transferring out of mit

<p>I'm a freshman and am pretty unhappy here to be honest. From the first time I visited I knew I didn't like the school at all, but since it was MIT and I thought I would be giving up a great opportunity, I ended up going. Also the obvious family and social pressure played a role. I also thought that I would get use to it. But after a semester, I still really don't like the school. I'm from socal and I hate the weather(surprisingly its actually making me depressed), the campus seems really strange and ugly to me, its really far from home, the school atmosphere feels completely off to me and I'm not into the MIT culture at all. I know this isn't the case for everyone, but atleast to me, a lot of people seem generally depressed/stressed/burnt out. It's so different from what I'm use to. I've joined a fraternity which helps and I've made a good amount of friends but I still feel really out of place. I also feel like the work/life balance is really bad here from what I've seen. Some sophomores have spent consecutive all nighters finishing up projects and thats not something I want to do. Although I do have some good memories from fun fraternity events so it hasn't all been bad. However, since the day I got here, I counted down the days until I could go back home and I feel like thats a clear sign that something is wrong(not sure if its just homesickness). I came to MIT mainly due to the prestige and the job opportunities and the great education even though its a bad fit. I applied to USC(univeristy of southern california), which is a school I've visited a few times and really like. It's also a 1 hour drive from home which is great for me. I want to major in computer science and my parents and brother are telling me that I would regret transferring out of MIT since it's such a good school and USC is quite the demotion. This does seem to be somewhat the case, but I don't know if I should end up transferring. I'm a bit worried of the "grass is always greener on the other side" scenario and want to make sure I'm making the right choice. I'm also unsure if USC would be challenging enough for me. In conclusion, I would say the main reasons I don't like MIT is because I want to be closer to home, which is pretty important to me, I hate Boston(Sorry Boston fans),the weather makes me not want to leave my room, and the culture/atmosphere doesn't feel right at all. Any advice would be awesome. thanks</p>

<p>Don’t transfer out of MIT. Sure, you’ll have to work insanely hard, but it’ll be worth it when it’s all said and done. If you got into MIT, 1. you’re capable of doing the work 2. you’ve always worked hard throughout your life. This is just you continuing to work hard, eh maybe a tiny bit harder.</p>

<p>If you’re completely set on transferring out, don’t go to USC. Berkeley and Stanford have much better Computer Science/EECS programs. Since you’re probably in-state (lived in So-Cal), go with Berkeley. Keep in mind that all of this is based on whether or not you get accepted into such colleges, but since you got into MIT I don’t see why you wouldn’t get into Stanford/Berkeley, albeit being a transfer makes it a bit harder. Worth a shot nonetheless.</p>

<p>I’m puzzled. We saw this exact story from a different poster a few weeks ago.</p>

<p>@molliebatmit He didn’t want his name to be public so he deleted it and created a new account.
@OP - Transfer out then. It’s not worth going to MIT if you hate it. And no, it’s not homesickness - if you are truly enjoying yourself, you’d almost completely forget about your home.</p>

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<p>Every single person I know that’s transferred out of MIT has regretted it. </p>

<p>This doesn’t mean that transferring out was always the wrong decision. You had a big opportunity, you turned it away, you’ll never know what it’s like to have finished - you’ll always have “what if” in your head, and you’ll always feel a little pang of regret. And it’ll fade over the years as other things in your life become more important (your career, family, etc). Sometimes negative feelings happen and the world is imperfect. These emotions aren’t the worst thing in the world, but I’ll argue that you should expect them.</p>

<p>That said, I was miserable, I stayed, I’m glad I did. (I graduated this past June in EECS.) I’ve never heard of anyone graduating who regretted staying (though they might exist).</p>

<p><em>shrug</em> YMMV.</p>

<p>Give it another year. You are depressed because it is winter and you are in the Northeast - you are not getting enough light. You will transfer and then feel better and wonder why you transferred. The light issue is huge and I don’t think enough people realize what a factor it is living in the Northeast (especially if you are from California). See if you can have your vitamin D levels checked and start a Vitamin D supplement. Also get one of those winter lights (you can get them fairly cheap from a drugstore or order from Amazon.com).</p>

<p>Also might be worth a mild antidepressant to get you through the winter, look into that. And make sure you are getting enough exercise even in winter (go to the gym when you can).</p>

<p>Also are you brown skinned (meaning non white?) I ask this because the darker your skin, the more susceptible to the vitamin D deficiency you might be (the sun has to work harder to get through your skin). #iamnotadoctor but I am a brown skinned person with vitamin D deficiency. Just saying check it out, good luck to you. Hang in there.</p>

<p>I think in the last post I made the same offer, but I’ll make it again: as someone who transferred in undergrad at the end of an unhappy freshman year, I’d be happy to meet up and grab tea and talk about whatever you want. Just send me an email.</p>

<p>Not knowing you, and not knowing anything more than what you have shared with us:</p>

<p>There is a wide variety of student experiences at MIT. It’s possible that you could be happier in another living group.</p>

<p>I wouldn’t jump to meds, but I would visit Mental Health and S^3 walk-in hours to ask about strategies for adjusting your situation to make you happier. There are great people at Mental Health and especially S^3. They spend a lot of time thinking about student happiness. It’s totally okay to show up to just talk.</p>

