<p>No offense… but I get the feeling from your post that you’re contributing to her stress. Why did she only apply to one school with a football team? Most colleges across the country have them. However, she HAS applied, so you need to be the supportive parent and help her find the beauty in each school (especially the one that accepted her). Sure there may be negatives (commuter school, distance from home), but you should be focusing on the positives of each school at this point to help alleviate her stress.</p>
<p>Good luck. Hope things go your way! Have you thought about going to the local CC (not sure what that would be in San Diego, but I’m sure there is one) and then transferring later if she doesn’t get in first time around? California has a great community college system.</p>
<p>Deb, if SDSU doesn’t pan out she could look at Santa Barbara City College - a 2-year community college with transfer agreements to other California 4 year institutions…on the ocean, sports teams, drop dead beautiful collegiate feeling campus. (I took a picture of the football field, because the students face the ocean and I kept thinking…“how do they pay attention to the game?” The website barely does it justice. SBCC kids dorm at two dorms next to the UC Santa Barbara campus which is just up the road. It’s a bit of a haul driving wise from San Diego, but might be a good option. If you are classified as out of state, SBCC is abit easier on the budget, too. We looked at it when we took our son on a California college look see trip to UCSB since we knew it was difficult to get into the California colleges as an out of stater and liked the guaranteed transfer arrangement that SBCC had with UCSB. There are many city colleges in California, but many are definitely the commuter type schools. SBCC was different than anything I had ever read or seen. Since SBCC is a community college she could make that decision after everything else comes in from all the schools she applied to. Most kids spend the first two years taking a basic curriculum and intro type classes and are not disadvantaged by a city college. Many of the kids were highly motivated and planned to use the guaranteed admission program which requires maintaining a decent GPA so it had a nice academic feeling on top of the gorgeous campus and ammenities. By son actually liked SBCC, UCSB and SDSU the best out of whirlwind Southern California 10 colleges in 5 days tour for the “soft” aspects: campus feel, the size, the students and the location. Another interesting choice was Cal State Channel Islands…closer to LA than Santa Barbara, still a haul from San Diego, but an interesting old college feeling campus (like SDSU) and close to the ocean, but not on it. It’s a “new” member of the Cal State system. The area is “farm belt” but it’s kind of an intriguing place. The school was closed for Thanksgiving when we were there so can’t comment on the student body, teachers, etc. It was really deserted that day. Check out the websites for these 2 options.</p>
<p>Another vote of confidence for checking out SBCC. I live fairly nearby and hear good things from all kinds of “local” kids who are going there. One is on his way to Berkeley next year as a junior. SBCC students have the option of living in UCSB dorms and being on UCSB meal plans too.</p>
<p>I live near Cal State San Marcos and a lot of kids from our local high schools go there and live at home. However, San Marcos just built some very nice dorms, so there is the chance to experience “college life.”</p>
<p>
Actually, a lot of California’s state colleges have dropped football - particularly schools that would be academic and financial alternatives to SDSU. CSU Fresno, Sacramento, San Jose State and Cal Poly SLO are the only ones which come to mind. There are community colleges with 2-year football teams, but it’s not really the same thing.</p>
<p>Walk, run, swim! Do something physical to relieve all that stress!
