<p>Consider this a spinoff of the "How many performance majors find jobs?" thread where current and former students of the musical arts (and parents of same) can share some of their more memorable paying gig experiences. </p>
<p>I'll start.</p>
<p>DS1 is a trombonist. While pursuing his undergrad degree, he was summoned to the admin office and was asked if he'd be interested in performing at a funeral. At first he thought he would be part of a brass ensemble (think New Orleans cemetery parades, dirges and ragtime), but the request was for a soloist. Trombones rarely get solo gigs, and certainly not for funerals. </p>
<p>Seemed that the deceased himself was a trombonist who had played in big bands years ago. His family wanted to have his trademark tune played at the conclusion of the church ceremony, on trombone, of course. DS was glad to oblige, but wasn't quite sure how to perform the piece, as it certainly wasn't written to be played as church music. Anyway, he pulled it off and the family seemed appreciative, although during the service he felt a little strange standing around with his horn. </p>
<p>I was in a music video starring Steve Perry singing the title song of a feature-length cartoon Warner Bros. had created to try and compete with Disney. For the video, they wanted these shots of him singing from a podium, surrounded by “studio musicians” who were jamming with him for the recording. </p>
<p>Thing is, getting actual studio musicians to add a film appearance onto their recording contract is just too expensive (hence the typically cringe-inducing “violinists” you see in many movies that bear absolutely no resemblance to the soundtrack—I recall Amadeus, Bride of the Wind, and the new Get Smart being notable exceptions). So Sony just hired a bunch of USC kids to go and literally lip synch a prerecorded song. We look like we’re playing the actual song, because we are (we had the sheet music and everything), but the whole time they played the real song over monitors to keep us in check. They even hired a conductor to rehearse us for 20 minutes prior to the first shot. (as an aspiring conductor, I was very jealous and curious as to how to get that gig). </p>
<p>Great catered food, 11 hour film shoot (I skipped classes), got to sit next to Yanni’s cellist, wasn’t hipster enough in my regular clothes so was actually taken to wardrobe (given some kind of hat, could have actually been a freaking BERET come to think of it), and it all took place on the Sony picture lot, on the same sound stage where Rozsa recorded Ben-Hur. Oh and in between shots Steve Perry would actually jam with us, and we played pickup versions of Stand By Me and a little Hendrix. Got something like $400 for the day. </p>
<p>My life has been kind of uneven since this experience. </p>
<p>We have had quite a few over the years, but one in particular from over twenty years ago lingers in the mind. I recall performing with an early music group at an outdoor summer music festival where the headliner was Pete Seeger. Pete had to leave early for a concert somewhere else that evening, so he was scheduled mid-afternoon on the main stage, in fact just before our set. (Not many early music groups can say that Pete Seeger opened for them.) </p>
<p>The stage was near a decent-sized river and, about halfway through our set, a bagpipe band packed to the gills on a rather overloaded pontoon boat came floating along. I think some of the pipers must have been packed to the gills themselves with single malt. They were supposed to come through as our set ended, but Pete had told more than the usual number of stories and played a couple of encores and nobody thought to tell them that things were running behind. Now, a couple of dozen highland bagpipes backed by several drums are a good bit louder than a couple of recorders and a viola da gamba, even with us amplified and them not, so we had little recourse but to join them in Scotland The Brave as they got within range.</p>
<p>As they were approaching the dock where they were supposed to disembark and make their grand entrance marching up to the stage, a sudden shift in the wind or an eddy in the current caused whoever was at the helm to throttle up the engines to compensate so that they would not go hard into the dock. This in turn caused a bit of a wake that immediately reflected back, suddenly and unexpectedly causing the boat to list to starboard. Now the band was packed in tight to begin with, the boat was riding perilously low in the water due to being overloaded, and many of these guys would have been a bit wobbly even on a stable platform.</p>
<p>The skirl of the pipes has been called an acquired taste under the best of circumstances. The sounds that emerged from pipes and pipers when several of the least agile were pitched armpit-deep into cold, muddy water cannot be described in mere words. I think we somehow managed to complete our set as they were being fished out, but the audience’s attention was elsewhere. I cannot recall having been more thoroughly upstaged before or since.</p>
<p>I thought Nick Nightingale’s organ gig in “Eyes Wide Shut” a bit on the unconventional side.</p>
<p>BassDad, I have to ask how stiff was the wind, and were the pipers kilted in the traditional manner? I have the vision of the antithesis of a Marilyn Monroe moment here.</p>
<p>As a 20-something pink haired hipster in Hollywood, my claim to fame: “Im not a singer, but I play one on TV”. You will find me in several EARLY Mtv videos lip syncing REALLY awful '80s pop music.
