<p>Visiting colleges across the country this summer with my rising senior. When she goes in to tour facilities and speak to the coach, is it appropriate for the parent to be there as well. Or should she go in alone? Thanks for any help.</p>
<p>It’s fine to be present to meet the coach during the unofficial, Let her do most of the talking, though.</p>
<p>I agree. I think the coaches expect you to be there. </p>
<p>I went and met the coach with my son and then excused myself as I had my younger son to look after. These were very early visits with nothing of substance discussed. If things progress to the point where money is discussed I would want to be there.</p>
<p>I went along with my son and let him do the talking, it was helpful to get a mom’s perspective on potential coaches for us. I just was observing and listening. </p>
<p>I was told by one particular coach that they want/prefer to spend some time with the “family unit”. Said he wasn’t just recruiting our guy, he was recruiting his family…which I thought was nice. That said, I don’t necessarily agree that the kid has to do ALL the talking…but s/he definitely should have a voice in the conversations. That coach also shared that he could tell within 5 minutes of a visit if it’s Mom/Dad calling all the shots and Jr. is just along for the ride. </p>
<p>One school we looked at didn’t really include me in anything. I dropped D off and she spent the night with a team member (who was a friend from her club team). D called me the next morning to go on the campus tour with her. She had an interview to which I was most definitely not invited.</p>
<p>And guess what? She didn’t go to that school. I couldn’t really talk to her about it that much because they hadn’t included me. Academically, and by reputation, a much superior school than where she’s going but I think they blew it by putting it all on my daughter. She was 16, what did she know?</p>
<p>At the next school, it was unclear whether parents were invited or not, but when I said I was going anyway (we live 2.5 hours away so wouldn’t have made sense to drive there and back several times), the coach included me. In fact, all 5 recruits had a parent, we let the kids go off to dinner and a game with the coach, then the interviews with the coach took place the next day. It was a very nice mix of time.</p>
<p>My husband went along (I had to work) but they had seemed to be expecting a parent to be there - it’s the OVs where we are not welcome! One was an invite to an informal but planned reception at the school’s boathouse (son is a recruited rower). DH talked to all coaches asking a few of the need to know questions. THey were definitely NOT interested in talking to him though. He was merely son’s chauffeur. We used the occasion to go on other UVs and it was worth it - we learned candidly what were good fits and we must have done okay even though we are definitely not pro “schmoozers” and are instead super shy, because son was asked back for all 5 OVs he could take by recruiting rules. Happily going HPY this august.</p>
<p>Thank you all for your replies. I learn so much from this forum.</p>