Vocabulary

The essay is pretty much written for the common app, but how obscure should the adjectives be to demonstrate college readiness? Should the essay sound like a teenager wrote it or have unique words that no one would use conversationally?

Definitely the former, NO ONE recommends the latter. If you ask any admission officer, it should sound like you wrote it and be in your own words. This is not the SATs where people will be impressed with your vocab, it is about telling your story in the best way you can.

It should sound like you. You **can/b use “unique words that no one would use conversationally” if that’s how you speak IRL. But even if that is indicative of your speech patterns, it will impress nobody, and may backfire if you unintentionally come off sounding like a pompous twit.

In “Hacking the College Essay 2017”, the author gives this example:

"Here’s an example from the final draft of the essay written by a champion fencer, Kate, in an
expensive weeklong workshop on the college essay. (Kate’s mother sensed something was wrong and
sent her my way.)

I dropped the tip of my foil below my opponent’s bell guard, cautiously advancing while searching for a
vulnerable target. Proper distance, perfect hand position, and relaxed shoulders are what I have in mind as I find
the open flank and accelerate into a lunge. Beautiful, I think to myself, until I realize that I’ve missed completely
and have been hit on the counter attack. “Nice action,” my coach comments from the sideline, as he paces around
the rickety, musty building. “But don’t miss.”

A teacher at the workshop had told Kate to “show, not tell” and then signed off on her essay. Kate is
certainly working hard to describe something, but what is it? And as the reader, why don’t I care?
Despite its many details, this feels like it could have been written by anyone. Why? Because
Kate shows us an anonymous fencer rather than herself.

The details seem made up. Do you really believe that the narrator thought to herself
“beautiful!” after her lunge but before she noticed that she missed? Was the building’s musty smell
really on her mind? Don’t be fooled by “polished” writing. Kate’s account just doesn’t add up.
A good college essay spends less time worrying about how things might appear to the world,
and more time considering how they actually appear to you. Too many essays adopt the voice of the
disinterested observer, a fly on the wall who has no stake in the story. People think they need to be
objective. Why would you want to be objective?"