TV vs not

Parent Cafe
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<p>I had no intention of buying either. I would have rented it for the year from the service that supplies them at this college. I do not intend to store anything...not even the cheap TV I might be buying.</p>

<p>P.S. We also have only one TV in this house...in the family room. If you want to watch TV, you get to socialize with the rest of us, and negotiate for what you want to watch. We have NO TV's in our bedrooms.</p>

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<p>LOL! We're storing the TV (along with quite a lot of other stuff) for S's suitemates. They can all watch a lot of programs on their laptops but they like the communal experience of watching TV together in their common room. They bought the TV used from departing students.</p>

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<p>When I was busy at college, I was pretty much living under a rock as far as pop culture was concerned; I hardly ever watched TV. But I was still very glad to have a (small, rabbit-eared) TV in my room because it's a godsend when you're sick. And living in a dorm, you will get sick.</p>

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<p>Nowadays with almost everyone having laptops, they can still watch DVDs and hit a lot of multimedia on the internet - all on their laptop. They can even equip it with a TV-Tuner and watch TV on the laptop if they want without taking up extra space. I'd still not buy it though because I think it's too much of a distraction.</p>

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<p>I think it's fair to wait and see exactly how critical having a TV will be to them. There may be plenty around. They may be too busy. (At this point, my kids would be getting a lecture about exactly what we are paying tuition for...) If TV isn't her thing, then I don't think it makes sense for her to own one. (And if she does buy it, then you have the tension over when it's on, and what is on....) I am not in favor of people telling other people what they have to buy. I do think this comes up more with girls than with boys. Don't know why. My boys were always pretty relaxed about things. No plan. Whatever roommate showed up with was fine. In general they kept things pretty separate. </p>

<p>As you (Thumper) know, my S is in an apt for the first time. He has spent the past few weeks figuring out how little he can get away with. His purchases: a foam mattress and a folding chair. (I expect a table or desk to be added - probably from a second-hand shop or such.) Meanwhile, his roomie has been buying a lot of things - dishes, furniture, etc. S feels a bit bad, but has consistently said, "I don't think we need that" and roomie has bought it anyway. S does not watch TV (we don't have one - although we're thinking of getting one) and roomie does, so I'm guessing roomie will be getting one. I expect that we will share in the cable fees. Hopefully it won't be too much (since we've never had cable, I have no idea how expensive it is.) S's challenge will be how to handle a one-room apt if roomie watches TV all day (and night). Hoping roomie wears headphones.</p>

<p>This is roomie's first semester at Juilliard (transfer student, previously lived at home and commuted to a local school) and has never lived on his own. He may not know how much work school and apt living are. Or maybe his goals are different.</p>

<p>Anyway, S has tried to be real up front and honest about whole situation from the get go. The apt is more expensive than the dorm. S knows we're being stretched. It's not a matter of not doing our share - it's a matter of getting water from a stone. Ain't gonna happen. In addition, he has already had to pay what he considers a small fortune just to store his dorm stuff, like bedding, over the summer. He really doesn't want to add too much. He's already made it clear that if I send him anything in care packages, it better be edible or disposable.</p>

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<p>I also vote NO. It's not just a matter of parity of expenses; it's a qusetion of what kind of atmosphere you want to live with. Yeah, if the roommate brought the TV, you'd probably have no choice about it (D's did frosh year, unfortunately), but the idea that you can't share other things is just silly, when ThumpD wanted to share in those expenses. The TV wouldn't be a shared expense if Thumper's D doesn't want it.</p>

<p>Aside from my D's freshman yr, neither of mine had TVs in rooms, and somehow they soldiered through.</p>

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<p>Here is my dorm room furnishing story</p>

<p>Roommate decided she would buy refrigerator and microwave. She assigned my daughter to bring a futon. There are lots of things I would be happy to provide, but a futon was not one. No way was I hauling a futon back and forth to school for four years.</p>

<p>So my daughter told roommate that she would not be bringing futon. Roommate had her mother call me to "work this out." My answer was still no.</p>

<p>Finally, I asked my daughter why the futon was so important. Her response: "Mom, that's where you make out with your boyfriends." I guess there are some things I just don't want to know.</p>

<p>We never did bring the futon. Roommates parents ended up purchasing one. And from what I hear, there was lots of activity on that futon. Daughter was not happy when they used her blankets and pillows.</p>

<p>Daughter has new roommate this year.</p>

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<p>Marlene, The futon, and roomie's mother calling you, I think was way over the top! Good for you in sticking with your decision. I also would not bring a futon to school. The roomie using your D's blankets and pillows is just disgusting too. I am glad that she has a different roommate this year.</p>

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<p>My D didn't have a tv- she watched DVDs on her computer & I suppose occasionally they probly tracked down a TV someplace.</p>

<p>THe roommate bought the other things without consulting, while I think that it is fair to share in the expense- buy groceries for the first weeks or something, I don't think that the student is obligated to purchase something they didn't agree to and didn't want.
Does the dorm have a common area with a kitchen? Then they really don't need microwaves and iceboxes in their room.
They also don't need TVs- usually there is so much else going on in college that they don't need to have that for entertainment</p>

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<p>At my son's school, people with TVs and DVD players seem to attract friends. Watching DVDs in someone's room can be a nice alcohol-free alternative to the kid of parties you would rather your kid didn't attend.</p>

