<p>Attend Boston University: $150k for 4 years
Attend SUNY Albany: Less than $30k after 4 years</p>
<p>My parents make between $150k and $200k per year.
I'm the only child they are financially supporting.
We live in a nice house, and have no problem paying the bills.
They don't have more than $10k in savings, and aren't in serious debt.
They contribute the maximum amounts percents of their paychecks to their retirement funds.
They are financially conservative.
Our FAFSA EFC is $36,000.</p>
<p>That said, they are strongly against me getting in to much debt. They have made it sound like they are not going to help me pay for very much of my college. They'd probably help me out <em>a little</em>, but they've made it sound like it would be mostly my responsibility.</p>
<p>What is the norm in this kind of situation? Should my family, given their financial state, be able to put me through college if they wanted to? I just want to know what other people have done, or would do in this situation. </p>
<p>I would appreciate any opinions and suggestions.</p>
<p>Hi - the problem with this type of question is that so many families have different values and priorities. I don’t feel that it is my place to say that your parents should pay more towards your education. That is really up to them. From the data you have provided, it would certainly appear that they could contribute quite a bit just from current income - but maybe they don’t feel that way. Maybe they feel that paying $150,000 and up for an undergraduate degree is a waste of moeny. The conversation you need to be having is with your parents. How much are they willing to contribute each year? If they are willing to help you out “a little” how much is that? Perhaps they put themselves through college and have strong opinions based on that experience. </p>
<p>I don’t know that there is such a thing as a “norm” for this question. I have seen a wide variety of answers to this type of question on CC. I will tell you that I personally value a good college education very highly and am presently incurring debt so that my son gets the college experience I feel he earned. And I will do the same for S2. But just because I am willing to scrimp, cut out vacations, etc., and incur debt does not mean that someone else in similar circumstances would make the same choice. I also accept the fact that 20 years from now, I may regret the financial decisions that I am making today to send my boys to college. </p>
<p>So, you see, there is no one size fits all answer. Hope you have a good, calm, rational conversation with your parents that gives you the direction you need.</p>
<p>Your parents have 10K in savings? That is not being financially conservative. The question is how much have they saved up for your college tuition. I hope it is not $0. Ask them.</p>
<p>Your parents should be contributing 36K. It would come from their savings, current income, and borrow into the future (home equity, parental loans).</p>
<p>@oldfort I don’t think they have much more than that in savings. They don’t have anything saved for my college. I meant financially conservative in that they pay off as much of their debt (car, mortage) as possible, and contribute the maximum to their retirement plans.</p>
<p>@rockvillemomThanks for your reply. I really appreciated your answer.</p>
<p>I guess I just want to know the directions that other families take that are in a similar financial situation, so I’m not completely ignorant to our options and their repercussions when I do have a serious discussion with my parents.</p>
<p>They’re currently avoiding that conversation, but that might just be because they are very private people, and don’t even like me knowing anything regarding their finances.</p>
<p>Your parents will only do what they are willing to do. I know parents who have your parents income contributing about that amount to their kids’ education. But it meant they have been saving for a while, and while their kids were in school they had minimum cable, no vacation, no fancy cell phone plan, pretty much cut everything out to put their kids through school. Your parents may have different priorities, and they are certainly entitle to them. The only issue I see is that they maybe they should have had the discussion before you applied to schools. You could have applied to schools that would offer large merit aid. SUNY certainly is a viable choice for you, so it is not like you don’t have any option here.</p>
<p>There is no “norm”. The norm for you is what your parents will contribute. This is a family decision and is completely up to them. It doesn’t matter how much money they make, how nice your house it, how much they contribute to retirement accounts. What matters is the amount THEY say they will contribute to your college education each year. To be honest…your EFC is the MINIMUM that colleges will expect from them. </p>
<p>Please talk to your parents about your college choices. If there is some very compeling reason for you to attend Boston University…and for them to assume this kind of debt…then explain that reason to them.</p>
<p>Remember too…that $150,000 in debt will have to be cosigned by someone. YOU (the student) will not be able to obtain loans in that amount in your own name. You will need to have a cosigner and usually this is your parents. If they won’t cosign for this significant debt…who will you ask to do this for you.</p>
<p>It really doesn’t matter what we think about your parents’ income and how much we think they should contribute. Your parents have figured out that they can’t/won’t contribute that much - and their lack of savings suggests that they KNOW they can’t come up with $36k per year for college (if they could, they’d have more in savings). It sounds like they pretty much live up to their earnings (except for their retirement contributions).</p>
<p>You won’t be able to borrow that much for BU, so that’s got to be off the table. Even if your parents can/will co-sign the first year or two, that doesn’t mean that they can qualify for the later years. Many of the kids who try this strategy (get parents to co-sign big loans for favorite schools) end up having to graduate at the local school because their parents can no longer qualify to co-sign loans for the later school years. The sad thing is the kid ends up with big debt to pay back and a diploma that doesn’t have the name of his fav school on it. </p>
<p>Since you say that you’ll only have to borrow $30k for the SUNY, does that mean that you’ve gotten a merit scholarship from them? Or can you commute?</p>
<p>We have a similar EFC and can’t do this for our son. We have debts we are paying down and two other children down the line we’ll have to contribute to. Also, our jobs are not secure and we feel uncomfortable taking on that amount of debt.</p>
<p>You need to get them to tell you specifically how much they can contribute (in payments and loans) so you can make a decision. They may be private and uncomfortable talking about these things with you, but it’s not a decision you can make alone.</p>
<p>And taking on huge debt (with a cosigner) is a very bad idea.</p>
<p>Even if there were a norm, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is what your parents are able and willing to do.</p>
<p>They are correct in being opposed to your taking on large amounts of debt. Perhaps they’ve learned that the hard way; in any case, $150K in loans to start your adult life would hurt you in ways you can’t even imagine right now, for years and years. It simply is not an option.</p>
<p>Many families are uncomfortable talking about money, but it needs to be done, soon and in specifics. Approach your parents respectfully, and with no sense of entitlement. Be calm, mature, and business-like. Don’t say or imply that they are obligated to kick in $36K x 4; they’re not. Don’t tell them about your friends whose parents are taking out second mortgages to pay for college. It is irrelevant, and will only put them on the defensive.</p>
<p>Let them know that you’re simply asking for information that you need in order to make a decision. All you really need is one number – how much they are willing to contribute. You don’t even need to know how much of their contribution will come from income, savings, or borrowing; that’s their decision. </p>
<p>Once you have that number, accept it with good grace, and thank them. Then make your decision accordingly.</p>
<p>The only thing I would add is some parents do change their minds after they have made their commitment. College is a 4 year investment, not one. You know your parents’ temperament better than other people. If there is chance they would withhold financial support some where down the line then I would take the cheaper school. You wouldn’t want to get stuck 2 years later with no place to go.</p>