It has been rough. I think it bothers me more than it bothers him sometimes because I know what it’s supposed to be like, you know? I remember going to those large 1st year lectures and settling in and seeing the same faces every class because you tend to sit in same part of the lecture hall, and eating in cafeteria with friends, hanging out in common areas of the dorm laughing with other students, forming study groups with the kids you end up sitting next to in class, walking into your friends’ dorm Room to shoot the ■■■■ and end up staying 2 hours, going to football games and being in the rowdy student section for the 1st time, tailgating all day Saturday in the fall and walking down State street in a mass of humanity with a band playing and everyone hyped for the game. At least my son has had the big house experience numerous times. My husband has season tickets and my son has gone to AA for games every year since he was a toddler. He KNOWS what that is supposed to be like. It was finally his turn to be rattling his keys in that student section that he has eyed happily his entire life. I just mourn for everything he has missed. And worry about the things my daughters will miss next year.
But also, he could have stayed at home this semester. There was no real compelling reason for him to go back, and he did choose to go back, so that’s something. He didn’t have to do that, so when I am feeling down about everything, I tell myself if it was truly awful and unbearable, he would have just stayed home and done school from here. So, maybe there are many positive things that I don’t necessarily hear about. Along with not being an extrovert, getting details from him about anything is like pulling teeth, so it could be going much better than I know.
So imagine our seniors missing out on all of that, PLUS all that they missed out on during their junior and senior years, some of which your S also missed out on. Proms, graduations, trips… Even the yearbook is a joke this year! The past year has been horrible, I need her to land someplace where things are more normal than not.
Boys tend to keep to themselves. Hard to get them to react is my experience… Keep something in mind. This is his experience. Not what experience we went through. It’s their new normal and something they will remember their whole lives. Plus… Not every kids college experience is the "best time of their lives… We stopped saying that kinda thing years ago… He will be fine…
I think we’re all feeling that. One of my older kids is starting to hear rumblings that many kids are still going to opt for Gap years from this class because things still won’t be 100% normal next year and they want the full 4 year normal experience. I get that. Even my twins who love college are bummed that things aren’t not quite as normal as they can be. But a lot of their complaints are more superficial and they think I don’t get it since I am old and I had my “college” experience. But I get it. At the same time, they are 20 and have the rest of their lives with so many amazing things in front of them and the best is yet to come!
All things considered…we told our D to take her time in college. Use all 4 years. Or even 5. Not 6. Yes, use her DE and AP credits, but take other classes that she’s interested in, instead. Study abroad. Co-op. The first year is going to be a throw away as far as “traditional college experience” goes, IMO.
Coming from someone who received her AA in the same year she graduated from high school, and who received her BA 2 years later…there’s no rush. Truly. Enjoy the college experience, because adulting sucks.
It’s true and I’m trying to keep that in mind. I don’t say ANY of this stuff to him at all. I don’t say look at all you’re missing, blah blah blah. That was just me and how I’m feeling as a parent, and I keep it to myself.
When I talk to him I encourage him to seek out the things he can do, and I take a lot of solace in the fact that he doesn’t have to be there, but wants to be there anyway, so, yes, he is fine. He went skiing and to Mr. Spots yesterday, so how bad can life be?? I’d take that any day! This year is not ideal for anyone, and I hope things continue to improve. My 21 twins are already stressing about study abroad!
This is exactly what my daughter does. She came into college with almost 40 credits between AP, dual credit and having a high enough ACT score to pass out of some other requirements. That said, she wasn’t in a hurry to graduate in less than 4 years and I made it clear she didn’t need to. Her program also requires a minimum of 12 hours anyway. I told her to take classes she is truly interested in or just for fun but no rush to finish early. I see so many kids that are seniors doing that and I don’t know why. I know school isn’t what it was for them before, but they’re going to be working until at least their 70’s if not longer, so what’s the hurry really. My other daughter I tried to convince to take a leave of absence and just do something fun but she didn’t want to. She can also graduate early but she isn’t, but still it would’ve been ok if things were spread out. I hope when this is all over they will do something fantastic whether with friends, family or just for and by themselves! Or with each other!
My son was accepted to the Engineering program. Where would he find information about where to live, etc.? Is there a page he or I (parent) should be following? We are OOS and not within driving distance so we haven’t been able to visit. I wouldn’t want him to pick the wrong campus to live at, etc.
Same experience but had a double room 1st semester. The chaos of packing and looking for a place to live with 2 weeks notice of leaving before Thanksgiving was a horror show for an OOS student. They kept changing their minds about who could stay. First, only students w specific issues - then they had room but it was too late bc students had packed and decided to find other housing or just go home! At least they are testing more this semester. I don’t know what to say I wish I had a crystal ball.
I posted this on the VT thread. I thought that this message would also apply to Michigan, too.
I urge everyone to read this NYT article about this year’s admissions process.
There has always been a bit of uncertainty caused by the waitlists at highly selective colleges, which have downstream effects on everyone else.
This year the uncertainty has become an all-encompassing chaos, affected by test-optional, inability to visit schools, applicants who “don’t want to throw away their shot”, and other factors that resulted in way too many applications for too few spots. Many applicants have applied to up to 20 schools using the Common App. Some universities have elected to take advantage of this to promote their own objectives, others are just waiting for the dust to settle. That has created a wave of chaos throughout the system, as reflected in these threads on this and other boards.
All we can do as parents is love our children and take care of our own families. That means waiting, probably through the summer, for the dust to settle. It also means immediately withdrawing from schools that our children are not going to attend so that someone else can take their place (which will entail some tough talk about money, expectations and life). We are doing this for VA Tech. I hope others do this for Michigan, or whatever school for which they can’t or won’t use the acceptance.
Wow that is depressing. We will definitely do our part in withdrawing at schools we know he won’t go to ASAP. The problem is that decisions are so delayed at many because of the increase in applications - some that he feels like aren’t the best option that he’s been admitted into already may be looking a lot sweeter if he doesn’t get into his top 3 he is waiting on. You’d have thought this year would have been better odds at getting admitted to more selective schools. Let’s hope University of Michigan has a wave soon!
In previous years they mirrored Ross decision days. This year those are 2/19, 3/19 & 4/16. They didn’t come on Friday so maybe anytime between next week & 3/19.
I think the talk of 2 campuses is somewhat misleading on this thread. Yes, engineering is on north campus, but I think the most sought after and coveted dorms for freshman are in central campus, even for engineering students. I know that my son was pumped about getting south quad even though he’s an engineering major. My husband who lived in Markley was also very excited about him getting south quad (he was also an engineering major). Maybe as you get into your major sophomore through senior year, it’s nice to live closer to north campus if you are engineering, but I would not make any housing decisions based on where engineering is located for freshman year.
Omg my mom went to UM and Markley was just being built. She’s turning 80 in April. Then, my oldest did a summer program at UM maybe around 2013 and it was such a dump. The bathrooms were disgusting. When we did a tour with my daughter a few years ago I think it was finally on the hit list to being redone. I hope it has been by now, as it needed it! Btw, Cornell dorms are just as bad although a new one is opening up this year for sophs but they’re using it for one year for freshmen.
Generally speaking though for Michigan I’ve always been told you can only request a roommate but not your dorm as it’s random assignment. I think that’s great even though there are a bunch of freshman dorms in North campus and they don’t like being that far away. Is that no longer true or is this year just an exception?
I’ve hated dealing with my kid in a private dorm and worrying about where the cool place to live is so love when it’s all random.
I’d take that any day! This year is not ideal for anyone, and I hope things continue to improve. My 21 twins are already stressing about study abroad!
!!!