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<p>True, but you can watch a DVD on most computers.</p>

<p>My D's first roomie not only brought the TV, she brought a sofa, a computer desk to put next to her desk so her desk would be empty, and a laundry hamper she kept in the middle of things. D could hardly move, especially around the added computer desk. We rented the fridge/microwave.</p>

<p>That roommate also sexiled my D regularly, and left "empties" all over the room--grounds for suspension or more at the school.</p>

<p>D got a new school at the end of the year.</p>

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No, we don't have money to burn. We also expected our son to buy his own computer with graduation money and he pays for books out of summer earnings. I don't see that suggesting that there are expenses associated with helping a kid settle in warrants a "Good grief!" But didn't you buy bedding? How about a hamper? My suggestion was that a small TV might help make for an easier settling in with a new roommate. It's not like we're talking about a plasma with HDTV. We also never allowed our kids to have TVs, phones or computers in their rooms -- but if having a small TV at school eases the social transition I think it's fine.</p>

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<p>There was a somewhat</a> similar thread in the college life forum a while ago concerning an unwanted microwave. Apparently a lot of students think that it's some sort of duty you owe your roommate to bring whichever of the microwave/fridge/tv combo the roommate isn't bringing, regardless of whether you'll use it or not.</p>

<p>Personally, I haven't watched tv in years and I had absolutely no intention of bringing a tv to college, whether my roommate wanted me to or not. Why should I pay for something I'm not going to use just to benefit a person I will be living with for less than a year? As it worked out, my roommate brought her tv, I brought a rug, we rented a fridge and split the cost, and we didn't have a microwave until I brought the one I'd gotten at Christmas. I never so much as touched her tv.</p>

<p>Honestly I would explain to the roommate that I did not want a tv, and if it was going to be a problem she should have consulted me beforehand before going out and buying all sorts of things and deciding who would get what. Splitting costs on stuff is kind of a bad idea because at the end of the year when everyone takes their stuff home, someone has gotten an appliance for half-price and someone has paid for half an appliance without getting to keep it...awkward situation.</p>

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<p>well ask the roommate to buy the tv and see if you can purchase the carpet from her..if there is a cost issue</p>

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<p>SJMom: I am not questioning the relatively small expense of a TV. I am questioning the assumption that things like TVs, carpets, refrigerators, microwaves are NEEDS rather than WANTS. A college student's textbooks (a NEED) should come before a TV or a microwave (a WANT). Unlike many, though, I put a really good computer in the NEED category rather than the WANT category, which is why my kids do not have TVs, refrigerators, microwaves, or carpets.</p>

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<p>I think this issue should have been resolved way before the move in. If you don't want or like a tv, then , will you be angry or upset if said roommate likes to watch Leno's monolog or any of the college 's away football games when you have an exam coming up or paper to write? My D and friends would get together with popcorn to watch something occasionally in someone's room. After all, rain happens, eyes get tired, teams win, kids drink. It's an alternative. I don't think anyone cares about a tv, really. Someone on the floor will have one.And at my kids colleges the lounges are tv less, guess so kids can go there to study, too. </p>

<p>dmd: I know none of these things are necessary but it makes college more comfortable. Floors are cold and hard, kids like popcorn with movies, incandescent light is softer.</p>

<p>Quite frankly my son#4 college is right up there with my country club in perks. AND I LOVE IT. Just me.</p>

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<p>TV isn't the worst thing ever, you know! I have a nice TV/DVD in my dorm room and like it. I have hardly any time to watch, what with schoolwork, landuary, going out for food or just to hang out, etc., but I do like having it. If I'm too tired to go out, I like being able to turn on my tv and watch half an hour of some show to relax. It's also good for the one-two "must see" programs I watch, which others in longue may not want to watch even if I do. Also, I tend to like to watch alone because I laugh and commentate on my favoritews occasionally. I'm a serious student and plan on becoming involved as I did in HS (I already have a list of club meetings and other events I plan to checkout next week), but I do enjoy the occasional downtime with my tv.</p>

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<p>Yes...this is sort of what we had in mind!!</p>

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<p>Backhand...move in isn't until Sept 13. I'm trying to resolve this WAY before the move in!!</p>

<p>I'm going to talk to DD tonight about this. Bottom line is that if she wants a TV, she needs to understand it's going to be a very tiny one...and probably not one with a DVD player (since her computer has a bigger screen than the TV we will be buying!!). If DD does not want a TV, she will have to deal with the roommate. Gosh...if the roommate's mother calls me, I'll puke!!!</p>

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<p>You could offer to split the cost of the things the roommate purchased -- or just buy a small TV. I'd be inclined to let your daughter work it out. Give her $100 to spend in whatever way she thinks is best (contribute to purchases or buy TV). These issues can be difficult - and not worth getting into a fight about for such a small amount of money. It doesn't sound like the roommate was trying to take advantage -- just that she has different ideas about what is necessary for the room.</p>

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<p>snorky, That is exactly why we bought a small TV too. My son does not watch either. To my son none of this was a big deal. My son offered to pay for half of the fridge first, but roommate wanted to keep it at the end of the year. It is big and clunky, and we did not want to deal with it the end of the year, so S agreed to buy a TV. Microwaves are not allowed in the dorm rooms, so that was never an option.</p>