<p>What a difficult situation. As a parent, I am making notes to be sure to communicate clearly with my children on this matter (I think that I am already but I will make really sure)...</p>
<p>Perhaps you should simply assume the worst case - that they will contribute nothing and chose accordingly. If they pleasantly surprise you, then you end up with less in loans...</p>
<p>I can understand your concerns, question_quest. You were extremely responsible in choosing a lower cost UG program, saving your parents $$ when they didn't make clear upfront what they could afford or wished to pay and even encouraged you to reach for very expensive UG options. If the sole reason you chose the less expensive UG school was to "bank" $$ for future grad school plans, you must feel let down now. </p>
<p>Parents are not always clear themselves on how they feel about spending their hard earned money. At some point, spending $ on education costs seems feasible, at other times, the financial picture is more challenging. As has been mentioned above, older parents can suddenly see their financial picture in a less rosy light, especially in today's economy. And any current investing and saving strategies they must now fund so that they will <em>not</em> end up living with their grown kids after retirement is part of their responsibility, too.</p>
<p>And to add to this unknown, it sounds like certain career paths are more approved-of in your house. Law school, for example, might warrant their continued financial support? This could certainly hurt your feelings, as you try to find yourself and define your adult goals and it seems your family disapproves They most likely are thinking of the comfort of your future and are concerned about your ability to support yourself well. You may not share their concerns, but their ambivalence about paying for grad school is an indication of how families sometimes influence/ control their grown children using or withholding financial backing. </p>
<p>So the big picture is--are you ready to make your own plans and pay for them? Parents are not required to pay for any higher education. Many educated middle class parents want to help their children go to college if they can afford it, but it is a gift--not an entitlement. Some believe the student gains more by taking part in financing their own college. Even for UG, there are community colleges, the idea of living at home, and loans. It is the parents' money, so they can certainly use it however they wish. This is even more true as the student gets older. Not to say it wouldn't be wonderful if your parents had a more unconditional approach to helping you through your education. </p>
<p>But if you choose to be independent and make your own plans, it may require you find a grown-up way to finance those plans. Many people take off a year or two to work and save money for grad school. Some find, in that break, they get an even clearer idea of what kind of future they want after they've lived in the "real world" on their own budget. If you are re-committed to follow your MSW plans at that time, perhaps your parents would begin to accept your choice and even offer to help you pay for school?</p>
<p>Good luck to you. This is just a "bump" in your road. You sound like you will be very successful no matter how this turns out.</p>
<p>We are paying the tuition for our daughter so that she doesn't graduate with any debt. She chose the expensive route for college and the agreement was that our financial responsibility ends when she graduates. She wants to go to medical school and will take out loans for this (we will help with what we can). I don't know of ANY medical schools that don't take into account parental income. Perhaps someone here can point out one that doesn't.</p>
<p>We know a number of students who took the less expensive undergrad option. Their parents did save money on their college expenses. BUT some of these families did other things for their students while they were undergrads...things like..nice vacations, buying a car or even letting the student use a car the family owned, gave an allowance for spending money, purchased all other things (books, clothes, food, etc). Some of these students were able to do unpaid internships instead of working all summer long. Many did study abroad and traveled while they were abroad as well. </p>
<p>We don't know if the OP's parents made financial contributions other than for college...that they might not have been able to make if the OP had attended a more expensive school.</p>
<p>I need to correct post #6. It seems I may have been trained incorrectly (thanks to a fellow CC'er for pointing it out). It appears that parents are able to consider a grad student in their household size and # in college FOR A SIBLING'S FAFSA if they provide at least 1/2 the support for the grad student. I was in a training session where we were told that can't happen ... but the research I just did indicates it may well be allowed. I would say check with your college to be on the safe side if your parents are going to put a grad school brother or sister in HH size/# in college on your FAFSA. </p>
