Very Very Mad At Teachers

Applying to College
1

OMG, I just don’t understand how teachers can be so irresponsible. I am well aware of how they’re swamped with other students asking for recommendations these days along with all the teaching work they have to do. But if they said YES to my request, I believe they agreed to be prompt with my request, which becomes their responsibilities.

One teacher (Spanish) I had last yr, agreed to write me a recommendation and said he would be honored to do so. After getting his agreement, I gave him all my forms along with envelopes with stamps on them, like two months before the due date, and visited him occasionally to remind him. It was after the winter break, about 1/10 when I visited him to make sure he had sent all the recommendations to schools, and he said “when was it due? OMG, I haven’t sent them yet” Both of the schools had due date which was 1/1. I was furious, but got more infuriated when he said, “I’ll work on it right away”.
He didn’t even write my letter!! After all his talks about how he was excited to do my letters!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!

The other teacher (US history) I had asked to do my letter to seven schools. I asked him before summer, and gave him forms and envelopes with stamps on as soon as school yr started because he said it takes a lot of time to do it since many students ask him for letters as well. He and I share a very special relationship; he’s always been a mentor and a friend to me. I enjoy an occasional small talks with him after school, and I admire him very much. He told me he had sent all my letters way before the due date; but guess what. He really hadn’t. One of my friend, who also had asked him for letters told me that couple of days ago, when he talked to that teacher, he had shown him my envelopes/forms in an organized file and said he’d sent them shortly, and how my friend should consider being organized like I was. I was like WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!

IT was couple of days ago, which is well after 1/1, which most of the letters were due. He lied to me, and I’m just furious.

what the hell is up with some people? I certainly appreciate all the hardwork they do, but things like this, I just can’t tolerate. My future depends on it, and they (whether it was intentional or not) are to ruin it.

Maybe I’m overreacting or something. But has this happened to anyone?
I’m just mad, that’s all.

2

<p>Pick better teachers next time.</p>

3

<p>It happens frequently. Meanwhile, the colleges will not hold against you the fact that the teachers recommendations were late.</p>

<p>Your experience also illustrates why it's so important for students to ask teachers early and to follow up. The only additional thing that you could have done would have been to give the teachers copies of excellent papers or tests that you did in their classes, plus a list of specific things that you accomplished in their classes of clubs that they advised. Since teachers educate lots of students, you are more likely to remember the remarkable things that you did for an individual teacher than the teacher is likely to remember.</p>

<p>Despite your anger, I do hope that you sent the teachers warm thank-you notes. They still did you big favors.</p>

<p>There also may have been things going on in both of their lives -- such as major illnesses or other difficulties -- that made both of them less responsible than they usually are. You may never know what was going on, but instead of being angry at them, I suggest that you assume that they had good will toward you and did the best that they could. </p>

<p>As a former professor, who wrote lots of recommendations, it's harder to write recommendations for the students whom one most believes in than it is to write recommendations for the more average students. That's because if one really believes in a student, one tends to take lots of additional time writing recommendations that document exactly what the student has to offer. This can cause some perfectionistic recommenation writers to get things in late.</p>

4

<p>my teacher ruled. i gave him rec letters and he did an outstanding job 1 week later and SHOWED me the letter and ASKED me if I wanted to add something myself.</p>

<p>the letter was perfect so I didn't make changes and he sent it in just 3 days later.</p>

5

<p>My children's teachers were wonderful. I am sorry your's didn't live up to their responsibility. I think my daughter offerred to mail the sealed stamp envelop for them so there wouldn't be any question about it getting in on time.</p>

<p>In California, the UC system doesn't take letters of recommendation, some teachers are never asked to write them. They might not understand their importance but that is no excuse.</p>

6

<p>I recently wrote a rec for a 10th grader who wants to attend the Telluride Association Sophomore Seminars (TASS) this summer. Teachers get busy or sometimes simply procrastinate. That, of course, is no excuse. </p>

<p>My suggestion is that students should remind their teacher about 1 week prior the date that YOU want the recommendation and/or application packet mailed, and definitely don't wait until AFTER the application deadline to inquire about the status.</p>

7

<p>I've tried to get in contact with Harvard admissions people and that doesn't work. There is like a brick wall, but maybe its because so many people know Harvard and ask them questions. MIT, my top pick school to which I applied EA, is totally different. I started e-mailing them last summer, and they are incredibly nice. They told me not to worry about late recs because they weren't my fault. They even told me not to worry about a college transcript that I sent in a week after everything was due.</p>

