<p>My D has already applied for the UC and CSU schools and that has been a relief that it is over. She has been actively working on other OOS apps now. Her dream is to study Psych at UofMich, Ann Arbor. Now, although I would love for her to achieve her goal, I am getting all worried now because of her health situation. This has been bothering me -- Like what if she gets admitted to UofM and not to any great UC schools ? Then she would insist on going to Mi (she was born there and so a special affinity there....) ? She has pretty decent stats and since she has a story of her health in her essay, we are hoping she might get into good UCs. Now this being the expectation, I let her apply OOS just for her satisfaction thinking that I can always make her change her mind if she gets into good UC campuses. </p>
<p>Now, would I just stay put until the admission results are out, or can I be somehow pro-active and try to meet with individual school officials in CA to explain more about my D, her strengths, potential, health issues in depth and why I would like her to be in CA? If there is a way parents can go and talk to somebody in their children's prospective schools, how would one go about it? I feel only a parent can say what the child has been through and how much a college of her choice means to her and that being the case, what role do you think I can play here?</p>
<p>What is it about her health issues that worries you? U of M does have one of the best hospital systems in the country and most of the services are free or cheap to students. They also have a pretty good tuition refund plan (which includes R&B) for cheap. </p>
<p>If you have no intention of letting her go to U of M, don’t let her apply.</p>
<p>I agree Ann Arbor would be great for her both academically and health-wise. But what if we have to go and visit her and what if she has some health issues down the road? She has been born with Tethered cord and she has had 5 spinal surgeries and so still has some issues lingering from her past surgery. We are hoping that she will be much better by Aug 2014 in terms of those lingering issues and in case, our plan falls through, then I would be so scared to let go of her which is why I am put in such a dilemma. But she has been so very excited working on her app for U of M now that I am kind of torn apart. I feel she should go since she loves that place so much but again I am worried based on what has happened over the years and since we work here, it would be such on ordeal for us to be there if and when she needs us?</p>
<p>We used to live in MI until she was 8 and then moved to West Coast and in fact since then, she has been saying she wants to go study at U of M and now all the more since her Psych program there is listed as one of top 3 schools. These days, she has been even researching on which Prof she will want to work with there, etc etc…:)</p>
<p>It sounds like you should be very proud of your daughter and proud of yourselves that despite her health issues, she has been raised not to be fearful leaving your sides. My inclination would be to let her spread her wings and fly, and if that means a couple of parental trips to Michigan, so be it. </p>
<p>To answer the question in your first post, no, there’s no way you can convince admissions officers to admit your daughter because her health issues make California schools more suitable or because she has overcome many obstacles. Apart from the fact that it’s not appropriate for a parent to plead a student’s case–that’s the job of the application and the guidance counselor’s recommendation–and the fact that admissions officers don’t have time to meet with parents and probably refuse those requests out of hand, I don’t think you have a case to make with respect to her health issues. If it’s that important that she be close to home, the answer is that there are less selective schools in the state where she would be an easy admit.</p>
<p>What parents can help facilitate is once a student has been accepted at a university, and committed, if medical accommodations are required then they can support their student while these are put in place. My girlfriend’s daughter has a medical condition that she receives certain supports for (from a/c dorms, to access to elevators in some bldgs that might be faculty only, peer notes from classes on days she might miss class). During orientation her daughter met with someone and walked through everything. Her mother accompanied her at her daughters request, not as the primary advocate, simply as shadow support.</p>
<p>I agree with MommaJ, this is not something that is appropriate for a parent to contact admissions about. It is hard to have any child launch, let alone one that has had significant health issues. As parents we worry, and I can certainly appreciate why you are hesitant. I’m not sure the timing that you would feel comfortable knowing that she’s ready to go. Would you be willing to let her commit by spring? Is it possible that by decision time in April if she is accepted to Michigan but you feel her health isn’t optimal would she/Michigan consider a GAP year (I don’t know their policy)? She should to have something else to do in CA during that time, GAP years need to be productive in some way, but many universities support them. Just an idea to consider/look into.</p>
<p>I will repeat my often repeated mother’s advice, don’t cross your bridges before you reach them. UofM is not easy to get into - if you are concerned about her stats for CA you should be equally or more concerned about a Michigan admittance. If and that is a big if, she is admitted, then I think you can be as proactive as you want - but call Michigan’s disabilities office not admissions and get the ball rolling. The hospital in Ann Arbor is one of the country’s best so no worries there. Detroit is the closet major airport with many direct flights in and out depending on which CA airport you would use. If you can afford Michigan as out of state, chances are a last minute plane flight won’t break the bank.</p>
<p>^^that was my point. The OP “wants” the D in CA and the OP’s D shouldn’t have any trouble getting accepted in CA if the OP’s D actually has the stats to get into UofM AND the costs of UofM are so high for OSS if they can afford that they are only a plane ride away to Detroit Metro. There’s really no losing situation here.</p>
<p>Additionally, if it turned out that in August, she wasn’t doing better and needed more time before she went away, she could defer her admission a year, take a gap year to get it all straightened out and then go to Michigan. </p>
<p>My daughter had no serious health problems in the past (except asthma since she was a baby) and developed a really serious brain condition last year. I did have to go to NYC on short notice to be there during a tough procedure. My point in saying that is none of us ever know what our young adult’s may face when they go away, but we can’t stop them from pursuing their dreams because of something that “may” happen.</p>
<p>This is the second thread on the same issue. Both the cost of OOS UMich and health concerns were mentioned in the last thread.</p>
<p>Someone on that other thread pointed out that if they were VERY concerned about their student’s health, they would not consider a college several thousand miles away from home.</p>
<p>I agree Michigan has fabulous medical facilities, but this is NOT where this student’s regular doctors practice. The MI doctors have not been following the health concerns for years. Plus, the parent would likely not easily be able to be there if health concerns arose.</p>
<p>There are a LOT of terrific colleges closer to home for this student. Of the health concerns are a true reality, this needs to be considered.</p>
<p>If the health issues will be ongoing past college graduation, then there would be concern about her taking a distant first job out of college.</p>
<p>In this case, would it be better to make the transition to living away and managing her own medical care in college versus in a first job out of college?</p>
<p>Of course, other typical considerations apply (e.g. OOS costs at Michigan).</p>
<p>Thank you all so so much. I agree she has a lot more options to be in CA. In fact, she heard last week from CSU LA inviting her to the Honors Preview day.
