I just realized that maybe you were referring to me saying Millbrook was “in a lower tier”. What I meant was in my daughter’s ranking. Not in any sense of the inherent value of the school! Same for Pomfret. The first three I listed are her top choices right now. Millbrook and Pomfret are on the visit list for now, but just didn’t hit her the same way as those other three. Sorry for the confusion!
I’m going to edit my post so it doesn’t seem like I’m calling those schools “less than”!
No worries, I did think you meant lower down on the academic/prestige front. I completely agree with you, the school that will allow her to flourish and become her best self is the right school for her.
FYI regarding Groton’s religious requirement. I agree it’s ridiculous. But it isn’t actually seen as religious by most of the kids. For instance mine does Buddhism something and basically sleeps. It’s zero religion and either nap or mindfulness in structure. I only mention it because if she liked Middlesex, groton is extremely similar.
She LOVED Middlesex. 
Are the four-times-weekly chapel services required at Groton? They are described as inclusive, but also mention that they usually start with prayers and end with hymns. I think doing that four times a week would be a dealbreaker for my kid. But it’s not clear if you have to go . . .
I think you have to go. It never occurred to my super non believing kid to ask to opt out so I have no idea if it’s possible. He says he likes the music. But yes they are “chapel.” Aka early nap.
Our daughter is a sophomore at Middlesex and loves it.
It really is a special school, with a strong sense of community and an appreciation for the individual student. It’s a good combination of tradition and looking forward. We also love the school and have had a great time meeting other families/faculty at parents’ weekend.
It sounds like Middlesex has a lot of the things your daughter is looking for.
Second the vote for Kent! It has been an amazing experience for our DD and fits the vibe of what the OP is looking for. Healthy, intentional, happy and supportive culture of kindness. Strongly recommend adding Kent to your list to research further.
I have a Deerfield student who started last year as a Junior and immediately was welcomed. The school has a strong sense of community. The sit-down meals rotate table assignments so that kids of all grades get to meet and interact. There is a club for anything and if they don’t have it, you can start one. There are tons of planned activities every weekend, large boarding population and kids support all of the sports teams, plays, music and dance performances. You can see many of the performances on YouTube or Vimeo. I watched the fall play with my kiddo over Christmas and it was excellent. If you have any specific Deerfield questions I am happy to answer.
I’d get on any boarding school campus as fast as possible—the feeling was very different from any online videos. Even check out schools you’re not very excited about at first, if it’s convenient.
My kid had a list developed but schools really rose or declined based on that tour.
Just wanted to add to the conversation that it seems like you are headed in the right direction, keeping an open mind in this early draft of the school list. Your list right now is really varied, culturally speaking, however. I can’t imagine NMH lovers would love St. Marks, for instance. Concord and putney fans probably aren’t Westminster’s crowd. I am generalizing for sure, but from where I sit, I can’t seem to get a read on what kind of school might be a good fit for your family. So, I would strongly suggest visiting a few in person. Stepping foot on campus gives you a LOT of information very quickly. Even just visiting 5-6 schools might inform you in such a way that you can sift through websites and virtual visits more effectively. To be sure, there is lots of great stuff about all of those schools! But they are very different.
The schools we have on the list “to be researched” made it there because they are in New England and have boarding and a XC team/theatre program. We know nothing about culture at different schools which is what I’m hoping to get some feedback on here.
As for NMH, our daughter really didn’t like it, as I mentioned, so maybe St. Mark’s would be a good fit! For the others, there may be some that drop off the list very quickly once she gets to researching. But hopefully we can have some light shed on the cultures by some families here. And I’ll definitely keep posting as the list is refined so people can get a better sense of what is resonating with her. Perhaps I posted too early and confused people with our broad list of schools that just meet the general geographic and basic activity criteria.
As mentioned, we are overseas, so really relying a lot on websites, including CC, to give us some idea. We are attending virtual sessions as well, but hopeful users here can give us some insights. We will be in the US and able to visit schools in mid-June, but no students will be on campus, so still not ideal, but it is what it is.
hi there! you have a great and very extensive list with so many fantastic options that your daughter will find a school that is right for her. I have two kiddos in BS- my step-daughter is at Andover, finishing up her first year and it is exactly the right place for her and she is excelling. But I could not imagine my son at Andover- it would eat him up! So that’s just a balanced perspective of knowing that there is a school for each kid out there.
The only school I will really weigh in on is Williston because that is where my son decided on and will enter as a 10th grader in the fall. He wanted a place where he would be a part of a true community, be challenged, have opportunities to be in athletics and the performing arts and attend a school that has a campus that isn’t too spread out (with nature around because we are city dwellers and he has spent his life in schools mostly urban setting…)
So why Williston?
Community. What was important to him was a strong sense of community, not too big that he would feel like one of many. For him it was exactly the right vibe. Friendly students, everyone says hi to each other, the dorms are really a center of activity and the dorm parents are a huge part of that. I was blown away by all of the virtual events we attended and due to covid, we didn’t actually set foot on campus until he was accepted! The “re-visit” day was amazing- he is a pretty low key kid who doesn’t get overly enthusiastic, but he said “it was awesome!” The faculty we met with, the classes we sat in on and the interaction with the student ambassadors were the best we experienced.
Campus facilities- incredible dorms, classrooms, athletic and arts. Beautiful campus nestled into the town of Easthampton but surrounded by green!
Opportunity to find yourself. There wasn’t “one type” of Williston student. This was appealing because there are so many options in terms of classes, clubs, activities, etc. You don’t have to be one version of yourself or who you think you should be. It doesn’t feel like a pressure cooker at all.
Good luck in your search!
Are you exclusively looking at New England? George School in PA has boarding, a great theater program, a very welcoming community, and an XC team.
Yes, only New England and two NY schools that are within striking distance of family members (Emma Willard and Millbrook) - no PA or NJ schools. We decided that being multiple international flights away with potential difficulties to get to a school or back home, we want our daughter to be close enough to family members that can easily help in a pinch.
It doesn’t pop up much around here for some reason that is not clear to me, but you should include Peddie in your research. I think you will find that it checks a lot of your boxes.
We have removed all PA/NJ/other mid-Atlantic states from the search. Just focusing on New England at this point (and as mentioned, two upstate NY schools as they are close enough to family that can help out in a pinch).
Thanks so much for this! We will definitely keep it on the list for her to research!
Ah I had forgotten about you being out of the country.
I think you’ll be able to learn a lot doing admissions events virtually this fall and the more schools you see, the faster you will be able to capture culture and feel.
Will you plan on doing revisits in person in April do you think?