<p>At 23 (24 in July) I live in a dorm with a roommate, just a bit older than I am and he is on his way out soon--something I, a present junior hope will be the case for me this time next year. Still a cloud of ambiguity has haunted over me since my arrival at school in the fall of 2013. </p>
<p>I have no clue if my major (which has already been changed numerous times) is right for me? Is it marketable? And, can I sustain a living with this degree?</p>
<p>I've always doubted my own decisions, though I'd like to think I have a pretty good track record as far as my work ethic and overall decision-making skills.</p>
<p>Since high school I had wanted to be a teacher, high school history teacher to be exact. But like many students--interests faded, realities settled and I realized new interests and outweighed pro's and con's. So I set my sights on Sports Management.</p>
<p>A plunge I should have realized would be rather difficult for a student who has struggled mightily with a dyscalculia learning disability. Not only was basic, remedial and survey level math a struggle at the community college nearby, now I was being asked to take 7 math-intensive courses over three semesters. To add to that, it was strongly recommended I double-major in accounting or marketing to "up my value." </p>
<p>I gave myself the reality check and pursued other areas of interest: revisited history as a fit, looked into journalism/public relations, etc. </p>
<p>Finally I found myself giving the journalism, public relations, oral communication and the many branches of communication arts a look in the form a Communication studies program. I was exposed to courses like media writing, and foundations of oral rhetoric and got to meet a wealth of professionals in print media, a Sirius XM personality teaching on the side and a writer of religious rhetoric. It was unique, diverse and made me feel at home. And of course the lack of math requirements was a large part of my at-ease feeling towards the program. The program also took 64 of my transfer credits, versus the sports management/business program that only took 18.</p>
<p>After my semester this fall I was beginning to realize that communication studies was probably not something to hold my interest. I did well in classes, and found the material particularly easy, but I found that the writing aspect was most interesting--especially for someone still eager to find a way into sports. </p>
<p>From there I began fishing around with some ideas in the branches of communication. It was back-and-forth between staying with communication studies or going the PR/Journalism route. Ultimately, no decision has been made finalized on paper, but PR is of substantial interest--and am strongly considering majoring in public relations. </p>
<p>I only wonder if it is a marketable degree, and I wonder that through countless Google searches every day and asking friends--who at this point probably wish I would just shut up. But the anxiety of all this is overwhelming. And I hope my impulsiveness in decisions like yesterday--choosing to drop a communication course for a history course (in hopes of grabbing a history minor) are not detrimental to my goal of getting a degree. </p>
<p>I've borrowed so much of your time already, I won't go too in detail here--but I took a lot of history courses prior to being at the current university I am at now. So I figured an upper-level history course could be manageable. But with a scholarship running out, a major snow storm brewing and time ticking I had to make a fast, and somewhat impulsive decision. </p>
<p>Simply put, that's just a minor--but it's been a major concern since I made the choice, and every time I think about my decisions I try and find a way to have a back up plan. This is a very uncomfortable way to treat what should be a time to think of internships and career fields has been monopolized by my own inability to trust my judgement. I admit I'm considering entering PR blindly and that could be really, really poor decision making. My tuition bill is nearly 18K a year--and my scholarship only covers a small portion of that. So the return on this degree has a ton of implications financially and in the life of a 24 year old who at the moment, feels like he has fallen majorly behind.</p>
<p>Perhaps this is anxiety, perhaps I need to leave for now and soul-search. But I'm here--in my dorm and just can't find a sense of ease or academic comfort, or future-comfort.</p>
<p>Thanks for listening
-nj1990</p>