Update...

<p>Gigs up kid.</p>

<p>Come on guys, Jonathan is a confused 8th grader without a lot of parental support. Sounds like leaving home would be a new thing for him and mom.</p>

<p>Jonathan, on the other hand, I see their point. Time to make some decisions and get the support of your parents if you can. You know what the schools have to offer, either it's worth fighting for to you or not.</p>

<p>Then it's time to get realistic. This is not college with lots of federal financial aid floating out there. Chances of whites/Asians getting significant aid at a top prep are slim unless they are out there exceptional. Going a tier down makes things more probable and the schools are still great. And you might just get lucky at your first choice anyway!</p>

<p>So buck up and make the hard choices. Get yout parents to visit, it will make them understand.</p>

<p>Or decide to stay home but apply to several day schools, they usually have far fewer aid dollars than boarding schools.</p>

<p>I agree with goaliedad that bs applications are a non-starter until Jonathan's mother is on side. I agree with suze that getting her on side is beyond Jonathan's ability to effect and with that he is grasping at straws. I feel bad about that as after all this I think he should be embracing his dream as reality rather than be clutching at straws. Anyway, if he is serious about St. Paul's, his mother should phone the director of admissions and ask to be put in contact with some parental 'admissions ambassadors" i.e., parents who have children at the school and who could provide some real reassurance that Jonathan could thrive there.</p>

<p>I hope you don't mind if I add my 2 cents worth .... </p>

<p>I am a bit surprised (maybe I shouldn't be, given the title of the thread) that J seems to be getting nearly universal support for the idea of attending a b.s., then is told to gently 'shape up' when he reports what's going on at home. I'm no expert - merely a parent - but when I read his posts, not only he is confused about what he wants, he has no parental support or help in clarifying what he needs/wants. If his applications come across the way these posts do, no b.s. would accept him. He doesn't seem to me to be the kind of kid who would survive on his own far from home. I do think his applications should reflect who he is - not the kind of candidate a b.s. would accept. An honest process would recognize that. B.S. is not for everyone. I can't imagine the postings that would result if he were to enlarge his stage to include a b.s. </p>

<p>On the other hand, denial at an elite b.s. is not an intellectual death sentence. I would encourage J to pursue his local privates, but I wouldn't hold out much hope because of his need for financial aid. If both parents aren't fully cooperative in that application process, schools will probably move on to the application with complete information. J is very adept at using the internet and I'm sure he can find ways to supplement his public school education (distance learning, etc.) </p>

<p>There are so many applicants who want to be at b.s., who have full support from both parents and who can write the check. A family that comes in without a unified game plan doesn't stand a chance. In my opinion. I hope that by trying to put out a fire I'm not feeding the flames. </p>

<p>J - hope this doesn't sound harsh. Find something you can enjoy where you are right now.</p>

<p>JK, if you go to Groton, who are you going to swim for? Harvard? Groton does not have a swim team! Jk, instead of looking at videos, stop! Figure out once and for all, whether your parents are on board with bs. I mean really sit down and figure it out. So much energy has gone into your trials, and we are at point one for the millionth time. I wish you well</p>

<p>Please refer to comment #81 by the esteemed s.martin up</p>

<p>
[quote]
JK, if you go to Groton, who are you going to swim for? Harvard? Groton does not have a swim team!

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Read my other post. I already said that I know Groton doesn't have a swim team. I don't plan on doing swimming in college, anyway. Where are you getting this from?</p>

<p>I did read that post. Young man it time to****orgetoffthepot.</p>

<p>What? . . .</p>

<p>lefthandofdog said it all and said it well--'the helping hand strikes again". I feel bad for all of those, myself included, who tried so hard for jonathan to throw in a strong application to what we thought were the best schools in the world but may not be right for him.</p>

<p>As demonstrated by his most recent post replying to swimming issues, JK seems to be lost among the trees while trying to find the forest. JK - PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THE PRECEEDING SENTENCE.</p>

<p>And unfortunately, we are all guilty of helping him examine the trees and not helping him to identify the forest and all the things that are necessary to have a forest - or for that matter a successful application to a boarding school, first of which is parental support.</p>

<p>JK has admitted that he doesn't have that support yet and I'd be willing to listen to what his mother tells him about why she does or does not approve of the idea. We could probably then give him things to think about and discuss with her with regards to that.</p>

<p>Beyond that, I think we all need to step away from discussing anything else about his application to a boarding school.</p>

<p>I'm sorry if it sounds harsh, but we aren't doing you any favors by entertaining your fantasy.</p>

<p>I have offered to speak to his mother. I was sronewaaled</p>

<p>The last thing I want to do is be harsh as well, BUT</p>

<p>I SECOND THE MOTION!</p>

<p>Honestly, prepparent, nothing personal here, but I'd be a little worried if my daughter had adults she met on internet sites calling me to talk about moving away from home to go to school. So maybe it is a better thing that he didn't take you up on your offer.</p>

<p>That being said, I think JK is definitely wasting a lot of help offered here due to his own inaction.</p>

<p>I'm glad you agree about stepping back until JK makes some headway with his mother, though.</p>

<p>Goeliedad, understood. Maybe I should clarify when I say speak, speak as in E-mail, to answer any questions from a parent who would never let their kids go to bs (me). However, you do have a point.</p>

<p>I have another idea. How about Jonathan speaking to a guidance counselor, school psychologist, school social worker at his current school about this whole situation- that is, an adult who is local who can give support?</p>

<p>As long as he is going to the school guidance counselor for help in addressing his issue with his mother (not getting a letter of recommendation), I think that would be a good thing.</p>

<p>I don't blame you guys for not wanting to help me anymore. I've been all over the place and I realize that. I think I'm going to wait till my ninth or tenth grade year to apply to boarding school when I am more mature and know what I want. For now, it looks like I will be applying to Greenhills, and only Greenhills, for my freshman year. If Greenhills is challenging enough for me, I will most likely stay there. If it's not, then I will definitely be applying to boarding school.</p>

<p>I'd like to thank you all for your help.</p>

<p>Many of the boarding schools you have dreamed about offer summer programs. Perhaps you can investigate a summer program for this coming summer. You can live your dream for a few weeks and get a feeling for what it would be like. A summer program is much more affordable, and you would not be away from home for very long.</p>

<p>PA doesn't have a lot of information for their summer program yet, but they say it costs $5,500! lol. I'll look more into it in a few months.</p>

<p>Now is the time to apply, they fill up. Unfortunately $5K is pretty standard for summer programs, but you can apply for aid.</p>