I feel like we’ll kind of have to! We were trying to decide if it made sense to visit in December, but then we thought maybe she won’t get in anywhere, so we’ll save the money and see if she has choices in March to visit in early April.
I think you’re right about admissions events in the fall. Let’s hope more schools host some that aren’t at ungodly hours our time like the recent ones have been (we have still gotten ourselves up and to the computer for them, but it’s not my favorite!)
I’d still visit NMH if you can. I know the school offers a lot of online presentations and some are of so-so quality. However it definitely checks the super nice community, theater, and XC boxes. A negative for nearby family would be how difficult it is to get to the campus.
This was our reality too last application season - insane hours for virtual tours, webinars, meetings
Interviews 9pm. 10, 11 - I think I had my parent portion for one school at 1230am
I was barely conscious!
I’m seconding the recommendation about Williston from @Class2025Parent.
My DS is graduating from Williston in 2 weeks, and his experience over 4 years has been terrific.
He’s a theater kid who has been in every mainstage production offered, and the theater department is terrific. The director has a PhD from Yale.
Williston’s cross country team is strong. Gabby Thomas, who was on Williston’s cross country team before she went to Harvard, just won silver and bronze medals in the Olympics last summer. There’s plenty of room on the team for runners who aren’t that fast.
We’ve found the school community to be a really great environment. It’s not a pressure cooker, and it doesn’t produce cookie-cutter students. There are opportunities for students to pursue independent work and extracurriculars to help each one become the best they can be.
Did you look at Dana Hall ?
Did you check out Emma Willard? They have amazing programs! Plus one of the most beautiful campus settings in the USA. They also offer alternative dorm life for students who are vegan and/or who want health-focused lifestyle. Inclusive, diverse, and welcoming community.
We haven’t looked at Dana Hall, but I can put it on the list. @Golfgr8 - yes, Emma Willard is on her list. It’s probably her second favorite after initial research. But we are trying to reserve some reactions and keep open before visiting campuses as impressions can certainly change.
@RoonilWazlib99 , if you can find any kids at BS through your expat community that your D could talk to, it could be really helpful in getting a read on culture. Most students are happy when they can be themselves and have friends who are their people.
There really are different dominant cultures at different schools. Some kids function just fine outside of that, others may have a strong need to be more aligned with it. That’s probably a productive convention to have with your D – what would make her happy and what are her expectations?
Could prompt some perspective of what she’s looking for while you continue to do this deeper dive.
When we had this discussion about “why” boarding school and what she hopes it will be like/expectations, she has said she wants:
Seasons (we live in a tropical climate and she really misses the weather and seasons). Particularly for XC - it is a slog to do long runs in 90+ degree weather with 70+% humidity.
A kind, inclusive community. She wants to make good friends and have fun outside of classes. She gave the example of she doesn’t want to be in a place where kids are not willing to help each other with homework because they want to make sure no one else gets a good grade. She wants the opposite of that.
Lots of weekend activities and school clubs. She wants to do a lot and while she knows she is going to have to get choosy because of the amount of work she will have, she wants to be able to try new things and do fun activities.
“A good education” - for her, she said this means a variety of classes, but also teachers that are highly competent in their subject areas. She has a couple of teachers right now that cannot answer the questions she is asking. Some structure (basically, she will have the required courses to meet the entry requirements of any college), but also the chance for electives. Hands-on science.
Balance between academics and outside life. She wants a school that recognizes that the kids are not academic robots and they need other activities and time to enjoy them.
Beautiful, natural campus for running and just living in.
From mom: I am NOT looking for a “bro” culture if that makes sense. I’m not sure she would do well with a school that has a majority of wealthy NYC and CT kids. I think a more down-to-earth culture would suit her well. While we are not going to be asking for FA, she has not been raised in a way that she gets everything and feels entitled to the world.
Hope that helps!
A few of the ones on your long list above are filled with wealthy, entitled NYC/CT kids and bro culture and def not community/ nurturing kind of places. Happy to continue our PM discussion on our observations and our consultants commentaries on some of these.
Please and thank you! 
Sent as DM.
I saw that Westover was on your to-research list!! I’m a current sophomore at Westover and I’m loving it, so if you have any questions, let me know (:
@mondaydevil , so happy to see you here and even happier that you are loving Westover!
