The problem you get into is not having your parental financial planner “beer goggles” off in time before you make a mistake in strategy for the welfare of all your children and their Long Games-- which will be interrupted by a handful of years in the workforce— and then likely a second round of applications to a professional/grad school edcation.
in 2005-- when deserving hard working Duke son applied to college, we had on our Pre Recession Parental Beer Goggles. Plus we were ten years younger. Plus we didn’t see the crash of 2008 coming and the death of our home valuation.
Plus I had no idea that the highly reputable graduate schools of business and law at our state university (UVA) cost the same price as private graduate schools (dumb, uninformed). $70,000 a year including room and board.
Son number two (because of our folly re paying full price ticket for Duke for four years) had to go to our state universities or win merit money. He understood this and put his head down and won merit by basially a total miracle at Vandy. He has an expensive and uncertain re cost/benefit outcomes grad school goal (Law) which is very foolish to borrow heavily for in this economy-- so we only felt a little guilty when he turned down his full price offers at fab schools in 2008-9 when the recession hit the USA.
Now both sons are post grad and working. It is very difficult to become fully financially emancipated from your parents in your twenties these days. What my two sons pay in rent alone would put someone through a fine college annually!
Anyway, should you decide to suck it up and pay for Vandy for your deserving son, Original Poster. I would consider that your son (who is bright enough to get into Vandy which only admitted 9-12% of applicants) is talented enough to get employed quickly with a UF Chem Engineering degree. He is going to stand out at UF and be able to do well at Vandy! No doubt. And that is a sensible, marketable degree to go after. I do not know if a masters is required for him to go further in his profession to earn more in salary. But I do know that engineers go to work and have to be employed to get specialized professional credentials to put next to their names.
I believe your son could be totally autonomous financially Post Vanderbilt and Post UF. A lot of parents cannot say this about their son or daughter post Vanderbilt. Many pathways are less likely to end up in financial independence for 23 year olds but Engineering may make this possible --if you can provide him with a solid used car. I have a nephew who was a B-minus engineering student at VA Tech who is fully independent and working. He just got his credentials after working for four years. Now he is getting a masters in Civil Engineering at night while working full time. His employer is paying for this.
So in my mind, Engineering is just different in how you weigh this out.
I also believe that if he has his heart set on Vanderbilt, you could negotiate with him to take out two-3 years of Stafford Loans at about 7000 a year to pay back himself without compromising his financial independence. (Duke son has had zero problems paying his one Stafford Loan back on a modest salary and he could have taken out 2 or 3 of those and paid them back himself–wish we had done this as some of his Duke tuition is still on our second mortgage). Duke son went into business and to work immediately–just as engineers do. (MBA programs do not really want you --till you have been employed a while.)
I really don’t know if a Chem Engineering degree at Vandy commands more respect than a Chem Engineering degree at UF. I doubt it. However there is no doubt that the four year Vandy experience is intensely different than four years at UF. It is a tighter, more traditional, cozier experience for a young person during their more tender years. On the other hand, a UF engineer will have a lot of connections in Florida!
My Duke son could not afford to stop working to attend a prestigious MBA program full time. Instead, he kept his job and is pursuing an MBA at night which costs about half the price. He earned a discount at MBA night school but he is paying about 20 grand a year out of his own pocket. That is the family “consequence” of his not taking his offer to UVA in 2005. He would still choose Duke undergrad a thousand times over. He was part of a tight close community that was essential for his growing up years. He values those years and has sucked it up and not asked for anything since although we did help with a solid used car and a couple of years on Obamacare on our family plan till he was 26 thus allowing him to not have health care taken out of his paychecks when he was younger.
Vandyson worked two years. We had him on Obamacare on our family policy which allows you to insure your son or daughter longer and allows them to take jobs without benefits. I would say that his Vanderbilt degree helped him get a fine paying job for pre-law school and more growing up time. He just finished the rounds of his law school apps. He (we) could not afford for him to go to Vandy Law (his father’s alma mater) with the size of the scholarship they offered him. He will attend another law school where he won a big merit discount in tution instead. These are the compromises that must be made in our family. However, I do not think Vandyson would have won almost free tution to law school without Vanderbilt. Vanderbilt afforded him about five fabulous opportunities that made his resume stand out. He will always have Vanderbilt, and they did as much for him as we could ask. We will help him with room board and car during the next three years of law school but he can actually afford to be totally autonomous at the end of the next three years. There are very few professions outside of a strong MBA or medical school where grad school loans can be paid off by the student with some ease.
Lastly, you have ten more days or more to sort through this. Pick the person in your family and include your son. Get out pencil and paper and compose a letter asking for a second review, stating you are concerned that you will have to pick UF do to not being able to take on Vanderbilt once elder son is no longer in college.
You never know. Put out an appeal letter and express the barriers you feel are present.
Again, UF for Chem Engineering is a sensible choice. Perhaps you can promise your son other things like car and some help with a masters in a few more years if you pick UF. If he puts a little skin in the game and takes on his Stafford loans for instance…perhaps Vandy would be worth it.
