I literally just won three awards today/tonight… two scholarships for [redacted] and [redacted]… and one award called the National [redacted] Award which is the highest honor for [redacted]… I honestly don’t care much about awards at all because to me, in the real world, I’m just a stupid small fish with a lot more to learn… but I was so excited to finally be able to update Stanford with my accomplishments for my waitlist… so FREAKING EXCITED… and then FIVE MINUTES AFTER I WIN THE AWARD and sit down… I get the notification on my email that I WAS DROPPED FROM THE WAITLIST… IF I COULD JUST HAVE ONE MORE DAY I COULD HAVE UPDATED THEM… AND MAYBE HAD A TINIER CHANCE AT ACCEPTANCE!!!
Stanford was and still is the only school I really see myself enjoying. It has everything - from strong and CHALLENGING academics in the sciences and arts, to an AMAZING work-life balance, to a phenomenal support system, to WARM WEATHER, to literally a community of SUPER QUIRKY PEOPLE that are crazy interesting and all INSANELY PASSIONATE about what they do… I’ve visited colleges across the east coast and mid west… and I’m sorry but NO WHERE HAS THE SAME LEVEL OF PASSION AS STANFORD!!!
I tried my best to be happy for the rest of the ceremony but to be honest, I am EXTREMELY disappointed in myself… And I mean EXTREMELY. Admissions officers at Stanford voted on my application (TWICE because I’m legacy) and majority literally voted AGAINST accepting me, yet accepted many others. That is COMPLETE evidence that there is something WRONG with me… something that others have that I don’t… and will probably NEVER HAVE!!! I have no words to express my disappointment in myself. :,( I’ll NEVER GET OVER THIS!!! :,( I’m so EXTREMELY depressed…
You have one thing going for you…you are very passionate. And I’m not being sarcastic…having strong feelings is a good trait in this world where everyone is like whatever.
First of all, you’re crushed. There’s nothing wrong with feeling that way for a couple of days…one thing I will say (and this is not to minimize your feelings) but you did everything you could and, really, it was out of your hands…they may have sent you that note because they are literally telling everyone the same message.
And others will jump in with more perspective than me.
Your post conveys a huge over-reaction and a bit of mania. I don’t think that explaining how college admissions works—that it’s not a linear ranking of the worth of individuals—would even be helpful to you. Have you spoken to your parents about your feelings? And about the mindset that produced your user name? Which college have you committed to?
I’m sorry to say but it is time to grow up. You didn’t get into Stanford – the same can be said for over 95% of the applicants many of whom were incredibly worthy candidates. From other posts it looks that you have AMAZING options in Columbia and CMU (not sure which you chose) for CS and music.
It is fine to sulk for a day or two (which I assume you did) but IMO it is high time to put Stanford in the rear view mirror and look ahead. You should assume you will not get in off of the waitlist. Get excited about the wonderful school that accepted you. When you get to campus make the most of your amazing opportunities you will have there. Show you are worthy of that college’s acceptance.
You should also take a second and appreciate just how many people would give almost anything to be able to get a 4 year college education at one of the top universities in the US.
From your name alone this is who you are but I am not buying it. You are too smart to know that your chance at Stanford is like my chance of getting in and I am 58… ?.
It’s also not about you. It’s about who they think they need for their campus. You are going to find out that the best thing that happened to you is that you didn’t get accepted into Stanford. Now you get to prove to yourself that you got what it takes to exceed anywhere. Stanford would of been too easy and comfortable for you. Now you get to i prove them wrong.
It’s like saying if I don’t get a Google internship I can’t work anywhere else.
You will do great things at the university that you will be going to in the fall. After you start your semester and get involved in the campus Stanford will be a distant memory. Trust me this happens yearly on CC.
Oh boo hoo. You didn’t get into a college that accepts maybe 3 or 4 out of 100 applicants that aren’t recruited for sports.