Hi there! My DD is currently a Freshman at Middlesex and is very much enjoying it both for the community and the academics. The parents we have met at various weekends are warm, and even though we live far away, we have gotten to know a handful of my daughter’s friends’ parents.
She chose Middlesex partially for location because it was near a town she could visit and shop in regularly (Concord), near a city she could get to every so often (and near a major airport). She also considered the fact that with Saturday classes, the work load is spread out over 6 days and the entire student body is present 6 out of 7 days per week.
She had her first foray into the theatre program this spring with the school theater trip to London over Spring Break (8 shows in 7 days!) and with a supporting role in the musical this spring. She adores the theatre director and the technical director at the school; they are both dynamic individuals.
She likes the fact that though she is not overly athletic she can still participate in sports (and actually has to). The XC team this past year were undefeated. The teams my daughter has been involved with are supportive of each other though not always as successful as the XC team was!
Middlesex allows her to join a singing group, perform in a theatre production and play a JV/Varsity sport all at the same time. Though she was VERY busy doing all that this spring along with clubs etc., she loved the outlets all these activities provided.
She has some advanced classes and that has made the work challenging (PreCalc & French 32 this semester). She very much respects her teachers, some she “likes” more than others. But all are readily available for help. She says that students are kind and want to help each other with work either through Peer Tutoring or just in the dorms (they have vertical housing).
We are very happy with the experience she has had so far at MX and would recommend it to someone looking at boarding schools in NE. Let me know if I can answer any other specific questions you and your daughter have. Good luck with your search.
After much consideration, I think this is going to be our visit list for the week we are able to visit schools (and in no particular order of preference):
Proctor
Holderness (we picked one school to visit that required religious services just to be sure it was a nonstarter. This was the easiest to fit in the schedule)
Middlesex
Tabor
NMH (Similar to Holderness, even though our daughter ranked it the lowest so far of all the schools she has researched, it was either NMH or Deerfield to fit in a northern MA school and NMH will likely be a better fit for her than Deerfield if either will be a fit)
Miss Porter’s
Suffield
Berkshire
Millbrook
Emma Willard
Williston Northampton
I reserve the right to change our mind at any time, though! 
This process is already exhausting and we haven’t even scratched the surface yet. Kudos to all you parents that have done this multiple times!
Aaaaand, I was wrong. I assumed based on my research what she would like when she looked and I was wrong. 
(Holderness and Williston Northampton were not as liked as I thought they would be).
I’ll update once we actually get visits scheduled. 
It was actually our pediatrician that first suggested boarding school to my son. For a gifted kid that had already done a lot of traveling with his previous school, she thought it was much more developmentally, socially and educationally appropriate than what he could access living at home.
We are in contact almost daily and our communication is probably less rushed and more meaningful than when we only saw each other as he was running out the door for practice or coming home tired after a long day and a long commute only to have to then start homework. No one has ever issued a mandate about limiting communication although there was some “advice” given about letting your student settle in and have a chance to bond with friends rather than being on the phone with their parents during those important student bonding times.
As for my teenager snuggling up to me and being read to, those times are over. As much as I may want it, he is ready to move on and assert some independence which is an important developmental step. A step too many parents are not willing to let their kids make and it results in disaster when a child (or more likely a parent) that has not been able to separate in a meaningful, developmentally appropriate way goes off to college.
While you may have done “research” on a topic you are clearly biased about, I see the results of parents not letting their children grow up, take responsibility, form relationships outside of the family and being shielded from reality every day and it isn’t pretty.
While your daughter will be far from her family at home, know that international students are well looked after at boarding schools. Staff will keep an extra eye out for her and they are also masterful at assigning roommates. There is a great chance that your daughter will quickly find her “family away from home” where she will always be welcomed on the shorter school breaks. Most international students in DS school are looked at as a “bonus” child of either their roommate’s or BFF’s family. Even kids that aren’t international but live far away from DS school know that it’s an open invitation at our home. And now that some are graduating, they know it stands even if DS isn’t home at the time.
Most (all?) schools will help an international student find a family to stay with, if they don’t have an invitation from friends.