<p>You should definitely meet with Chris. He’s pretty awesome.</p>

<p>I said this last time, but I think the guy needs to get out. He really doesn’t like anything about the school. It may be hard to work up to full capacity if you are really unhappy, and it may be hard <em>after</em> college to do so if you had a lousy college experience.</p>

<p>The only reason it may be worth staying is for the classes or the media lab (which I remember you were interested in), or if the degree is vital to what you are going to be doing. It might be a good idea to at least take a couple of CS classes (intro, software engineering) to see if they are actually helpful. For a media lab type job, I wonder how helpful the classes in a CS degree at MIT would be. </p>

<p>The bottom line is do you think the hours and hours of problem sets are going to take you toward your eventual goal or not. If not, there is no reason to stay. </p>

<p>I’ve heard of quite a few people who transferred and didn’t regret it, although they went to peer schools so there was no prestige loss.</p>

<p>FWIW, I transferred from a prestigious school to a non-prestigious school, and I didn’t like the new school very much either, but I am <em>still</em> happy I did it because it helped me figure out that what I wasn’t happy with was certain things about myself / my educational path and not the school (or not <em>only</em> the school), which helped me become happier later.</p>

<p>TBQH based on the opening graf of the OP I’d say s/he should probably not have come to MIT in the first place. Which doesn’t mean they shouldn’t or couldn’t stay and be happy; lots of people don’t like (or think they don’t like) MIT and stay and graduate and are happy they did. </p>

<p>But sometimes transferring is a way of reclaiming agency as much as anything else and that is important.</p>

<p>You will learn as much at USC as at MIT, but will be happier. Seems like the choice is clear.</p>

<p>@calirepublic96…the original OP (new pseudonym) mentioned he was rejected from Stanford his first time around and was planning to “try to transfer” to Stanford on the Stanford forum…it sounds like he is really not happy and depressed…especially being from California.</p>

<p>OP…I agree with collegealum314 and SoCalDad2…if you truly are miserable/unhappy at MIT…look at transferring to USC (where you were originally accepted), and put in an application to Stanford, Harvey Mudd, UCBerkeley…to have all your options open at the end of the year…</p>

<p>To transfer or not is a very personal decision. It is hard to advise you without really knowing you. </p>

<p>But I get the tone from your original post that some of it may be your expectations about college was to be like. You say “It’s so different from what I’m use to.”; well every college will be different from what you were used to, it isn’t high school any more. College is about new friends, new and varied opportunities, much more challenging work; it is supposed to be very different.</p>

<p>The work/life balance is about the same at any college engineering program. It is tough and does mean a lot of work. It doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have fun. You said that you will remember the good times with your fraternity, so you are obviously doing some fun things. Maybe you need to do more of that. Time management is a skill that most college freshmen need to work on. How to get your work done and still have time for fun.</p>

<p>Depression has a way of working one into deeper bouts of depression. You feel depressed and therefore you decide to stay in and then you feel more depressed because you aren’t doing anything. If that is the case, then you may need to pull yourself out of that downward spiral.</p>

<p>MIT has many different cultures. If you don’t like what you have seen so far, maybe you need to keep looking!! Boston/Cambridge also have a lot to offer and maybe your search should expand into off campus areas.</p>

<p>You do need to look inward as well as outward to make sure you have identified the true source of your dissatisfaction.</p>

<p>Whether or not to transfer is your decision; just make sure you make an “informed” decision and for the right reasons. Do take up Chris’ offer to talk.</p>

<p>List of things I’m going to suggest.</p>

<p>(1) Start applying to other places - yes, plural - now. Might as well find out what your options are.</p>

<p>(2) Do your best to make spring term as good as possible.
(a) Go to Medical and talk to a psychologist. (None of this mental health stigma stuff. Your brain is an organ just like your heart or lungs.)
(b) Get sun and sleep. I mean it. One of my most miserable times as an undergrad was partially caused by waking up at noon and having the sun set around 4pm. (I know everyone else is hardcore and stays up late and get no sleep. That is stupid. MIT is wonderful in many ways, but that particular cultural aspect is idiotic and should be avoided.) Make your room bright with lamps, maybe a sunlamp.
(c) Sign up for 4 classes. Maybe even 3. Maybe 3.5. Do not overload yourself.
(d) Find an interesting UROP in the Media Lab/etc. Maybe even do this earning units as a 4th class.
(e) Investigate student groups. Go around to different clubs at the beginning of this semester. Join one. Don’t overload yourself, but get involved in something.</p>

<p>The best way to get through this is a two-pronged approach. Figure out what your options for September will be, and otherwise do everything you can to be as happy as you can this term. Even if you leave after this term, at least you’ll have been less miserable this term - your happiness is worth it.</p>

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I certainly hope not, because that’s explicitly not allowed under CC’s terms of service.</p>

<p>I agree with cmgrayson. I think you should rule out physical causes first. Get your vitamin D level checked and buy an inexpensive winter light. I have a friend who has several (light skinned) family members whose vitamin D level drops in the winter. All use the light and take extra vitamin D, and she said it helps. One intends to move south after he finishes college (he’s currently doing a semester in Europe) but is going to stick it out at his northeast school until graduation.</p>

<p>Would Caltech be an option for you?</p>