DD has a tip for all you young undergrad VP majors…work the National Anthem! She has made herself the “go-to-girl” for that hallowed song and has had about 15 opportunities to sing the anthem at professional sporting events and graduations in the last year alone. Makes between 250 to 400 for just an hour of work (with no rehearsal time.) Its an easy gig for a young singer (and sometimes ya get to see a free game!)</p>
<p>My S is home for a couple weeks between school and festival, so I asked him what was his weirdest. </p>
<p>His freshman year he was hired along with 19 other Juilliard students, for a clapping concert. An “artist” in the community put on a concert of famous speeches - presidents, activists, Hitler, etc. Instead of quoting the words of the speech, she attempted to show instead, the audience response.</p>
<p>The students had an hour rehearsal, in which they practiced clapping according to rhythms the artist had written out (quarter notes, eighth notes, and triplets only.) Only problem was the concert was over an hour long, so much of it was sight-reading. Some students had “solos”. S had a “duet.” S said most of it sounded the same, and he has no idea if the artist achieved what she wanted.</p>
<p>These lads were quite lavishly kilted, but the wind that day was not up to the task of lifting several pounds of worsted wool above the knees, particularly once the fabric got wet.</p>
<p>That reminds me of another. I once went with a church choir to sing Christmas carols at a local hospital. We chose this particular hospital because one of our members worked there as a nurse and she was in the middle of a shift when we arrived. Her colleagues encouraged her to sing with us when we visited her ward.</p>
<p>As we were walking down the hall to a find suitable place to stand, we passed the door of one notoriously difficult patient named Peter. Quite oblivious to the traffic in the hall, he was walking about his room wearing only the standard issue hospital gown, which he had managed to put on backwards. One of the other nurses called out to us, “Is Peter up?” to which the instant response was “Yes, in more ways than one.”</p>
<p>Son has been playing his cello for rock bands. Last summer he got a call to play for a band at a festival in Central Park. No rehearsals. They wanted him to listen to the music online and be prepared to play with the band. They agreed to $75 for 15-20 minutes of performance. Son was a bit nervous with no rehearsal and wanting to make a good impression. I called him after to ask him about the gig. </p>
<p>Turns out he played at Poli fest, a festival for people of all stripes who are interested in sex with multiple partners. He enjoyed playing with the group and said he got to see the best drag queen MC he had ever seen. I asked him if he had gotten paid. He said yes, he was paid cash and had even received a bonus… a bag of sex toys!</p>
<p>“had even received a bonus… a bag of sex toys!”</p>
<pre><code>That’s going to be one interesting tax return. The IRS always wants their “pound of flesh” or in this case polyurethane. So be sure he throws at least one of them in the envelope with the his 1040.
</code></pre>
<p>BassDad, with regard to Mr. Seeger - he is a fairly common sight here in the Hudson Valley. A few years ago, during a long commute home from NYC, I found myself sitting in the same railroad car as this legend, who was traveling with his banjo. A young man, attempting to be friendly but obviously having no clue who he was talking to, pointed to the case and asked “So, you play that thing much?” </p>
<p>To which Mr. Seeger smiled and politely replied, “Some. Not as much as I used to.”</p>