Waiting for that letter of rejection

Colleges & Universities A-Z Harvard University
1

<p>I started my race of getting into an Ivy League school two years ago, around the time my family decided to let me attend an expensive boarding school in the U.S.A. Somewhere along the road, I lost myself. I still do.</p>

<p>Now, I may sit here tying this calmly; tomorrow, I will freak out because I wasted all evening writing this confession instead of contemplating and optimizing my odds of being accepted.</p>

<p>Harvard has always been the first name that comes to mind. Why? Because everybody in my country knows it. And so I crave for getting into this elite school. But that is just the surface of how despicable I am.</p>

<p>Rather than a dream, Harvard became an obsession. I could not end a day without asking what I had accomplished to bring me closer to Cambridge, MA. Not satisfied with myself, I started to annoy those around me. The first victim was my compatriot in the boarding high school (“first” means that there would be a “second”, a “third,”...). I beleaguered him with a burning hunger for assurance and admiration. “A college discussion,” I called it, but what really happened was just me babbling about how great my SAT and GPA were and how he should have approach the college admission process. I was the mister who knew it all. Out of kindness, he listened attentively. But like a superstar condescending to his “fan”, I looked down on him. As a Harvard “prospective” student, I viewed his wish of going to Randolph College a mediocre and contemptuous choice. Little did I realize what a pathetic creature I was. We were both 17 years old, but he had a magnanimity far larger than mine. While I put all my bet into a hollow obsession, he carried out a pragmatic plan, silently and effectively. He eventually made it while I, an utter failure, struggle to even get into a “contemptuous” school as I once called. Before that letter of rejection comes, my friend, I own you an apology.</p>

<p>Rather than a dream, Harvard became a false pride (had it not shown already). Before leaving for America, I enjoyed my last campfire with my best friends. I was the center of that day. As a good student, I was expected to be something great. In my country, anyone who traveled abroad seemed to carry with him an aura of enlightenment. Now, imagine a person who would live and talk and live with the natives, you will realize what big of a deal studying abroad was for me and them. Although I knew full-well that Harvard was out-of-reach because I spent my time either taking extra courses to get ahead in class or dallying around with friends, I lied that I could possibly make it. Like a Willy Loman stubbornly hold on to his corrupted dream, I sold them and (laughingly) myself the idea of something impossible. Before that letter of rejection comes, I must get ready for a shameful debacle.</p>

<p>But the most corrupted part about my dream is that I cannot give it up, knowing that I will waste 75$ for a pending rejection. I can't refrain from applying. The uncertainty of college admission troubles me, but the most dreadful thing is the “What if” question. If I don't apply, ten years after, twenty years after, when I fail at being the great person I expected to be, I will ask my self that “What if I had a chance” question. Maybe, I really pay that 75$ fee to have an official statement that says: “Your chance of being accepted is now reduced to zero, find another path."</p>

<p>Anyway, please wish me luck to soon escape this nightmare.
Moral of the story: Don't be another me.</p>

<p>Here is the tl;dr: HS Senior complaining about his despicable self.</p>

<p>P/s: I'm sorry for grammatical mistakes and the wall of text.</p>

2

<p>Here’s the thing. An application is just about writing down what you’ve done. You can’t change you life at this point. No extra leadership position will make a difference, stop chasing “Ivy” and search for colleges that are the best fit. If you don’t get in, it’s because you do not belong, and the ad coms are doing you a favor by giving you a sign that you will be happier elsewhere.
Stop overthinking the entire process. Get in where you fit in. </p>

3

<p>I work in a mental health field. I am concerned about the tone of NguyenC‌’s post, it has the tone of a suicide note or at least a young person who is feeling very desperate. I tried to figure out if there was some type of way to report this to someone with authority at this site, but have not been able to figure that out. </p>

<p>Please, NguyenC‌, seek some professional help immediately if you are feeling so distressed about your deferral or rejection from Harvard. It is very important that you get some help gaining perspective. Chatting on this board with people who are still celebrating that they got admitted will not be helpful to you and may make your distress even worse. </p>

4

<p>I am a totally healthy student. I have NOT applied yet, but I will. I just put this here to share my experience with others who will have the same dream.
I am not thinking about suicide, not at all. I already moved on to search for other colleges (and found many good ones). I was offered many other chances to get scholarship in other schools. What I am dreading about is that the wish of getting into Harvard still lingers and during the process, I happened to hurt myself and others.
And while I do lament about desperation, hawja3, I am “chasing” other dreams at the same time as well. I am not all that ignorant.</p>

