visitas: an accurate reflection of life at harvard?

Colleges and Universities A-Z Harvard University
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<p>“Part of college is interacting with people who make different choices than you, including drinking underage.”</p>

<p>Unfortunately, this seems to be correct. D’s friends who attended other colleges’ admit weekends report the same phenomenon – lots of underage drinking. However, none of her friends felt that they were being encouraged to join or were looked down upon when they refused to have a drink with them. Similarly, my D said she saw lots of drinking… at Yardfest… but she and the rest of her group did not feel awkward about the situation. D simply thought that the drunk kids were the ones who seemed awkward. Kids pouring alcohol into the open mouths of other kids, kids unable to walk a straight line and laughing about it… She thought *they *looked ridiculous, and were by far not the norm at the college.</p>

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<p>I went to Harvard on Sunday night to pick up something from my son (we live really close by). When I got there, there was general mayhem in the quad thingy made up by Kirkland, Eliot, Winthrop, etc. I looked at S and said, “What the hell is going on?” He rolled his eyes and said, “Yardfest. The concert was awful [his musical taste ranges from Renaissance choral to current indie] and everyone is wasted.” I said, “But it’s pre-frosh weekend!” to which he replied, “Yeah, this is about the worst idea that they’ve ever had.”</p>

<p>There is drinking at every school, trust me (except possibly at BYU and some of the strict Christian schools), but even students who generally drink responsibly tend to overindulge at Yardfest. Pre-frosh weekend and Yardfest have not coincided before, as far as I know. Pre-frosh (OK, Visitas, but I hate that name) used to be close to the end of April, but I guess things have changed since the Harvard schedule changed so radically two years ago.</p>

<p>Not everyone is going to love Harvard. It does not have a warm and fuzzy atmosphere to it, and the students need to be go-getters because no one is going to come and get them. However, even my S, who used to be scared of his own shadow, LOVES the place (and will miss it oh so terribly when he leaves in May). For a warmer, small liberal arts college environment, Dartmouth, Williams, Amherst et al are much better choices. Harvard has limitless possibilities that those schools don’t have, though the education at all those institutions is top-notch. </p>

<p>The valedictorian of my son’s high school class decided to go to Harvard after she got her Early Action decision back in December 2006. She answered right away (as opposed to my son, who got in EA but decided to wait for his other acceptances before he decided). When I asked her why, she said that she had always known that that’s where she wanted to be, that her father had gone there, blah blah blah. Well, she has taken senior year off, and although she is returning next year to finish, she isn’t very happy. I’ve known her since she was in 6th grade, and I could have told her then that she would have been happier at a smaller, more nurturing school.</p>

<p>I guess what I’m trying to say here is that the atmosphere during Yardfest is not the norm, BUT that Harvard still might not be the school for everyone, and that the name should not be the reason for going.</p>

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<p>Regarding alcohol consumption by college students under 21 years of age: It is my understanding that consumption of alcohol in the privacy of one’s home is not unlawful in many states, regardless of age. (This may be true of MA, I can’t remember). A college student’s dorm room is her/his home.</p>

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<p>I don’t know what the rules for the event were, but keep in mind that at least 1/4 and probably more of Harvard students are 21 or older, and Harvard Yard is private property. Aside from any administration-imposed rules for this event, alcohol consumption in the Yard by students over 21 is not problematic.</p>

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Hey Bay, as a Massachusetts parent I have looked into the state drinking laws.

So as for legally drinking in one’s “dorm” home. It would not be legal if under 21. First, the individual could not have legally bought the alcohol. Second, the alcohol cannot be legally purchased for the under 21 individual. A parent, or over 21 spouse can SERVE a drink in their home to their child/spouse. If the parent/over 21 souse were in the dorm room to serve the drink to their child/spouse, then it would be legal. That is the only sanctioned under 21 drinking in this state. The parent/spouse could not serve the roommate. The above is specific to Massachusetts.</p>

<p>So on Easter I can give my daughter a glass of wine, but legally not her boyfriend. Saturday, when we go out to eat, I will not be allowed to give her that glass of wine. Additionally, when we go to Maine in the summer, I cannot legally give my own child the glass of wine even in the privacy of my home. </p>

<p>Lastly, notice the word “serve” in the law. This does not mean a parent can provide their child a keg to bring back to campus. They did not “serve” the individual drink to their child. Of course, parental liability comes into play should they serve the wine to their child and the child goes out and drives impaired. In that case, I am sure that both the parent and child would be held responsible.</p>

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<p>smoda,
None of those laws you cited address consumption by a person under 21. If I were in my dorm room and someone (anyone) left a bottle of whiskey on the table and I poured myself a drink from it, I didn’t violate those laws because I didn’t buy it and I didn’t serve it to anyone. Furthermore, if the whiskey was purchased by someone 21 or older, there is no violation for buying it.</p>

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I’m guessing that drinking it counts as possessing it. :)</p>

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<p>Also:</p>

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<p>I.XX.138.34C</p>

<p>Edit: Smoda beat me…I should have refreshed the page.</p>

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<p>^ That happens to me as well. I spend time typing and submit only to find out three posts have gone up in the meantime. :P</p>

