Tragic situations here. I am so sorry, Apollo. I can’t imagine your pain.
I am a parent of a former Penn runner, too. My son wound up not running for Penn due to injury. Most of my family members went to Penn (not me), and I feel Penn may be a more difficult adjustment than many other schools. I am not sure why this is, but I am hearing a lot of things from current parents that indicate that there are some real problems. I’m not blaming Penn- I love the place. Right now there is a huge cocaine problem, and the abuse of ADD drugs continues. It might be a combination of the gritty city which is an adjustment for many students, the intense level of academics and pre-professionalism and the other adjustments to college life. I don’t know. I am very familiar with the garage where Madison took her life. My son had been exposed to a lot before he got to Penn and had gone to boarding school, so he was used to being away from home. He had lived alone for a summer to train and read in New Mexico the summer before senior year in high school. He and a top Penn athlete friend of his got so overwhelmed and disenchanted by Penn in February of their freshman year that they, literally, ran away. I won’t re-hash the story now (8 years ago), but we got them turned back around when they hit Indiana. My son considered transferring and was re-accepted to some other great schools, including Chicago, but wound up staying at Penn, changing some things for himself, and had a happy final 3 years. The other boy also stayed, abused steroids along with the rest of his very competitive athletic team, and was arrested with some teammates after brutally beating up someone in a bar fight junior year. He did graduate and is successfully employed.
I think when many of us come here to CC, it is with the hope that we can help choose a college that will provide a lovely college experience for our kids. We never want our kids to hurt or be unhappy. It, sadly, doesn’t always work out the way we would like. There is just so much pressure and people don’t feel comfortable sharing about depression and their struggles.
It is also really difficult to find good mental health providers- especially in the major cities. The psychiatrists don’t return calls, won’t accept insurance, charge about $300 an hour out of pocket, etc. Our system is broken.