5

<p>Glad to hear that you are moving on and are healthy, best of luck. </p>

6

<p>Here’s the thing, it’s a good thing that you posted this thread. It is a good thing that you spent the time writing this and realized that you may have hurt others along the way. Many people never have the chance to self-reflect and continue to have those feelings of condescention and self-pity. You recognized that you need to have a change in attitude. Now take that and make it a positive.</p>

<p>While I can’t connect with the obsessing over a single school, I do know how stressful the whole college application process is, and how sometimes it can bring out some negative sides of people. College doesn’t define you. You’ll be happy to know that very little people look back and say “wow, if only I had gone to a different college my life would have been different.” Most people are intensely happy with their choice. What you need to understand is that life goes on after choosing a college, in fact, that is probably the most important part. If you are the ambitious, self-motivated student you describe yourself as, then you can succeed anywhere. Yes there may be many successful students at Harvard, but if you are a top student that takes advantages of opportunities, you will find that many colleges and universities offer a bountiful amount of opportunities, connections, and ways for you to succeed. It is certainly not limited to Harvard. What will need to change is your attitude. Don’t look down on other people just because they are taking a different path and realize there are multiple paths to success, not just one.</p>

<p>Lastly, as a piece of advice, make sure you have the correct attitude you want to present to admissions officers in your essays. You don’t want to have the same one you described above. Apply to a wide variety of schools, look into each of them thoroughly, and realize there is much more in the world than just “getting into Harvard.” Good luck!</p>

7

<p>I enjoyed reading this, you are a clever and funny writer, I appreciate it… I totally agree with the above. To see yourself in the cold clear light you describe and change how you treat people will be the best thing you can do for yourself. Learning humility is character building! I hope you find much happiness and friendship wherever you end up.</p>

8

<p>harvard is the ultimate prize for many competitive students. from a psychological perspective it is a need for validation. harvard has the blue chip name/ it is the golden ticket. the reality is it is no better than 1000’s of other schools in the united states. for certain people there is only harvard ,yale and princeton. if they only looked at some of the less hyper competitive schools out there and applied and attended they would be so much happier. if you try and reason with those type of people it does not register. if you do get in and attend harvard you will find yourself among other people seeking validation and does not always make for the best college experience. imagine just going to high school doing your work and say volunteering at the hospital , but not freaking out and trying to do all kinds of stuff just to expand your resume(so an admissions officer glances at it for 1/10th of second) all the extra stress of taking AP this and that and needing to compete against some other kid in your math class to make sure you get 1 or 2 points higher then them on a test. after all that and 4 years of the stress and freaking out in high school… you still have a super slim chance of getting in. their are some amazing colleges out there that graduate super prepared and happy students , but getting in is not some crazy crapshoot and absurd stress. the students are really smart, many are quirky and most will go onto become whatever they set their minds on doing.
It is not to late to add in a couple more app’s
look at hendrix college, st olaf college and muhlenberg college. </p>

9

<p>“Seeking validation” seems harsh. The admissions process at the most selective schools is ridiculously competitive and many kids, perhaps even most kids who have given it their all are curious as to whether it was enough and how they are regarded at this level. That is only natural for the majority of kids who apply to schools with the lowest acceptance rates.
I believe the key is not to be tied to the outcome and to not permit it to define you, no matter if rejected or accepted.
There are many great schools out there and many platforms from which to build a fulfilling life.
Best Wishes!</p>

10

<p>You’ve drunk the Koolaid that ties your worth as a human being to admission into some brand name school. GET A LIFE.</p>

<p>Once you get past senior year of HS where everyone is comparing admissions offers, no one cares about Harvard. The corporate directors, presidents, & VPs I interact w now, all graduated from big public universities. </p>

11

<p>@GMTplus7 I couldn’t agree with you more. The goal is to get and finish an education, then be good at what you do. It almost seems doesn’t matter where you go as long as you do well. </p>

12

<p>Oops, take out “almost seems”, LOL </p>

13

I watched Fight Club right after I submit my application to colleges. And while I will not say the movie changes my life (I do not even agree with some scenario in it), it certainly assures me that life is more than just which college one goes to.
Thank you for your input.