<p>I do, though, have a horrible story about a teacher rec. My sophomore Algebra 2 teacher picked me as Student of the Year. So when I applied to MITE2S (MIT summer enrichment program) I figured, oh hey she likes me, I'll get her to write me a rec. So with plenty of time, I gave her the envelope and the guidelines for the rec. That was that. Months later I got a response and was rejected from the program. I was devastated and thought it was all my fault for being a mediocre student. (I'm not; I got accepted to MIT EA) But that junior year, I thought I was. Well, this year, I got the chance to see a letter of recommendation she wrote for another student. When I saw it, my mouth dropped open and I could only gaze in horror. This algebra 2 teacher's "Letter of Recommendation" was a paragraph in the middle of a page written in big, bold, blocky font with roughly five or six sentences in it. The largest word she used was "fantastic". She wrote one sentences saying who she was. She wrote one sentence on how she knew the student. She wrote one sentences commenting on the student's performance in school. She wrote one sentence recommending her. Then she closed by saying who she was AGAIN. This letter sounded like it was written by a fifth grader. No kidding. Simple, plain sentences. I told the student after I read the letter to throw it in the garbage and never ask her for a rec again. I'm concerned for future students. I don't know what to do because this is a big danger. She will ruin kids futures! But wow that made me feel better about getting rejected by MITE2S. (I used different teachers for my actual MIT app.)</p>

8

<p>". This algebra 2 teacher's "Letter of Recommendation" was a paragraph in the middle of a page written in big, bold, blocky font with roughly five or six sentences in it. The largest word she used was "fantastic". She wrote one sentences saying who she was. She wrote one sentence on how she knew the student...."</p>

<p>I have been on lots of scholarship committees, and have seen lots of recommendation letters. What you described is what I have typically seen from teachers in public schools that are low performing or in low income areas. This is a big reason why students from prep schools and from excellent public schools (paricularly schools in districts in which parents are professionals and are very nosey about things like recommendations) can have advantages in admissions.</p>

<p>If one comes from a school in which few students go to college or most go to a state U (where often all that's required is for teachers to use a check-off recc form, and teh recommendations aren't important), it is important for the student to take a lot of responsibility for getting the kind of recommendation the student wants.</p>

<p>Provide the teachers with written info reminding them of your grades in their class, examples of your papers in their class, lists of things that you did in activities that they advised. Sit down with the teacher and talk with the teacher about why you want to go to the college or why you need the scholarship/summer program, etc. Even include that background info on the activity sheet, etc. you give the teacher.</p>

<p>Even go so far as to give the teacher examples of the kind of recommendation letters that are useful for these kind of programs. One can do this without being condescending. If a teacher really wants to help you, they will want to provide the best support that's possible.</p>

9

<p>I gave teachers my resume along with envelopes and forms in a folder with my name. I even put a paper with name of the schools, phone number, and deadlines typed on it. </p>

<p>I also gave teachers a thank you note after they agreed to write me recommendations as well.</p>

<p>I talked to teachers frequently, to remind them about my letters.</p>

<p>Oh well, I did my best, but they're still humans. I may sound childish, but I lost heck a lot of respect for them.</p>

10

<p>hhhboyji,
You did far more than most students do who give teachers recommendations. The only thing I would suggest is that next time, also give them info that directly relates to what you did in their classes and in activities that they advised. The prob with giving them a resume is that they may simply repeat the resume info on their recommendation, and that won't give the colleges the additional info about your character and abilities that the colleges hope to get from the teacher reccs.</p>

<p>Meanwhile, I continue to emphasize that you have no idea why the teachers were late getting the forms in. Both really could have had personal problems or emergencies that caused the delay. They are not likely to share that info with you. It is far better to assume that there were some kind of problems like this than for you to assume that the teachers were simply uncaring or irresponsible.</p>

<p>Of course, one can have sympathy for them while also keeping in mind their behavior should you need additional recommendations.</p>

<p>I hope that you have given the teachers a thank-you note now after they wrote the recommendations. That's really when to give the thank-you note, after they have done their good deed.</p>

<p>Make sure, too, to take the time to let the teachers know how you do in your college admissions.</p>

<p>And I would like to emphasize that colleges will not hold against you the fact that the teachers' letters come in a little late. Think about it: Most colleges will even accept from regular admission candidates Jan. SAT scores, so it's not as if the teachers' reccs being a little late will cause a student's application to not be considered.</p>

11

<p>"Well, this year, I got the chance to see a letter of recommendation she wrote for another student. When I saw it, my mouth dropped open and I could only gaze in horror."</p>

<p>This poses a question. Can a student ask to review a rec with the person who is writing it before the rec is sent?</p>

<p>I have only written two for students so far, but both times, a draft was shared with the student before it was finally released.</p>

<p>I also review nominating statements for an annual student award recognition program. Some teachers and others who write recommendations can be very eloquent and passionate in their writing. Others can be downright illiterate.</p>

