Apollo6, I am very sorry for your loss.
I am terribly sorry @Apollo6.
I will also express my sympathies Apollo6, I am very sorry for your loss.
I am very sorry for your loss, Apollo6
I have learned a lot from the CC community for several years, but have never posted. Apollo6, I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful and gifted boy. I talked with my kids today, and I thank you for your powerful post. Your family will remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Thank you very much for sharing your story @Apollo6, and also for reminding us to talk to our teens about depression . I am so sorry for your loss.
Oh Apollo6, what a great loss.
I have a big lump in my throat and tears in my eyes after reading your post and the article from the link you provided. You have my deepest sympathies on the loss of your son.
I’ve had to deal with depression for most of my life and one of my biggest fears is that my girls will inherit it and have to slog through it. My deepest sympathy, @Apollo6. Know that I’ll be bringing it up – again – with my daughters.
Apollo6 - I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story. I also have never posted on CC but wanted to thank you. What an amazing young man!! I will be sharing all of this information with my 17 yr. old daughter. Your family is in our prayers.
I’m so, so sorry about your beautiful boy, Apollo6. Thank you for posting. May your post make another parent reach out to their child at the right time.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Apollo6.
What stands out for me about Madison’s case are two things: she was a perfectionist who found it “hard to handle even garden-variety failure,” and that her best friend from high school said about her “The way her mind worked, it threw her off when she didn’t know what the next step was, or what the future would hold. Knowing the end result was something she always wanted.”
Why is suicide the second leading cause of death among young people? Young people don’t have the experience and perspective to know that “this too shall pass.” And the thing about depression is that you lose the ability to imagine what it would feel like NOT to be depressed. You feel like this is it, this is your life from now on. You can’t envision a possibility that in a few weeks, a few months, you might feel better again. For a perfectionist and someone who always needed to know exactly what the future was going to hold, it would be even worse.
Often it’s the go-getters, the ones who are determined to batter down every obstacle on their road to success, who have the hardest time battling depression, because depression is an enemy you can’t fight in that way.
Well, keep in mind that they are young and therefore much less likely to experience most of the most common causes of overall death in developed nations (e.g., cancer, heart disease, etc). I’m a suicide researcher (yes, I research suicide and violence/sexual assault), so I’m not saying that suicide isn’t an important public health issue by any means, just that that’s a confound to consider when looking at that statistic.
Also, please note that if you are worried that someone is contemplating suicide, it is important to ask them directly and explicitly if they are having thoughts of suicide or if they are considering killing or hurting themselves. Suicide is a difficult topic to broach and asking directly allows the person to tell you without requiring them to be the one to bring it up. Doing so will NOT “put the thought” into their head if they are not already experiencing suicidal ideation!
Apollo, echoing other’s sympathy for your loss.
So why do we wait for symptoms to appear and then beat ourselves up when we miss them. I realize pre-affordable healthcare that not every insurance offered mental health coverage. Don’t they now have to? Why are we willing to send our kids for a physical every year (our high school required one for participation in activities) but wait until we see symptoms in matters of mental health? We need a new system, one where an annual mental health checkup is as common as a yearly physical.
l’m so sorry, Apollo66.
As a young person myself who considered suicide once, the only thing that could push you to that state is:
- You can’t deal with something super shameful. You think that it’s the end.
- You don’t have anyone to talk to, and you have to deal with the problems yourself. No one understand you.
@ordinarylives Great point. My GP and gyn both screen for depression on the forms I complete every time I go for an appointment. One has to be honest on these to get follow up.
This reality of suicide is every parent’s nightmare along with being killed in an accident or due to violence or having a life threatening disease. My heart goes out to all who have suffered these types of loss. I can’t even imagine.
@Apollo6, I am so sorry for your loss.
Hugs, Apollo6. I am so sorry.