<p>I don't want to be the bearer of incorrect info!</p>
<p>I don't know how medical schools offer financial aid and scholarship but I know a few of my S's friends have full tuition paid offers from several medical schools and these include some Ivies.</p>
<p>I have physical reasons for wanting to go straight to grad. school--I can't walk, and a lot of BSW jobs require home visits. I considered applying for the Title IV-E (child welfare grant) grant but was turned down due to the lack of an accessible Title IV-E practicum in the city I'm in--or possibly at all. MSW work is more clinical, more sedantary, and that's what I NEED in a job. Plus, clinical work is "where my heart is," so to speak.</p>
<p>My parents have always been very good to me, and I'm grateful for that. They paid for books the first two years... They come up to visit me and take me out to eat when they do, but that has always been at their bequest, not mine (I've always asked them to stay home and save money)... I've tried to save money--got a job, refused to get someone to do my landuary,etc... I've never been abroad, even though I had numerous offers to go Japan in high school. Last summer, I took a low paying internship and insisted fiercely that my parents NOT give me money. I've spent my summers either internshiping or studying [parents did pay for that, and I'm grateful], and most menial summer jobs are impossible for me to hold (again, that walking thing). When I joined my sorority, I downgraded my meal plan to try to help make up the cost of dues and offered to pay the dues myself (parents insisted). I've even offered to drop my sorority, though I love my sisters dearly. Whenever I've asked my parents to upload money to my school account, I've always reminded them to take it out of my bank account (though sometimes they don't). I don't buy fancy clothes, though I do go through a lot shoes because I drag my feet. I don't drive and so I don't have a car. I live in a more expensive dorm because it's the only accessible option. I'm lucky, yes, I admit that...</p>
<p>I was going to call my parents and hash this out tonight, but I called, and they were in bed, so I'll call back tomorrow.</p>
<p>Why do you all think I'm being unreasonable? Is it more acceptable to blow money on undergraduate education?</p>
<p>Oh, and just to clarify: I know there are much bigger things in the scheme of life (health, God, etc.), but still, this matters to me...</p>
<p>
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Why do you all think I'm being unreasonable?
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</p>
<p>We're just being practical...and reading the writing on the wall. Your parents haven't responded in a positive manner to your hints/requests for post-UG support. It seems obvious that your parents don't agree on the issue and have been stonewalling you. You have no standing to demand that they provide such financing. It is solely within their discretion to do so.</p>
<p>The practical thing to do is to move forward with your own financing plans. I suspect that your mother will slip you some bucks along the way. Maybe later your parents will help you pay down your loans. But you really can't count on that and should plan as if you will be paying the loans off yourself.</p>
<p>This is a response to # and kelsmom's comments re being able to count having a graduate student towards a sibling's undergraduate FAFSA.</p>
<p>As our D was researching grad schools, we looked into this issue since she has a brother now a senior in college. His school DOES NOT count any graduate student in the family on the FAFSA. Whether we supported our graduate student D or not, his school only based aid on him. We learned this is a very specific, school-by-school decision. I should clarify that S is in a private, not public, university. This decision obviously also affected our ability to support his graduate student sister. </p>
<p>I also want to say that although D did have a full tuition scholarship as an undergrad, we still had to spend alot of funds for room, board, etc. We also supported her during summers when she did not-for-pay internships in her field. Each family, as has been mentioned, has to piece together the best financial plan they can.</p>
<p>My parents are married and have totally joint finances...</p>
<p>UPDATE: I spoke to them tonight and they both said that they would "help out" with grad school to whatever I need and they can do. :)</p>
<p>Great news... glad that you three have been able to have that talk and that things are a little clearer for you</p>
<p>Sounds like a positive qualified response--which is better than what you had yesterday. Be sure to keep them in the loop about expenses so that you can find what what they can and cannot do before you have to make decisions.</p>
<p>Yeah, the lack of clarity, either way, was really what was bugging me...</p>
<p>The lack of clarity probably stemmed from the fact that parting with huge amounts of money is something many of us parents aren't in any hurry to do ... and committing to it is (almost) as difficult! :)</p>