<p>A student deserves to know that the person writing a rec actually KNOWS how to write a letter. What is the politically correct way for a student to determine this?</p>

12

<p>"I have been on lots of scholarship committees, and have seen lots of recommendation letters. What you described is what I have typically seen from teachers in public schools that are low performing or in low income areas."</p>

<p>This is not an issue of teacher quality in public vs. private schools, but is more about individuals, regardless of where they're from, who simply don't know how to write. I have seen scary writing from both public and private school staff.</p>

<p>It is a great idea for a student to give a teacher a sample letter, especially if the student is unsure of the teacher's writing style and presentation.</p>

13

<p>I guess I'm lucky, as my teachers have been incredibly prompt and supportive in writing recommendations for me. I wouldn't worry about them being late though, it won't be held against you.</p>

14

<p>I've heard comments from schools and teachers that late recs aren't held against the student (as long as they're there at <em>some</em> point in the reading and deciding process!). This recommendation-writing season is surely one of the little demands of teaching that we don't hear much about, isn't it. Think about it: some teachers may have a lot of these to write, and for many colleges there is a cover form that they want filled in, in addition to any narrative. Yes, with all this extra potential load for teachers, it's up to the students to follow up gently and in a timely manner.</p>

<p>By the way, none of the individuals who wrote recommendations for my S this year showed him either a draft or the finished product, nor did they offer this. My S claims not to want to know. As far as I know, the teachers and others typically do not share their rec contents with the student: is this common practice where you are, gsp? (I am, however, REALLY curious what they wrote and was wondering if, as a parent, I might be within my curiosity rights to ask the writers after RD season is over if they'd mind sharing their comments with me. I'd even promise not to share them w/ S, since he still claims not to want to know. Whadya think?)</p>

15

<p>Teachers used to get into troubles for writing negative comments on college recommendation as the applicants' families sue the teachers. Some recommendation forms now give a space fo you to sign to indicate whether you waive your right to see the actual rec or not
.</p>

16

<p>"I am, however, REALLY curious what they wrote and was wondering if, as a parent, I might be within my curiosity rights to ask the writers after RD season is over if they'd mind sharing their comments with me."</p>

<p>MootMom, it never hurts to ask. All they can say is yes or no.</p>

17

<p>HHboyji-
You did a great job. The fact that your teachers messed up will make them write even better recommendations for you because of their guilty consciences!</p>

18

<p>"My S claims not to want to know. As far as I know, the teachers and others typically do not share their rec contents with the student: is this common practice where you are, gsp? (I am, however, REALLY curious what they wrote and was wondering if, as a parent, I might be within my curiosity rights to ask the writers after RD season is over if they'd mind sharing their comments with me. "</p>

<p>S has had some teachers who chose to show their comments, some who did not. It is up to the teacher. My older S had no teachers who showed him their reccs. </p>

<p>While you as a parent can ask teachers to see the reccs, I would not. I feel that if they wanted to show my S their comments, they would. I know that I would feel a bit suspicious/defensive if a parent or student asked to see my comments after the college season were over. I'd fear they were looking to cast blame for any rejections. I also feel that if anyone asks, it should be the student, not the parent. By the time that the college acceptances come in, most students are legally adults.</p>

<p>I think that if a student really wants to see their recommendations, this should be asked at the time of requesting the recommendation. That way, should the teacher feel uncomfortable about the question, the teacher can simply decline and allow the student to ask another teacher. </p>

<p>I think, however, it would be fine if a student were to ask a teacher to write a recommendation and to also ask the teacher what kind of things the teacher felt the teacher could say about the student. That way, the student might be able to better figure out where to send the recommendation or whether to even ask the teacher to do it at all.</p>

19

<p>"This poses a question. Can a student ask to review a rec with the person who is writing it before the rec is sent?"</p>

<p>A student can ask for this. The teacher also can decline and also may decline to write the recommendation at all. For understandable reasons, teachers also don't want students sharing their recommendation letters with other students. In writing recommendation letters, teachers do have to make judgement calls, and if students see the letters and share them, that can lead to bad feelings and angry parents confronting the teachers or even threatening to sue.</p>

20

<p>"I've tried to get in contact with Harvard admissions people and that doesn't work. There is like a brick wall, but maybe its because so many people know Harvard and ask them questions. MIT, my top pick school to which I applied EA, is totally different. I started e-mailing them last summer, and they are incredibly nice. They told me not to worry about late recs because they weren't my fault. They even told me not to worry about a college transcript that I sent in a week after everything was due.
"</p>

<p>So true... I've emailed harvard lots of times with no replies... Princeton on the other hand is very prompt. I got a reply within a day :D</p>