<p>Well, I’m sorry your H is acting like this, OP. If he insists on visiting UVM/Burlington, this is at least the ugliest time to do it. This is what we call “mud season”. The trees are bare, it is still cold with plenty of gray days and any snow in the city is likely to be dirty-looking. I sure hope your H gets over this.</p>
<p>I have a lot of sympathy for H. It is hard to see one’s kid refusing to even consider an option that one thinks would be great for them. Sometimes, one has to just let it go. Sometimes one has to persist in “just take one bite” mode and the scales will fall from the kid’s eyes. Or maybe they won’t, but at least you will both know that you both gave each other a respectful hearing/chance.</p>
<p>The trick is knowing which situation one is in. Is your D rejecting UVM based on preconceptions that may not be accurate? Might she actually change her mind? Is there any possibililty that an overnight trip together might result in something good between them if they both agree to compromise and try to enjoy a little expedition together? (“Just take one bite, and if you don’t like it, I promise I will not try to make you eat it.”)</p>
<p>I should add that I really, really, really dislike the “we’re paying for it” stance. (It’s one thing if the kid is pushing for an unaffordable school, or picking something crazy because they want to follow a HS GF/BF. But that is not the case here.)</p>
<p>I’m trying to get D to be upbeat about the trip. (Personally, I wish I could go myself, as I actually like doing the tours.) She has not 100% ruled UVM out, so the possibility that she falls in love with it does exist, although I will have to remind her that this is not a pretty time of year. </p>
<p>H has been mostly on the sidelines throughout the college process for both DS and DD. He is not the one doing the research, and I have done most of the trips/visits. He has one rather odd (?) idea which pops up from time to time. If someone we know who is very wealthy mentions to us or to H’s parents that their child/grandchild is considering or attending This U or That U, H wants to know why it isn’t on OUR list. His argument is “They are rich and rich people send their kids to the best schools. They know which schools to send their kids to so they will best succeed and also be rich. We should send our kid to one of those schools also, because they know what they are doing.”</p>
<p>UVM happens to be “one of those schools”, which I think is why he is so keen on D at least looking at it.</p>
<p>Poor guy. 
He hasn’t had the benefit of being on CC for the past three years. His reasoning is understandable when you take into account that he hasn’t spent every waking hour on CC like we do.</p>
<p>I see this in parents of D’s friends. They have no idea how the process has changed since they were looking for colleges.</p>
<p>Are the financials an issue? Because if UVM would turn out to be a lot more expensive than your D’s other options, maybe you need to do a spreadsheet for him so that he can SEE it.</p>
<p>Good luck. This too shall pass.</p>
<p>I see this in parents of D’s friends. They have no idea how the process has changed since they were looking for colleges.</p>
<p>My friends have kids several years younger than my oldest. They didn’t believe me when I tried to tell them you can’t get instate tuition at most state universities ( including California) after a year.
Their kids all wanted to go to Berkeley or UCLA but with in state tuition cause they might live there after college.
I gave up after a while & just smiled & nodded.</p>
<p>We’ve gone from throwing darts at the college list to throwing darts at the husband. </p>
<p>LOL, I think we’ve gone a bit out of scope. :-)</p>