Transferring after a bad semester from personal trauma

Transfer Students
1

Hi CC,

I’m coming on to ask about advice for transferring from community college to a 4-year university. My path has become especially wobbly this spring.

For TL;DR:

-I am in community college and working towards it on my own.
-I am a math/computer science major hoping to be a cybersecurity engineer post-grad.
-I dropped/failed all classes this semester.
-I was raped by my master tenant, homeless for one month, and have little family/friend support. I’ve had a really hard time bouncing back mentally, and my confidence is way down.

Question: What can I do to still make it when I transfer? Will this be explainable?

I just turned 20 years old, work two jobs, and rent my own apartment. I’ve been on the track towards a pathway in Computer Science and Pure Math, forming a love for math and programming my senior year of high school. I graduated second in my class, with a 4.5 and lots of extracurricular background with 4-H at the state and national levels.

Struggling with my inability to afford NYU, my dream school at the time, I went to community college. The first semester was rough, as the counseling department is weak at my school, but I figured out the system from there, and have a 3.1 GPA after failing and retaking an intro to c++ course. The professor knocked down my confidence, telling me I wouldn’t be successful as a female pursuing tech.

In the spring and fall of 2017, I scored straight A’s in upper level math and computer science classes.

This spring, I was excited and ready to take the following:

  • Physics I
  • Discrete Math
  • Calculus III
  • Data Structures

I did well, acing the first set of exams. This concludes my personal background before this point.

During the spring semester, I finally moved away from home, as I have two very abusive parents who are divorced. This was pretty hard for me, but I was excited to spread my wings, separate from them.

I rented a room from an older man with 3 toddlers. I was slightly concerned about living in his apartment, but he seemed to be renting out the room for a long time, and I figured he would understand boundaries. I was naive. He didn’t. He misused my rent, which I found out I was paying all of for the entire place, and eventually, he raped me and continued to harass me through my phone and through stalking.

After the incident, I was homeless and couch surfing for one month, while trying to balance work, my classes, my house search, and especially my personal health, which was deteriorating. I could barely find time, and never did find the mental energy to pay enough attention to my classes. I failed the second set of exams. I dropped the first three classes on the top of the list, feeling that I was too far behind to catch up with my work schedule.

I am going to fail Data Structures, due to missing too many assignments and a project, which I wasn’t able to make up as my professor was hard to get a hold of. He teaches a ton of large classes. I don’t blame him for this. He gave me extensions on two assignments. I did get an A on the midterm and final exams.

My main question is this – will I still be able to transfer? Will I be able to explain this to colleges? Will this completely ruin everything I’ve worked so hard for? Right now, it feels like it is going to. I really want to be a successful software engineer, because I’m very passionate about it now, and I know I have the capability if given the chance.

My confidence has fallen incredibly low again. I am questioning my self worth after this has happened, and wonder if I’m never going to make it at all. I am happy I dropped most of the classes, but really wish I had dropped them all. This F will drop my GPA again.

I hoped to apply for transfer next spring, which I think I can still do while fulfilling the prereqs for CS at most California schools by retaking this semester in the fall.

I don’t have many people I feel comfortable sharing this situation with in my day-to-day life. I haven’t been able to gain support from my parents. After I was raped, I tried staying with my mom for a few days, and during that time, she kept telling me I deserved it for moving out, and that “being sexually abused will be good for your ego.”

If you have any feedback relating to dropping a semester, especially following trauma, I’d really appreciate it. Thank you.

2

Go to the counseling center on campus, and see if you can get a medical withdrawal for the class you are at risk of failing. It should be possible to arrange given your experience this term, and the effects on your mental health.

Yes, you can transfer eventually, but right now you need to get your mental health back so that you can do your best in your classes. Focus on caring for yourself first. College can wait if it needs to.

So sorry that you have had to experience all of this. Wishing you well.

3

Hi, I’m new to this forum, can we personally message each other? I’m so, so, so sorry this happened to you. I have no idea why people are capable of doing such evil things to each other, and I wish there was something I could do to alleviate your pain. I’m a rape survivor and a gang rape survivor. I was raped in high school, then went to community college for one year, and then I successfully transferred to the University of Southern California where I was gang-raped by a group of at least six men. I know what it feels like to go through what you’ve gone through. I’m so sorry. I feel like I cannot continue to go to USC after the administration mishandled my gang rape case, (they and the LAPD decided the men were not guilty by means of insufficient evidence, despite a rape kit and hallway camera footage), so I successfully gained admission to the American University of Paris. If you need help with your application essays to colleges, please contact me. I’m a published author, alongside NY-Times bestselling authors like Roxane Gay, and I’ve written about my experiences as a rape survivor and political activist for my admissions essays to both USC and AUP, and was accepted by both. You can definitely seek counseling, and work on a personal narrative arc that you can sum up in a powerful essay that will get you accepted to the schools you seek, as long as you back it up with a continually improving (semester to semester) pattern of better grades.

4

By all means get a medical withdrawal and seek counseling. Once you are ready, you know you can perform academically at a high level (you have demonstrated that already) and you can finish up your Community College work. After that make sure you apply to a range of different universities. There are many very good CS programs out there at universities which are not necessarily the most selective for transfer students. You can certainly find a rigorous program that will prepared you to have the career you want.