These 4 Ivies are all quite different, so it seems she has been attached to the idea that acceptance at an Ivy, any Ivy, is some measure of personal worth. It isn’t, obviously. This may be more about prestige, coming from her peers and school culture.
I am not sure what you can do other than wait for her to get over it. Perhaps you can explain holistic admissions and that admission to top schools isn’t about who is the smartest or more talented, but instead is about assembling a good mix for the class.
Does she think she is upset about not getting in, or not being able to go? There is a difference.
There is no difference in quality between the schools that accepted her and schools that waitlisted her. It is too bad she is not happy. The fixation on Ivies is unfortunate but common. Hope she feels better.
There is no magic formula to getting off the waitlist. Some schools even use 2 versions of the waitlist (courtesy vs real waitlist). Duke does this.
One thing your counselor can do is to call their regional rep and see if she is on a ‘real waitlist’. Well connected counselors can sometimes convert a WL into Z-list, or push your student into contention. This doesn’t happen often, and will require some good relationships with the admissions office.
Waitlist is used to fill holes in the class, so they won’t really look at it until after the commitment date has passed (usually May 1). After this date they use the waitlist for: institutional priorities, balance genders, minorities, legacy, etc. Since there is no way for you to know what the holes may be, there is often no formal ‘ranking’ of the waitlist.
Just send in a LOCI and patiently wait. Do not pester the admissions office, and if your HS counselor is willing, they can sometimes get more info.
Cornell sometimes offers a “guaranteed” transfer option. Well its not technically guaranteed anymore, but they used it call it that. Your HS counselor can sometimes find out if this is an option. But the transfer option is usually included in the admissions decision.
OP, it’s time to evaluate the choices she has – and they are all outstanding options:
Cal
Rice
Washington U
She knows what is important to her, but here are some things to help you begin evaluating them:
Cost
Academics → Majors, courses offered, class sizes, research opportunities (if applicable), etc.
Weather & Setting → Bay Area vs. St. Louis vs. Houston. They each have their charms.
Size of campus → Quite large (Cal) vs. not so large (Wash U, Rice)
Housing/food
Sports/social atmosphere
I think she should toss any perceptions of prestige out the window – I think these three are equally prestigious among Americans who know about colleges. Obviously Cal is the outlier here as it has a massive international reputation too, but that is mainly due to its research output and academic accolades that follow. At the undergrad level, the teaching (IMO) is what counts most.
I have Rice and Wash U listed in the same tight peer group among private universities. That means I think that they are equal in overall quality and value. It’s just up to her to figure out what she wants her experience to comprise – that will lead her to the school that makes the most sense. As long as she does that, and it’s affordable, you can’t go wrong.
There is a large overlap in students that apply to Rice and Yale. Her scholarship at Rice is fantastic. If she plans to go on to graduate/medical/law school saving the money for later would be a good thing. The schools share the same residential college format. Many attend Rice that really liked Yale and applied there. My daughter applied restrictive EA to Yale and was deferred and later denied. She was admitted RD to Rice, her second choice. She attended admitted student day at Rice and knew immediately it was the right place for her. She loved her time at Rice and graduated last year. Try to attend admitted student days at her current top choices among the schools that have admitted her. She must commit to a school that wants her. If she gets off the waitlist at an Ivy, then you/she will have a hard choice to make.
Kids should attend where they are wanted, not waitlisted, but that’s just my opinion. Sadly, there is no magic formula for getting off the list. However, going back to my previous statement, I believe it makes a huge difference in your child’s self-esteem at the university when they feel they got in on the first try. Just my two cents. You don’t have to take me seriously.
By the way, my son did not get into any top 20 school where he applied. My son has top, top stats like many of your children. However, he did get a full ride scholarship to a private university. They have treated him like royalty, and the scholarship comes with many perks for all four years aside from the money. He has decided to go there, and he does not feel bad about yesterday’s rejections at all. His excitement reminds me of a proud peacock!
The Rice scholarship is a phenomenal opportunity and a feather in her cap that she can highlight on her resume forever. A Rice education is top-notch, both academically and in terms of quality of life. I’m not honestly sure why you’d stay on these waitlists, and keep yourselves in emotional limbo in hopes of the opportunity to pay six figures more for a different T20 whose sports teams play in the Ivy League. I absolutely understand that any rejection hurts, and requires time to grieve and process. But fundamentally, the Ivies may have done her a favor. Love the school that loves you.
All of this makes sense and this is very useful perspective. She also likes Rice very much! All 3 schools are great fit for her and it is obvious since they loved her back
She is committing to Rice tonight It was hard to let go of Berkley and that is what took her time to process. Thanks for checking! Thanks for all your valuable suggestions. Glad that decision will be behind us and she can enjoy her prom on friday!
Thankyou, she has strong passion for activistm so she felt Berkley was kind of soul! But I am relieved that she could finally make her mind up! She is still waitlisted but we know that chances are slim and she really like Rice and can she herself there!
