There are thousands of schools and tons no one has heard of - but someone has.
And once you get your first job, you’ll move up based on you.
So whether you go to West Liberty or Wabash, you’ll find successes in society and one day you’ll be wearing the sweatshirt of that unknown school, and someone will make a beeline for you.
So as long as the student has the confidence to do the right thing and pick the right school based on fit - they’ll be in control of their destiny.
The CCs at our school used to put CDS stats of several similar schools next to each other - without names. They’d ask everyone to guess the schools.
Then they’d do the “reveal”, adding % accepted and merit. It’d become apparent quite quickly that there were few differences except geography or a top football program, and that some of those “sleepers” were in fact hidden treasure.
You can do a variant of this with your kid. It’s very illustrative of how blindered most of us are . This really helped us expand our search beyond the usual suspects and to think about quality on our own terms.
You have a very mature kid. Good job parenting. I went to a very local no name school unless your from Detroit. My friends went to name brand schools. I am still friends with them mostly and I am 62.
Prestige is just a word and a figment in someone’s mind. Your child will be fine in school. My kid went to the top high school in our state and nationally ranked high the year he went there. Trust me, the pressure was on but in reality the kids were happy for everyone acceptances. If their not talking to your son or still talking to him because of school choice then what kind of friends are those and how immature (if I am understanding correctly). We don’t let others make our choices. Your child will be rewarded in life making choices others would not. We have raised two kids that usually take the road less traveled and both have done well in their early life’s so fair (24/26). The road less traveled can lead to interesting life experiences. All he has to say is this is the school that feels right to me. No reason to explain further. Congratulations on your son’s decision
I wouldn’t completely dismiss brand name. I was just doing some interviews today. Even though the college(s) are on the bottom of the resume, I still read them.
Of course, how much college brand name affects employment prospects depends on the employer, industry, college, and major.
For those who attended college immediately after high school, college brand name is also mostly a product of the situation the person was while in high school – parent financial situation + person’s high school achievements. The person may be somewhat different now compared to the person as a high school senior.
I wouldn’t resist the one that is more brand name, or encourage it. @Owl1 it does seem that you feel any decision for the more “brand name” college will be due to peer pressure.
Are you communicating to your son that he will be too peer-influenced if he chooses that one?
If cost is the same, and peers are telling him one is better than the other, and he believes this, I would just let him choose the brand name school. I don’t get the problem. He will do fine at either, right?
There are many factors to consider but I would include challenging and interesting peers as one to include. Location, size, “vibe.” And yes, for some kids, having no TA’s or large lectures is important.
Has he visited both?
Peer and parent pressure, however subtle the latter, may collide here. That could be a course of stress, so I would try to be neutral.
One other thing: I truly believe making GPA’s available publicly (and awards, colleges) hurts the top students as much as those who are not doing well. at least long term. I really like Alfie Kohn’s books on this. Dependence on external approval ropes smart kids in early and I think can interfere with better motivators.
I like your idea except for step 4. I found with my kid that it helped to lay out all the factors and how important they were in a spreadsheet but it was better to look at it and decide based on gut feeling.
You can’t control stress your student may feel from other kids about “brand name”. You can just be supportive of their choice. As others have said, I would be as hands off as possible and let the kid decide. Sounds like both would be good choices and if there are no financial or other benefits from one vs the other, it should be entirely their choice.
The reality is that kids have their own groups on social media and many/most post their acceptances and where they end up going. By HS kids know who the top students are. I don’t think there is anything wrong with celebrating student academic achievement just as athletic or artistic achievements are celebrated. And I say this as a parent whose kids were not super achievers, even though they were very bright. I think they recognized that those kids deserved recognition.
Yes, intrinsic motivation is best, but seems that those with the top grades also have internal motivation to do well. Some of that is personality.
These two statements are contradictory. The latter means they are at least weighing it somewhat, or it wouldn’t create stress. Do you know the latter to be true, or are you presuming it based on the nature of the school?
I still remember the gasps when folks started looking at the stats of Wooster vs Trinity. The former was one of the “never heard of it” schools while Trinity was quite competitive for our kids. And Wooster had merit!
I walked away from that (quite fun and lively) exercise with a whole new appreciation of a number of schools. Iirc, the 150 kids in my son’s class went to something like 120 different schools – the kids really embraced how many excellent options there were.
I don’t understand the problem here. @Owl1 if he chooses the more prestigious school, you will not be able to tell whether peer pressure was a factor.
You can just let him choose and trust his motives, I guess.
You keep saying that he will not succumb to peer pressure but feels stressed buy it. Which is it?
It isn’t a disaster if peer pressure wins, honestly, unless it costs more. There is such a thing as reverse snobbery where we parents try to prove prestige doesn’t matter, but I would just stay out of it!
OP: How can this thread be helpful without naming the schools as well as sharing the particular preferences–academic & social–of your student ? Seems like you are wasting a valuable resource.
In short, my tip is to give specific information if you really want meaningful advice from others. Otherwise, just flip a coin.
eyemgh,
Is the type of school. Everybody knows, parents, staff, instructors, anyone who knows about the school, etc.,
compmom, we are talking about different aspects. I am not thinking about the schools. I"m referring about the peer pressure even if peer pressure doesn’t affect the decision.