I am reaching out to you today because we are facing a difficult decision regarding my son’s college selection, and I would greatly appreciate your feedback and insights.
My son has been accepted into the Dedman School at Southern Methodist University, which is an incredible opportunity. The program comes with a full scholarship, and the school has recently reached out to offer housing and meals for the entire 4-year program, a FULL ride!
However, my son has also been accepted into the School of Letters and Science at UC Berkeley, which is a highly respected institution but comes with a large price tag due to out-of-state tuition and no financial assistance.
As you can imagine, this has put us in a challenging position. We want to ensure that we are making the right decision for our son’s future, and we know that choosing the right college is a critical part of that process. That’s why we are reaching out to you, as parents of college students or as college students yourself, to ask for your input.
What factors did you consider when choosing a college for yourself or your child? How did you weigh the pros and cons of different programs, financial aid packages, and overall costs? And, most importantly, what advice would you give to someone who is facing a similar decision?
We understand that choosing a college is a highly personal decision, and what works for one person may not work for another. However, we believe that hearing from others who have gone through the process before can provide valuable insights and help us make a more informed decision.
We greatly appreciate your time and consideration, and we look forward to hearing from you. Thank you in advance for your feedback and support!
Texasdad
Personally, I do not believe the UCs - even UCB which is an excellent school - are worth the out of state price tag. It obviously depends on your financial position, of course - if you can easily afford it without much financial pain (and without taking on debt!), then worth considering. But for most people, just doesn’t make sense when they have an excellent alternative in the bag. So I would vote SMU hands down.
My DD turned down her top choice, a top 10 SLAC in southern CA, for a full ride that required she attend an in-state school (Colorado). It was a tough decision as we did have the means to afford the top choice, but the full ride was too difficult to turn down, and the program has come with some many benefits (the extra support, extra programs, and prestige factor have all been instrumental in her pursuit of internships, research, etc.).
I grew up in CA and I agree with worriedmomucb that I don’t know that any of the UCs are worth the out of state price tag, but that is for sure a personal decision.
About 50 years ago my family was faced with a very similar decision, except that it was between McGill for nearly free versus MIT at full price. We went with the higher ranked university (MIT). Even at the way, way lower prices back then, I think that this was probably the wrong decision. At today’s prices, I think that it is an easier decision, and I would also go with SMU with a full ride unless your family is very wealthy.
The difference in cost is huge. There are a lot of other things that you could do with the money. However, this is not the only issue.
UC Berkeley is a very large university. There are some significant advantages of a smaller university such as SMU. I do not know how safe Berkeley (the city) is at this point. UC Berkeley is also very academically demanding. A student needs to really want to work this hard if they want to consider going there. A student’s four years of undergraduate study is a time for a student to work hard at their studies, but it is also a time to grow as a person and to find yourself in the world but away from your parents.
Also, for nearly all majors and nearly all resulting careers, the difference between a “top 100” versus “top 20” university really does not matter all that much. The issue is that there are several hundred excellent universities and colleges in the US. Anything in the top 100 is very good. MIT graduates and UC Berkeley graduates will work alongside U.Mass graduates and SMU graduates and no one will care where any of us got our degree.
I would take the full ride. If you reasonably can I would also offer to keep enough of the money you save reserved in case your son wants to do a master’s degree at some time in the future (with the understanding that he does not need to decide about this for many years).
First, there is no “ensure” or “right decision”. Given a promising starting point, which both of these schools provide, the actual outcome compared to having chosen the other depends to a great degree on chance. Maybe your son ends up in a few classes that really spark a fire, or by chance finds out about an internship that leads to a satisfying career, or meets his future spouse. Which school will this happen at? One, both, neither? Nobody can say.
Second, it’s certainly your money and you’re within your rights to tell your son that $250K+ for Cal is unaffordable, but it seems something more than that is going on here. It sounds like you want to weigh the unweighable and then tell your son which college he will attend. Where do his wishes and thoughts come into play? And if he’s just turned to you to make the decision for him, that may suggest something about his readiness for college right now.
I am in state(silicon valley to be specific) and even if kids from my are get in Berkley are hesitant because of the drugs and homeless ness around the campus. We as parents do feel sorry about the situation but at the same time not ready to risk sending the kids in that environment.
We do visit the campus at times to play soccer games and marijuana smell bothers me personally. I had told my kids if you wish to go then I will not visit them because I cannot take the smell.
Thank you for your feedback. I apologize if my post came off as we are telling him what to do or where to go. Where he attends college is 100% his decision and he is aware he would have to take on debt to go to UCB. This is our second child going to college and this website has been so helpful with information that I thought it may be good to see some different view points on this situation. Thank you for responding.
Absolutely SMU where he is in a special program and will have great opportunities. At UCB he just one among tens of thousands of students in an underfunded and bureaucratic public university.
Taking on debt to go to Berkeley, just so you can say he went to Berkeley? No.
He needs to tour Berkeley just to get it out of his system. The issue with my kids and visiting Berkeley was their happiness quotient. Our children looked at the faces of the students while visiting there, and a lot of them looked stressed and unhappy.
(Our middle daughter, a recruited athlete, ran into one of the top tennis players in the state, who she played with on the tennis “circuit”, during high school. They exchanged a few words and pleasantries and I didn’t recognize who it was. Later, my daughter told me who it was and I was shocked. The poor girl’s face had “broken out” significantly, with lots of acne, and there was a sadness to her face. They kept in contact and the girl was so overwhelmed by the competitiveness, that the stress made her unhappy. That’s not what we wanted for our children.)
It’s a public university funded by tax payer dollars, such that limited state dollars have to be parceled out to the UC’s. The lecture halls can be overwhelming with some frosh and sophomore subjects.
Good luck with your son as I’m sure he’s very excited to have Berkeley on his list, but you really need to visit both campuses before you drop a quarter of $1 million on a school he may not like.
Given this, there is one thing that I have said on other threads that is relevant here also.
I would not allow my daughters to take on debt for their bachelor’s degree. My oldest was frustrated by this. She did get a good merit award at a school that she liked and was able to get her bachelor’s degree on budget with no debt. Then she got her DREAM JOB. It was a great job that she LOVED. However, it paid really badly (they could pay badly because the job was that interesting). She could only take the job because she had no debt at all. This led to a second very good job (again, not paying well but exactly what she wanted to do and enough to live on). This was a huge help in her getting accepted to the dream graduate program where she is studying right now.
My younger daughter agreed with the idea of avoiding debt. She found a very good affordable university that was a good fit for her. Not only did she graduate with no debt, she graduated with money in the bank from a string of internships. She was able to travel for about 3 months in Spain with the money that she had saved. Again this was only possible because she had no debt.
Taking on debt for a university degree is necessary for some students. However, avoiding debt will make things much easier down the road. First jobs often pay badly. The ability for a new university graduate to be fully self supporting is a big deal for both the parents and the recent graduate.
And SMU is a very good school. SMU with a free ride is a great opportunity. I expect that your child has earned this opportunity through a lot of hard work up to this point.
SMU full ride is amazing!
I would say “How is that even a question?”… unless there’s something with SMU or TX that your child would be uncomfortable about and/or is not too keen on AND there is another choice… so:
Are there other colleges than UCB full cost OOS though?