<p>So like what the title says, I have a problem with one of my reference teachers.</p>
<p>I have known both of my references since grade eight. One was my History 12 and Model UN club sponsor teacher and the other taught me Humanities 8, English 10, and Law 12. Both know me extremely well, and have seen my growth as a individual throughout the years.</p>
<p>My History/MUN teacher is great. He wrote my Leadership in the Business World (LBW) reference letter for me and I got in, and he is a very experienced writer. He also lets me look at the letter prior to sending it in so I can make suggestions/point out things. </p>
<p>The problem is with the other teacher. She was very eager and excited to write my reference letter, and I was very happy to have her write mine. However, one of my friends (was also in her grade 8 class with me and she likes him a lot) told me that he had previously asked her for a reference for Work Experience...and she wrote him a really bad one. </p>
<p>So what do I mean by "bad"?</p>
<p>Basically, she was VERY frank and honest. To the point that it may cause more harm than good. I am sure I have made mistakes in her classes and definitely have weaknesses...so I have NO IDEA what she's going to say about me. </p>
<p>What should I do?</p>
<p>Should I quickly pull out and go to my other teacher (only taught me Comparative Civilizations 12 but also wrote my reference for LBW)? Concern is that it's already October 7th and it's a little late. Also I'm not sure if having two socials teachers write references for me is ok (applying as IR major).</p>
<p>Or should I ask to see the reference letter beforehand and maybe ask her to take out some of the more frank parts? Will that be rude? Will she even agree? This path is risquee too.</p>
<p>I really wanted her to write my reference, just because she knows me so well, but I really don't know what she will write about me. I don't really want her to unintentionally expose all my weaknesses in my reference letter. I'm freaking out a little here...can anyone give me some advice as to what they would do in my situation?</p>
<p>You definitely should NOT ask to see the letter and ask to change it. If you waived your rights to read your letters, that’s not even allowed. I would ask your GC to read it over after the teacher submits it and ask if it’s a good letter or not.</p>
<p>Definitely ask your GC to screen it for you - and no, you shouldn’t screen it yourself. Your GC can either ask her to adjust it or tell you to get another letter, their call. Or, if you feel nervous, there no reason you actually have to submit it - just ask for another one from someone else immediately so they can get started, then have your GC help decide which two of the three should be submitted.</p>
<p>How did he know what she wrote? Recommendation letters are supposed to be confidential, at least kept from the person they are written about.</p>
<p>You are in a difficult spot. You could just ask someone else for a recommendation, and then tell her “nevermind, it ends up that I have too many recommendations already”.</p>
<p>Or you could ask your GC to review all your recommendations, and tell both her and the other teacher that your GC will review them.</p>
<p>Also, it is very wise to put together a list of activities and accomplishments, as specific to their experiences with you as you can get. The more positive things you can put in their mind, the better.</p>
<p>You do realize that maybe your friend is weaker than you?</p>
<p>Some teachers in our school voluntarily shows you the reference letter before sending it in. My humanities teacher is the type to do this! I would never ask a teacher who never shows reference letters to students. My friend received the letter for work experience, not college apps as well. He decided not to ask her fr a reference for uni apps this year because of the work experience reference.</p>
<p>My GC is kind of clueless and unhelpful. To the point where I’m getting my principal to write my counselor recommendation letter for me. Whenever I talk to him, he always seems pissed off by the fact that I’m applying for US universities. I will talk to him about this though, but I doubt he will take me seriously.</p>
<p>First of all, an honest recommendation while not ideal might be just fine in the end. If some negatives are in there, then the schools will probably also believe what he/she says about your strengths. And it is OK to not be perfect when you are 18! Seems better than a generic letter.</p>
<p>Talk to your GC. I’m not exactly sure how it works. See if you can ask the third teacher and only submit the two recommendations you want with your applications.</p>
<p>GC counselors are responsible in uploading recommendations in Common App.</p>
<p>Ask him/her if the recommendation contains anything negative…glad I didn’t have such problem. Funny thing is that my AP chem teacher’s letter was really good despite the fact I pissed him off several times lol</p>
<p>@happy1 What if she says something like, “X definitely has a love for learning and is very inquisitive, but tends to sometimes dominate discussions and disregard others’ opinions. She does have very good public speaking skills though.” That’s definitely not so good I think.</p>
<p>@paul2752 I think I will try that. Her definition of “negative” may be very different from mine, though. </p>
<p>Anything that doesn’t sound good, for example
Not doing homework
Cheating(!!!)-unlikely that you did it.
Disrespectful to peers/teachers
uncooperative with others
Any thing that has “although”. For example, as @HvePassion said:“X definitely has a love for learning and is very inquisitive, but tends to sometimes dominate discussions and disregard others’ opinions. She does have very good public speaking skills though.”</p>
<p>Why not meet with this teacher and chat about her approach. I think you’re worrying too much that she’ll negate her praise. Most college recs aren’t personality assessments or critiques. Some other kid’s idea of what went wrong (and maybe it’s just an excuse) are not the info you need to make this decision. </p>