You think you are a Stanford-caliber student and yet you seem completely unable to put things into perspective. Maybe the adcoms weren’t so wrong after all. You aren’t a woman being told to go work at the local factory because there is no money for more schooling. You aren’t being married off in an arranged marriage because your parents are thru supporting you. You aren’t wracked with pain from a chronic illness, you aren’t wondering if you’re going to live to see your next birthday (if you want sad stories then go volunteer at your local hospital this summer and see how bad you have it compared to some others). There are so many other kids your age that have it so much worse and yet they bear it without complaint and self-pity, something you can’t manage to do given your circumstances though you apparently have plenty of other great colleges to choose from (including Columbia).
Nope, if you don’t get exactly what you want when you want it then the world is just a miserable and unfair place, and you’re going to let everyone know it. Life owes you, I suppose. I wonder what you’re going to do when you face some realadversity.
Everyone is sad when they don’t get into their top choice but you’ve taken it to another level and degree. I do hope you seek some counseling to deal with this situation and to prepare to deal with real disappointment.
Go read the book Bad Blood and think about how the culture and some profs at Stanford contributed to that debacle. There are good things about Stanford, but bad things as well. It might help you get over your unrequited crush to think about it that way. No school is perfect. And your success in life will have far more to do with how you conduct yourself than with what college you attend.
I know a lot of girls who were very unhappy at Stanford, boys too. Its hard to go to a school like Stanford, especially for legacy kids. Many professors at Stanford will say ridiculous things to female athletes, saying they don’t belong there. I think spending four years at Stanford is a way to feel even worse about yourself than you already seem to.
There is no such thing as “work life balance” at a university. Its all play. So any thoughts like that are artificial
and in your own head, because maybe you have not had to work so far.
It might be good for you to move away from your parents, and find a job in a major city, far far away from home.
Work and do some thinking about who you are.
Colleges are not you. Getting into colleges fades in a year or two after graduation. Stanford was not the place for you, so figure out where you belong.
Awards also fade quickly. Throw them in a drawer and make a life plan.
College admissions are not some objective contest where the “BEST” applicants win the prize. College admissions are a subjective process done by human beings and they are doing their best to assemble a class which will meet a variety of institutional priorities.
There is definitely NOT “something wrong with you” or “something that others have that you don’t.”
My sister went to Stanford because she excels at a particular sport. She is not in some objective sense “better.” I would not be at all surprised if there are many ways in which your accomplishments and abilities exceed hers. She was what the university wanted the year she was admitted. That’s all.
Stanford is a tremendous school, but it is hardly the first place that trips off my tongue when I think of a college with “super quirky” individuals. It wouldn’t be in my top 10. Passionate? Yes, I think you will find some very passionate people at Stanford…but I’m not convinced there are more there than at other institutions. You will find some passionate soulmates at pretty much every good college…FOR REAL!
I do really enjoy and appreciate Stanford, but if you want me to list things that are less than great about it to make you feel better, I could do that. I was pretty underwhelmed with my sister’s freshman dorm, for example. I think rather than riding down a great university, though, you would be better off EMBRACING all the amazing opportunities you will have at the college where you are currently deposited.
I’m the parent of a current junior, and if she gets in to any one of her top eight choices–including one which is a safety–there are going to be things that she will LOVE. Hopefully there are things you love about all the places you are considering.
Remember, you can always do a graduate program at Stanford!
Find peace with the process and move on to the next chapter. Good luck with your college career!
Life is about choices. You can choose to be unhappy, or not. You just won 3 awards and you’re choosing to be unhappy about it. Why? It’s insulting to the runners up to say the awards don’t mean much to you. If that’s truly the case you can always refuse them. It was a choice to check your email at an awards ceremony. Your attention really should have been on whoever was being honored after you, not on your phone.
Instead of being happy that your application got a second look through no accomplishment of yours – an opportunity that most kids don’t have through no fault of their own – you’re unhappy that the 2nd look didn’t result in an acceptance. I understand being disappointed. But your post is a little much. If you truly feel that way please go talk to your guidance counselor and your parents.
Didn’t you just get off the list at Columbia? And aren’t you already accepted at CMU for CS? The story of the boy who cried wolf seems to be in my mind at the moment.
It’s hard to feel sorry for someone who fails to recognize the incredible opportunities she already has. I suggest rather than worrying about how you aren’t good enough for CMU, you think about how lucky you are to have won a bunch of awards and have two amazing college choices.