Her argument is that since the time she has moved to the West coast, she only remembers her doc appts+surgeries+PTs+school absences whereas she was fine when she was in MI and so she thinks MI is her lucky place. And now, she has done more research and says that U of M is even great for her career interests. So her desire to be in U of M is due to both emotional and academic reasons.</p>
<p>As much as I would love for her to be in CA, I kind of agree with her observaion that she has been kind of more sick here than when we were in MI. But for all you know, it may have happened there too and I am having a tough time to explain that to her…</p>
<p>So, actually speaking even though money is going to be a big thing to consider: I am right now toggling between a place that will make her happy vs my happiness. Ofcourse this is all applicable if she gets in at all :)</p>
<p>The thing about my D is that we have gone all over to get medical help for her…And we used to have a very good Urologist at U of M, Ann Arbor before we moved to CA. Even within CA we moved all over Southern CA. And we have also established a good Doctor contact chain in Boston too since we have been going to Children’s Hospital there for different opinions since 2007 (which is why she has even applied to BU and Brandeis Univ). And this last summer we have even traveled out of country which helped her with one of the surgery side-effects and we are planning another trip this summer again to fix her remaining issue…so, that being her medical history, I am totally at a loss what to decide – my mind is going all over which is why I have been writing time and again about my questions – none of my family/friends have been through what I am going through and so I am all the more perplexed, anxious, stressed, excited etc etc and so please bear with me if I sound repetitive. The moment I get some question/fear in my mind, I tell myself that let me ask this on CC and so there I go…:)</p>
<p>I really appreciate this wide group of parents who are able to able out parents like me with issues of first child going to college…</p>
<p>Like some of you mentioned, we are not sure whether she can get into either UofM or UC system with her stats: (SAT: 2180; CR:750,M:630,W:800 and UC GPA of 3.76, she is an AP scholar with Distinction and she has had a semester of surgery+hospitalization and other semesters with numerous absences/appts that has brought her GPA down).</p>
<p>But one question is assuming she sends in her acceptance in May and then decides to have a Gap Year (if required) in Aug, I am wondering if that would be considered ?</p>
<p>Do NOT interfere with her college application process. YOU have NO business trying to contact schools et al. Admissions are between her and the schools, there is no place for you. Once she has her admissions to various schools you and she need to have the financial affordability discussion, unrelated to other subjects. btw-travel costs are part of the financial picture. Then, if Michigan is still a contender, discuss with her how SHE will handle her ongoing health issues. </p>
<p>You need to let go and be sure she is in charge of her life. This year is a good time to be sure she is aware of all that is/will be involved in her life away from home. SHE will need to contact the chosen school’s disability office if need be for any necessary accommodations. Your job is to help her realize what she needs to do, not do it for her.</p>
<p>For right now I would let her have her dream. This winter, after the applications and semester are finished, you can start going over all of the health care needs and how they will be met in college. Let her figure out the feasibility for her options. She may drop Michigan or figure out how to make it work.</p>
<p>You should be proud of your daughter. She has not let a physical problem get in the way of doing well in school. She is also determined to lead her life- admire her independent spirit. Relax about things and enjoy her last year at home. I suspect things will evolve and given time she will make a good choice.</p>
<p>Do NOT plan on a gap year if at all possible. She would miss the college freshman experience straight out of HS. Plan for a positive college experience and deal with whatever happens, just as you have been all along.</p>
<p>OP, I had health concerns with one of my kids and believe I may have even posted about them on cc, oh, almost half a dozen years ago. </p>
<p>As far as the school knowing…the guidance counselor addressed it in my kid’s recommendation and I believe kiddo had a sentence about a rough high school semester because kiddo had been in the hospital for much of it. It is not the parent’s place to contact the colleges.</p>
<p>Kid ended up choosing a small lac far from home, certainly not near a major medical center. Kiddo’s specialists were NOT thrilled but were supportive. The school medical staff knew my kid from day one and liaised with primary doctor. There were a couple of hospital visits during my kids’ four years and I did end up visiting once and staying for the better part of a week. Only once did I have to get on the phone with the medical staff; in general, kiddo handled it all. It wasn’t perfect-- the disabilities office was useless regarding professors – but my kid’s health was fine and that was my main concern. </p>
<p>So, from my perspective, I wouldn’t borrow trouble. See where the admissions and financial aid chips fall. If they fall in UMich’s favor, discuss with the doctors. For now, sit on your hands. And much luck to your daughter-- her resilience will help her in life.</p>
<p>Thank you for the nice words. Yes, I am proud of my daughter’s resilience/persistence and I feel that is her strength in spite of the numerous adversities that she has had as a teenager!
Every time I read her essay, I am in tears as I can see how much she has worked with her health issues internally. She has never been a very vocal or loud person and so I have never been able to see what her mind thinks until she wrote that essay and so I am all the more happy (that she is a strong girl) as well as stressful (thinking whether the colleges will see that mental strength in her app!).
After reading all of your emails, I have decided that the only thing I can do now is wait to let things happen in their natural course of time!</p>
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