Particularly for someone who might want to get a double degree and is on the more introverted side.
D picked Vassar (ED2) because she felt welcomed and engaged immediately. Se was so excited because everyone she met was outgoing and connected including the whole swim team. Of course, a visit like that would self select for the more outgoing people. She is excited that most people there seemed to have varied interests like D who will pursue both Chemistry and English. Hope that helps.
I think an introvert who also expresses intellectual qualities would fit in with Vassar’s mix. I’d keep Wesleyan as well in my final two.
Tough choice in the sense that none of the three are particularly known their shrinking violets. F&M students are assigned specific dormitories freshman year and it is unclear what the options are after that. About a third of the student body belongs to either a fraternity or sorority.
The fraternity scenes at Wesleyan and Vassar are far more muted. Vassar is known for its lavish dormitories which mitigates against the desire to join a Greek society, but may also mean years of enforced community with dozens of other students.
Wesleyan has a system of “graduated independence” where students gain increasing access to Wesleyan’s private stock of neighborhood homes (formerly faculty housing) converted to student use. Certainly by junior year a student should have their own kitchen and the opportunity to choose their own roommates.
Three great colleges!
We visited all three, all of which were considered by my son: we visited Vassar many times, Wesleyan twice, and F&M once. I know Vassar best since my spouse went there and is an alumni interviewer, and his young cousin (a more recent grad now in law school and also a journalist) went there as well.
The environments of Wesleyan and Vassar will be more similar to each other’s than to F&M’s. When we visited F&M, we were struck by how all but one upperclassman with whom we spoke was in a fraternity or sorority. That influences school culture; whether that is a pro or con is in the eye of the beholder. Also, W and V are more selective colleges, although F&M is highly selective as well.
Wesleyan has a lot of “program housing,” for special interests and identities, whereas Vassar divides students into houses where they intermingle with students from many different walks of life. F&M initially divides students into houses, too.
Wesleyan has some cool interdisciplinary majors, such as the College of Social Studies.
Vassar has the fewest course distribution requirements.
Wesleyan is suburban, and Vassar and F&M are in small cities, so not much of a difference there. All are not in large cities but not so far from them as to preclude an easy weekend visit.
F&M has a dog park adjacent to campus, so that’s a plus! Also, it has the most interesting local culture with the Amish nearby.
Vassar has an amazing theatre program, with alumni in film and theatre, and Wesleyan has an amazing film program, with alumni in film, TV, and theatre. Lin Manuel Miranda wrote In the Heights as a project while he was attending Wesleyan. Later, when his Hamilton was at an early stage of its development, it was performed at Vassar.
Wesleyan and Vassar both have a progressive, liberal vibe.
Vassar was the only one that was formerly all-female (although it has been co-ed for 50 years), so that impacts the culture as well.
Since I know so many Vassar grads- my relatives and their friends- I can attest to the very warm, friendly, intellectual environment there, and how friendships last for life. Seriously- we have vacationed with one of my spouse’s friends and their family and have visited often with some other alumni. They tell great stories! I imagine the other colleges’ alumni can boast similar experiences, though!
If you have visited or can visit, that may help you get a “feel” for each college. You can’t go wrong with three such great choices, so feel free to decide “by gut” if there are not important differences in the courses offered within your major or the clubs/activities offered that match your interests.
OP: “Double degree” or double major in which subject areas ?
Although introverted, what are your interests ?
With regard to the dorm question at F&M, the house system is prevalent the first two years. Upper classes can also choose to live in the campus-controlled off campus properties, houses, apartments, and lofts, all within easy walking distance. While my D is in a sorority, I have no idea how many men or women whose to the live those houses.
I think you will like Vassar.
They do great job bonding the first year students who live in the same house. According to my D, the bonding experience of the hallmates are very strong.
Vassar does not have Greek system.
Vassar doesn’t have strict core curriculum that makes it easy for students to double major.
I don’t know much about other schools to make comments.
Good luck you you!
The dominant culture at F&M is probably the most “not like the others”. I would focus on where you feel students are the most “your tribe” especially if you don’t like to stick out. Everyone I know who has attended any of these has had a great experience, but they are all different types of kids.
F&M is the most mainstream (sporty). A young man wearing a skirt wouldn’t get as second look at Vassar but might at F&M.
If, otoh, you feel like you would be the beneficiary of a more progressive (for lack of a better word) community, Vassar and Wesleyan may be calling your name.
All terrific options, btw. Can you do revisits?
@Publisher
Ah yes I should clarify. I do mean a double degree (BA and BS), not a double major. See I wanted to major in both Philosophy and Physics but I don’t really want a BA in physics.
Well in terms of extracurriculars, I am in debate and Science Olympiad.
What do you mean by revists? Do you mean college visits? Well I was thinking about maybe attending Focus on Vassar or Wesfest if the transportation is covered (if I don’t delay my decision to go 
).
The BA/BS distinction in physics in many instances pertains to institutional tradition rather than content.
You should go to Wesfest.
@ImperialChimp , accepted student days. They do a pretty good job of having everyone available so that you can figure out some of this as well as get the vibe of the school (which can be harder when you are deciding whether to apply rather than trying to see yourself there.) Don’t delay! Sign up to go!
Looks like it is between Vassar and Wesleyan.
Also, I forgot to ask, but should I bother with accepting a waitlist for Amherst. If I was to get off the waitlist, would it be a better fit for me?
I really wanted to go to the school originally, especially because overall, academics are better and the 5-college consortium gives me a little more opportunities. I just assumed that a waitlist was another rejection, but perhaps I should give it shot. If I don’t get in, I would still be totally fine to attend either Vassar or Wesleyan.
^In what way do you think the academics are better at Amherst?
Although Amherst isn’t leagues above the other two, there are still a couple things in which Amherst stands out.
-the other two schools are more known for their arts, though they still have excellent academics in their fields. Amherst is known more for providing one of the best and most well-rounded undergrad education. Still a little vague.
-the 5-college consortium would give me more opportunities academically. If I find that Amherst is lacking in a particular field (like the lack of classes for say epistemology), I can always go to another college for the class, especially when there is an actual university nearby. I don’t believe Vassar or Wesleyan have this luxury.
-Amherst is generally considered a better feeder school for grad school. I intended to have a more preparatory undergrad edu.
Other than these three points, there isn’t much difference between them. Most importantly, all have an open curriculum and excellent alumni connections.
@ImperialChimp If you’re still interested in Amherst, I’d accept a waitlist spot. Amherst accepted 100 fewer this year.
From the current issue of the Amherst Student:
“Matthew McGann, dean of admissions and financial aid, hopes that the lower number of acceptances will prevent a similar scenario this year. “My hope is that when we get to May 1, we’ll be under our target number, and we’ll use the waitlist,” he said. There are 473 beds on the first-year quad without triples, and McGann hopes exactly that many students matriculate.”
Amherst has a fraction of the number of arts diplomas and certificates awarded, both nominally and as a percentage of its undergraduate population, as nearly every other member of its consortium. That certainly skews things a bit. It’s a great school, but by that measure, I would have to question your definition of “well-rounded”. One could just as rightly say, that in subject areas traditionally favored by well-rounded people, Amherst excels.
Amherst is a superb school but, following up on my point above, if you control for the number of majors in the fields for which data is available, the rates of PhD production for Wesleyan grads are actually equal to or better than for Amherst.
50 % of Vassar grads pursue Graduate degree and 94% of applicants get into PHD program.