Hi Admissionado Team!
In my personal statement, I talk about a risk that I took that paid off. Should I also talk about how taking risks will help me in my career/in life? I am afraid of being too explicit and seeming like I’m being cliche, overestimating myself, or making assumptions. Thanks so much!
Hi @PiOhMy! I think it really depends how you go about it: I would hesitate to make any addition that feels, as you suggest, presumptuous or self-important. Your essay is likely to be strongest if it focuses tightly on this experience from which you learned a significant lesson about taking measured / calculated risks and explains how you internalized that lesson or let it change you, rather than extrapolating how risks will pay off in your future career.
Hi for the essays answering why I want to go to a specific college, what topics and or phrases should I avoid? And how do I make sure that those essays stand out to an admissions officer?
Thank you!
Hi @RM1,
GREAT question!
Supplemental essays are your chance to get beyond Level 1 (the rest of your application), which answers questions around the topic of, “Do we like this human being and want to know more about them?” and “Are they academically qualified for our school?”
Supplementals are at Level 2, which answers, “Are we going to benefit from this student’s presence on our campus as much as they’re going to benefit from us?”
To this end, you want to both talk about specific academic + extracurricular resources and opportunities that you hope to take advantage of at the school, and elaborate more on what you’ll contribute to the campus community given what’s available at that particular institution.
OK, so how does that translate into what or what not to write? Most schools will have a) community of amazing people b) lots of great classes and professors and a myriad of incredible opportunities c) awesome student life, and cliche supplemental essays will stick to these generalities.
Treat supplementals more like a non-corny “love letter” to the school of choice. When you think about it this way, the only phrases to “avoid” are the ones that end up sounding like you could have written them about any school. Talk as SPECIFICALLY as possible about what piques your curiosity at that school, and help us imagine how Future You might spend your days there.
You got this!
Hello, I have read that this year the admission officers will place more weight to essays and personal statements than in previous years. Thanks for the SPARC method! I hope it helps my daughter write her essays. In your opinion, what is the best way to refer to (or not mention) the pandemic in her college essays?
I think it is best to write naturally without any formulas. College Confidential has essay help if needed.
Hi @liasmom, thanks for the question! I’d say she should only mention the pandemic insofar as it’s relevant to the subject of the essay and should avoid using it as an excuse for why such-and-such wasn’t possible or didn’t work out (as, obviously, all applicants have been impacted by the pandemic). I think mentioning it can actually bolster a student’s application / essay in certain circumstances if they were able to use this context to motivate or shift their extracurricular efforts, studies, or personal growth. Say, if a student had always been involved in the sustainability council’s on-campus composting efforts, but when schooling went virtual, they launched a large scale social media effort to teach peers how to compost at home. That would be a great reason to bring the pandemic into one’s essay.
This is a very specific (and long) question so I hope you don’t mind.
My common app essay is about how my father was unemployed for a long time, my mother had a minimum-wage job, and my brother was in college so I had to open my own computer repairing business to support my family. (Prompt #2- explain hardships and what you learned from it yada yada).
My supplemental essay will be about how I’ll be able to make an impact on the college’s community (I mention my NPOs and initiatives I took in the welfare sector to help socially/economically disadvantaged people).
I was wondering if I should mention in my common app essay that my passion for working in the welfare sector stemmed from the fact that I had faced my own share of hardships due to financial issues.
The main problem here is that my common app essay is all about my computer business store and how I supported my family financially, so ending the essay saying [showing] something along the lines of " this hardship made me aware of the problems people face and inspired me to work in the welfare sector " might sound very ‘trying’ and out of place since my whole essay is about something different (computer business).
I know this is a very specific question but any feedback/advice is highly appreciated!
PS: I want to major in Political Science/Educational Studies/Public Policy or something like these majors.
Hi @Anupamrubu -
No problem! So, without seeing the actual essay text and application, the advice I can give for specific cases is limited. That said, I think that you should focus your Common App essay more on 1-2 personality traits (see SPARC 
) that you developed from having to start a business at such a young age and under enormous pressure! Based on what you’ve written here, I do not think you need to necessarily be explicit in saying, “And that’s why I want to major in _____” at the end. However, it would make a lot of sense for you to talk about the kind of mindset you now have relating to a larger concept like responsibility or resilience due to this experience. This will help the reader understand your background and motivations in a deeper way. You can use the supplemental essay to talk more specifically about connection to future goals if you wish. Hope that helps!
Thank you all for participating in the AMA and thank you to the Admissionado team (@Admissionado_Athena & @Admissionado_Rob) for your insights! Also, big congrats to the giveaway winner, Reeya! Closing this thread now.