You got into Columbia based solely on your abilities and were rejected in spite of legacy status at Stanford. I would say the admissions Gods have done you a favor. You will forever be able to be proud of your accomplishments without feeling a bit of wonderment as to whether or not you earned it. You earned it.
By dwelling on Stanfords rejection you are validating their decision as it suggests a lack of maturity to cope with the rigors of real life. May your greatest challenge in life be the disappointment of having to attend Columbia. You will survive and thrive if you have the maturity to allow yourself to.
A really good friend of mine kid didn’t get into Princeton. Even after being a national debate champion multiple times, all highest grades but “only” a 35 Act… Lol… Think Princeton actually invited him to campus for something…
He was accepted to Northwestern, Michigan and University of Chicago. He is a senior now and loved his time at UChicago from like day one. Definitely the place for him, no question. Did I feel bad for him… Well no since he had other great choices to go to. Princeton was a distant memory like after the first week of college.
It is natural to grieve for a bit once a door closes, but another one has opened. Now that your path is clear, embrace the choices you have. If it makes you feel better go onto the Columbia and CMU pages and read all of the posts from the disappointed students that feel about those schools the way you feel about Stanford. Many would love to change places with you. You can always apply to Stanford for grad school.
Oh @deadgirl…you have posted 8 different threads in less than a month about your indecision - UMD, CMU, Columbia, Standford…
You are clearly a very good student. Now it is time to be a “wise” one. You will be going to college, which is a lot more than many kids can say. Be grateful.
I do fear that you will not be happy anywhere you go because you will always think about the “other” school.
I am sure you are a lovely person, but in these many, many posts, you come off as immature, incapable of making an informed decision, and desperate. (Perhaps these schools are getting this same vibe?)
You have great options. Options many, many kids would love to have. Go with the school that is the best fit for you and thrive! (And never give the other ones a second thought.)
Hi @deadgirl I get it that you are coming here to vent. And, also, congratulations on these latest accomplishments. I hope that you are beginning to realize what a “catch” you are for any university, anywhere. Once again, I think CMU is the place for you. You know who Stanford hires? people from CMU. Columbia also a fantastic school, but something about your posts here tells me that you might do better in a city that is still fun, but with fewer distractions than NYC. Best wishes to you.
You have had an extremely successful admissions cycle, with a full ride offer to your state flagship, an Ivy League offer, and an offer from a top-3 computer science program. So, you were rejected by a school that rejects practically everyone… you’re in good company. It’s fine to say that Stanford was your top/dream school and that you’re disappointed. Fair enough; I can see why you felt that it would be a great fit. But for heaven’s sake - to say that it’s the ONLY school where you could have been happy and that having to choose one of your other excellent and enviable options is grounds for a major depressive episode - this is distorted thinking and fundamentally worrisome. How will you react to setbacks and disappointments once you’re in college? They will happen, and they would have happened at Stanford too. College has tough moments no matter where you go.
I urge you to use this disappointment as an opportunity for self-examination and the development of new coping strategies, because this degree of catastrophizing is straight-up unhealthy and will be harmful to your future. Get some support from a counselor who can help you learn to frame things in a more healthy and constructive way that will enable you to move forward with energy and optimism for what lies ahead. If getting through this small setback can help you to acquire some new tools for managing your emotions and expectations, it could quite honestly do you more good in the long run than a Stanford acceptance.
In all fairness, it was OP’s first choice and as a minority and double Legacy, she had better odds than most so her disappointment is understandable. She’ll move on, it’s a stressful time for all high school seniors.
I agree with this. I also think that presenting OP with evidence of her good fortune may not be sufficient to calm her mind. Please go talk to someone.
Most of the adults and virtually all of the students on this site can probably recall having been rejected by their dream school. I was so miserable when I was rejected by my dream Ivy, and then was very happy at a different Ivy, which turned out by coincidence to have the best program in the country for what I wound up studying. It will be okay. It will work out. You will go to CMU or Columbia, and will likely be very, very happy there, and very successful there.
And I’m not being sarcastic…having strong feelings is a good trait in this world where everyone is like whatever.