internal combustion engines, utterly incombustible. When cold showers didn't work, our hero combusted. So he called Captian Obviuos and farted in his face as he was lighting a priceless Cuban Cigar. The cows were chargrilled and The Captian squeezed his udders erotically with Vaseline. Then, quite unexpectedly, Captian moaned like a wild boar when he learned he couldn't have sex but could still operate machinery (including hand-held devices). Such a shock it was to open mom's dresser drawer only to find that her battery-operated machines were all internally combusting an unfortunate underwear. Naturally, this aroused Captian Obviuos' attention. Using his combustion powers,</p>
<p>Out of oxygen, there was no hope for orgasmic sex. That left our hero, who usually demands compensation for internal combustion engines, utterly incombustible. When cold showers didn't work, our hero combusted. So he called Captian Obviuos and farted in his face as he was lighting a priceless Cuban Cigar. The cows were chargrilled and The Captian squeezed his udders erotically with Vaseline. Then, quite unexpectedly, Captian moaned like a wild boar when he learned he couldn't have sex but could still operate machinery (including hand-held devices). Such a shock it was to open mom's dresser drawer only to find that her battery-operated machines were all internally combusting an unfortunate underwear. Naturally, this aroused Captian Obviuos' attention. Using his combustion powers, he repowered his mom's toys</p>
<p>Out of oxygen, there was no hope for orgasmic sex. That left our hero, who usually demands compensation for internal combustion engines, utterly incombustible. When cold showers didn't work, our hero combusted. So he called Captian Obviuos and farted in his face as he was lighting a priceless Cuban Cigar. The cows were chargrilled and The Captian squeezed his udders erotically with Vaseline. Then, quite unexpectedly, Captian moaned like a wild boar when he learned he couldn't have sex but could still operate machinery (including hand-held devices). Such a shock it was to open mom's dresser drawer only to find that her battery-operated machines were all internally combusting an unfortunate underwear. Naturally, this aroused Captian Obviuos' attention. Using his combustion powers, he repowered his mom's toys Using them in naughty games</p>
<p>Out of oxygen, there was no hope for orgasmic sex. That left our hero, who usually demands compensation for internal combustion engines, utterly incombustible. When cold showers didn't work, our hero combusted. So he called Captian Obviuos and farted in his face as he was lighting a priceless Cuban Cigar. The cows were chargrilled and The Captian squeezed his udders erotically with Vaseline. Then, quite unexpectedly, Captian moaned like a wild boar when he learned he couldn't have sex but could still operate machinery (including hand-held devices). Such a shock it was to open mom's dresser drawer only to find that her battery-operated machines were all internally combusting an unfortunate underwear. Naturally, this aroused Captian Obviuos' attention. Using his combustion powers, he repowered his mom's toys using them in naughty games such as "Stick it up the Anus Hole!" (based on Pin-the-tail on the donkey) and "Oh That Feels So Uber." Anyhow, Bob walked in the room and</p>
<p>Out of oxygen, there was no hope for orgasmic sex. That left our hero, who usually demands compensation for internal combustion engines, utterly incombustible. When cold showers didn't work, our hero combusted. So he called Captian Obviuos and farted in his face as he was lighting a priceless Cuban Cigar. The cows were chargrilled and The Captian squeezed his udders erotically with Vaseline. Then, quite unexpectedly, Captian moaned like a wild boar when he learned he couldn't have sex but could still operate machinery (including hand-held devices). Such a shock it was to open mom's dresser drawer only to find that her battery-operated machines were all internally combusting an unfortunate underwear. Naturally, this aroused Captian Obviuos' attention. Using his combustion powers, he repowered his mom's toys using them in naughty games such as "Stick it up the Anus Hole!" (based on Pin-the-tail on the donkey) and "Oh That Feels So Uber." Anyhow, Bob walked in the room and saw his mom in a</p>
<p>bump b/c this story is cool and i can't think of something funny to add to it.. so someone else do it.</p>
<p>Out of oxygen, there was no hope for orgasmic sex. That left our hero, who usually demands compensation for internal combustion engines, utterly incombustible. When cold showers didn't work, our hero combusted. So he called Captian Obviuos and farted in his face as he was lighting a priceless Cuban Cigar. The cows were chargrilled and The Captian squeezed his udders erotically with Vaseline. Then, quite unexpectedly, Captian moaned like a wild boar when he learned he couldn't have sex but could still operate machinery (including hand-held devices). Such a shock it was to open mom's dresser drawer only to find that her battery-operated machines were all internally combusting an unfortunate underwear. Naturally, this aroused Captian Obviuos' attention. Using his combustion powers, he repowered his mom's toys using them in naughty games such as "Stick it up the Anus Hole!" (based on Pin-the-tail on the donkey) and "Oh That Feels So Uber." Anyhow, Bob walked in the room and saw his mom in a compromising position with the maid</p>
<p>Out of oxygen, there was no hope for orgasmic sex. That left our hero, who usually demands compensation for internal combustion engines, utterly incombustible. When cold showers didn't work, our hero combusted. So he called Captian Obviuos and farted in his face as he was lighting a priceless Cuban Cigar. The cows were chargrilled and The Captian squeezed his udders erotically with Vaseline. Then, quite unexpectedly, Captian moaned like a wild boar when he learned he couldn't have sex but could still operate machinery (including hand-held devices). Such a shock it was to open mom's dresser drawer only to find that her battery-operated machines were all internally combusting an unfortunate underwear. Naturally, this aroused Captian Obviuos' attention. Using his combustion powers, he repowered his mom's toys using them in naughty games such as "Stick it up the Anus Hole!" (based on Pin-the-tail on the donkey) and "Oh That Feels So Uber." Anyhow, Bob walked in the room and saw his mom in a compromising position with the maid and the universe spontaneously combusted.</p>
<p>NOTE: Rather than "cool" I was thinking this story was getting a bit disturbing and would prefer it was relegated to the dustbin of the CC Forum archives (with the server crashing if there's a supernatural force out there). As long as this thread is going to be back on page 1 of the Cafe, perhaps we can do better with a different story....</p>
<p>okay. new story:</p>
<p>Donald Trump's new reality TV-show</p>
<p>Donald Trump's new reality TV-show on the Lifetime Women's Network</p>
<p>Donald Trump's new reality TV-show on the Lifetime Women's Network was so offending that women</p>
<p>internally combusted themselves :)</p>
<p>Donald Trump's new reality TV-show on the Lifetime Women's Network was so offending that women internally combusted themselves by appearing on a televised</p>
<p>P.S. Copy and paste the post before you.</p>
<p>Donald Trump's new reality TV-show on the Lifetime Women's Network was so offending that women internally combusted themselves by appearing on a televised "Most Explosive Spontaneous Combustion" competition.</p>