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<p>I am glad that this year’s Visitas did not occur last year. I think it was very poor planning on H’s part. My D made her decision to go to H partly because she was so impressed with her hosts, how well they got along, the kinds of things they liked to do for fun and the fact that drinking did not seem to rule the campus. She has been SO happy at H and I think if she experienced some of the mayhem of this year’s event, she might not have chosen H. To those visitors who did not like the Yard Fest atmosphere or the extensive drinking, all I can say is that one of the things that attracted my D to H was the intensive effort H puts forth in matching up roommates. Although she and her roommates are diverse in their interests, they all enjoy doing many of the same, non-alcohol related activities. If drinking doesn’t bother you, fine - you will find that on any campus and pervasive on some. But the great thing is that there are many kids at H whose lives do not revolve around drinking and that has made all the difference to my D.</p>

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<p>You might also be shocked to learn that marijuana is smoked at H-- yes-- it is a scandal and I’m sure you would want the campus police to root out all of these miscreants and arrest them–and then expel them. There may even me some cocaine used-- and sex between people who aren’t–gasp-married–some of whom are even of the same sex! Harvard may have been founded by the Puritans, but it isn’t populated or run by them now.</p>

<p>Save your self and your kids a lot of trouble-- go elsewhere-- I hear that BYU is still accepting applications.</p>

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<p>Etondad, have you been hacked? Your posts are normally so civilized.</p>

<p>Also, marijuana (and definitely not hard drugs) are really not very prevalent. I’ve seen…one joint? At H-Y. And it ain’t like I ain’t around people who smoke it…one of my organizations would seem the archetypal hangout spot for pot-heads and co-op kids. They do hang out there, and I know potheads for sure. I am great friends with at least one. But they don’t prevail, and it’s not public, in the way I might have expected. Even in that enclave of hippy/hipsters, we also have people who don’t smoke, drink, or use drugs, and nobody gives a flying fig. I know one of my good friends has a friend who uses coke at Penn, but I have not even heard of anyone doing harder drugs than marijuana here. If that’s a concern, don’t be worried.</p>

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<p>Regarding pot, prevalent isn’t necessarily the same as visible. I know a lot of people who do smoke but I don’t necessarily smell cannabis in the air every day. Most students probably go 4 years without seeing a joint unless they go looking for that kind of thing.</p>

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<p>That’s what I meant, even though it’s not what I said. Thanks for clarifying, haha. I’ve been writing an expos paper for the past billion years, so my ability to express myself in other modes of communication is shot. Pot is prevalent, but not intrusive (unless you want it, ofc). Hard drugs are not prevalent</p>

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<p>No, not hacked. Just having been an advisor, non resident / resident tutor and mental health professional for so long, I have an idea of what happens-- either out in the open or behind closed doors – I think that these holier than thou posts which seem to be so completely naive as to what college aged kids are like and have this bizarre view that H students are non incarnated spirits. They need to be told that such is not the case. And that such a state is alright-- that kids acting wildly is not only expected but is a healthy (so long as it is not done in a way that at the time can harm one) way for psychic development. </p>

<p>I also hate the bizarre idea that 18 yos can be asked to die for one’s country but can’t even have a glass of beer when home on leave. There is a neo-puritanical streak that wants to ban alcohol, salt, fatty foods, (Heaven forfend that one who want to smoke a pipe/cigar or cigarette) and now chocolate milk and sodas (if you think I’m exaggerating check out the actions of the PBK member (LOL) Mayor Menino is doing. My S went to school in the UK and he and his mates could have a beer at 16–in Italy there isn’t any drinking age, yet the percentage of the population with substance abuse issues is lower than the US.</p>

<p>In my multi-decade experience parents who have such prudish attitudes will in most cases create barrier of communication btwn themselves and their kids once they are left off the leash – also most of those kids when they are off the leash are the ones who overdo and see people like me in counseling sessions. </p>

<p>Don’t misunderstand there are plenty of kids who don’t drink etc, and that is great and they do well in college but in almost all cases they are non-judgemental. To express shock that there would be drinking by under 21 yos at a music festival/stress blow-out suggests that they will have very high difficulty adjusting (they are the other sort I see in sessions).</p>

<p>So the long and the short of it is that posters like those prior, push my professional buttons.</p>

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<p>^ Indeed Italy has no drinking age. We looked this up when we traveled there after D’s HS graduation. H is Italian and grew up in a home that treated alcohol pretty much like in the “old Country”. I, on the other hand, grew up in a home with very strict rules about alcohol, as well as everything else. Consequently, H was relatively reasonable in his college behavior and I, on the other hand, was not. As the kids were growing up, our kids have been raised pretty much the same as my husband and, fortunately by living in Massachusetts, I do not have to deal with the legality of the issue. We do have certain rules though. Once alcohol has been consumed in our house, she is in for the night. We are not interested in any possible debates with law enforcement.</p>

<p>Has she consumed alcohol at Harvard? I’m not sharing her life here (too many know who we are). But I know for a fact that she is more intelligent about these things than I was at her age. H and I achieved our goal. :)</p>

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<p>I have to agree with etondad, that any prefrosh who was turned off by the drinking at Harvard and chooses to go elsewhere, will be in for a rude awakening, save for a couple of conservative outlier colleges.</p>

<p>According to my D at Harvard, drinking is prevalent, but no one cares whether you choose to partake or not.</p>

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<p>Just to chime in, my s is a recruited athlete and he has done two overnights at Harvard - one last spring and one this past Oct. Neither time he stayed was he offered alcohol by his host. It was the middle of week and everyone was studying. The second time he stayed they went to see the opening of “The Social Network!” This is not true for the ivys he visited on recruiting weekends where drinking was very much a part of it. This had nothing to do with his decision in the end to go to Harvard, but I think it shows there is plenty that goes on that has nothing to do with parties.</p>