I usually take my dog for an intense, long walk when I am anxious.</p>
<p>Perhaps since you’re both living in New Jersey, and both planning a big cross-country move to California within this calendar year that is the real concern. You must have many details on your minds, in addition to college results.</p>
<p>I’m sure she imagines missing the New Jersey friends, but those friendships shift, too, once college begins, and don’t last as intensely as the high school years, in the way kids would imagine. </p>
<p>San Diego is a terrific city. I’m sure you’ve looked at all the San Diego visitor/tourist sites. Lots to do, and so beautiful. In a way she’ll be on a new trip herself all summer when she visits you at your apartment. Will you have time to discover San Diego sites with her when she visits you?</p>
<p>You are a life saver. She desperately wanted to go to UCSB but couldn’t get in having to meet out of state criteria. That sounds like an incredible option. I am going to research the hell out of SBCC this weekend.</p>
<p>Thank you so much!</p>
<p>Thankfully, my daughter did not stress about the process, and loved her second choice probably only one degree less than her first. However, I am a different story. I stress over everything. When I was applying to grad school, I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease, so basically, this is just a note to watch your daughter and her stress (as well as your own). If there is any question about the ulcers healing, or that everything will be fine once the process is over, and you find that it is not, make sure they test…sometimes they like to just blame stress and don’t take action (which everyone said was my problem at first –> no testing for a year –> emergency room –> admitted to hosp for over a week). Stress can be very detrimental to health. And btw, a cross-country move plus going off to college = major stress for the whole family. Take care, and stay healthy.</p>
<p>A Princeton study indicated that bright students, like cream that floats to the top, will do well no matter what college they attend. Period. Coming from a bunch of bow-tied pinheads at Princeton, I’d put some stock in their conclusion.</p>
<p>My D heard from SDSU in December. It’s all about the numbers there. If you go to their website, there is a formula that you can use to at least get some idea of your odds of getting in. I heard that 60,000 people applied there this year!!! It’s absolutely nuts for class of 08.</p>
<p>Stress. Am remembering (hopefully accurately) reading that for adults, the top 3 stressors are: 1) death or loss (e.g. divorce) of a close relative or friend
2) job or career change
3) moving to a new city or town</p>
<p>Counting it up, you haven’t indicated #1 above, thankfully, but both of you face #2 and #3. Of course it’s stressful!</p>
<p>Just stay aware and remember your health while you work on everything to do with the future. Best wishes and positive thoughts to you and your D!
(herbal tea while researching…yoga stretches between phone calls to movers, etc._)</p>
<p>P3T, that’s exactly what was mentioned at our school’s college preview day! In fact, the GC who spoke mentioned that going away to college also means experiencing some of the #1 stressor - the kids are breaking away from their families, which, of course, is not as drastic as going through a divorce or a loss, but still it means separation.
Being an avid gardener, I know that transplanted plants still undergo a lot of stress no matter how great the new location is and need a lot of TLC. OP, your D will bloom beautifully no matter where she ends up, since she has a very caring mother!
Little stress-reducing tip that worked great for us: I found that taking my D out for a litte “ladies night out” involving shopping, trying on outrageous clothes, some ice cream, etc. worked great to reduce her anxieties. We never really bought anything substantial, but both had a blast.</p>
<p>BB, Yes, shop and eat ice cream away from the house. My DD and I always could relate this way. </p>
<p>Actually, I can see why: you are making small decisions at a time when you can’t control the big decisions. “You want sprinkles or walnuts on that sundae, Miss?” You feel in charge, for a change!</p>
<p>I just want you guys to know that I really appreciate you all taking time to calm me down. The suggestion of Santa Barbara City College was great. She applied today and was already accepted (LOL) I sent in $25 to secure one of those dorms on UCSB campus just incase the SDSU thing doesn’t work out. It seems like a great alternative. I wonder if San Diego Community Colleges have the same thing where you can dorm there by SDSU and attend the CC then transfer in. Does anybody know about that?</p>
<p>Oh, that is wonderful!</p>
<p>There are many here who know about San Diego, but in particular you might consider sending a private message to this person:</p>
<p>ucsd<em>ucla</em>dad</p>
<p>ask him to read your thread in case he can advise.</p>
<p>Type his screenname very carefully, or sweep it, as there are many names that have some of those same letters, too.</p>
<p>If you’re not sure how to send a private message, write back here oon this forum and we’ll walk you through it.</p>
<p>I give up. I can’t even believe I go this far. Private messages? No Clue</p>
<p>Jot this down, because if you’re like me, when that cursor movesw around I can no longer read my instructions (LOL, just bonding; it’s a challenge for everybody): </p>
<p>Jot down that screen-name, very carefully (optional: or sweep if you know how to do it)</p>
<p>Go to top left of THIS page.</p>
<p>Click on “My Control Panel”</p>
<p>Look at 2nd column, under the words “Private Messages”, and under it: “Send New Message” = maybe 8 or l0 lines down on the left</p>
<p>Click on “Send a private message”</p>
<p>Type in the screenname you want.</p>
<p>Put any title (it won’t go without a title)</p>
<p>Type in message content</p>
<p>Push “Submit”</p>
<p>Optional: To check if it went out, go to “List Private Messages” and
use the messagebar choices for “Sent Message” It should show up there.</p>
<p>Let us know how it went for you.</p>