<p>Would appreciate any comments from those that may be or have been in similar situations. My child was waitlisted at UPenn, Harvard, Cornell and Duke. She seems to have her heart set on Duke (Harvard would be second). She was rejected from Princeton. She was admitted to Boston College, William and Mary as a Monroe Scholar, as well as University of Virginia (plus got into SUNY Geneseo with free room for 4 years, and she got into Fordham and Northeastern and was given a nice scholarship at both). Of course, all she sees is that she did not get into the ivy leagues she hoped for and is somehow not good enough. She wants to stay on the wait list for Harvard and Duke and plans to get off at UPenn and Cornell. She is not very excited about any school she has gotten into, but is leaning towards sending a deposit to William and Mary or Boston College. Does anyone have any advice? In some ways, being waitlisted is worse than being rejected because you do not give up hope even though the chances are small you will get into your dream school. She does plan to reach out to Duke and Harvard to indicate that she is still very interested in case there is a chance. I wish she could be happy with all she has received as opposed to only seeing how the cup is not full of ivies.</p>
<p>W&M has more in common with Duke–full of traditions with roots in both colonial tradition as well as southern ones. It is also more academically challenging than BC. And as a Monroe Scholar she will have nice perks. Housing is more available all 4 years at W&M if on-campus housing is important to her. BC has much more school spirit as far as sports is concerned. They are both beautiful places to be. Eventually she will see her cup half full rather than half empty. Waitlist limbo is very hard. </p>
<p>Let it sink in a bit before making decisions. But yeah, stay on a wait list but don’t think about it, unlikely.</p>
<p>Look at the Common Data sets for the schools at which she was waitlisted; it will tell you how many kids were waitlisted, and how many got off last year–often, the number is zero, out of a waitlist of thousands. I think waitlist is shockingly overused, and it just leads kids to think there is still hope. My nephew was also waitlisted at Harvard, Yale and Princeton, and a couple of other schools, I think; he ended up at Cornell, and seems happy there. William and Mary is a beautiful school, and UVA has great spirit and an excellent reputation (I got my doctorate there; great teachers!)–quite similar to Duke, in atmosphere. I understand her disappointment, and yours for her, but don’t let her dwell on the waitlist scenario. It just makes it harder to celebrate the great choices she has.</p>
<p>Despite her initial disappointment she has some wonderful choices. Her top two choices are both wonderful schools. If you can re-visit them during accepted students day that might help her decide. Otherwise consider the differences between the schools and decide which suits her better. Ex. Outside of Boston v VA, Public v Jesuit, are sports important?, is Greek life important? What benefits does the honor program at W&M provide and are they important etc.</p>
<p>Thanks for your comments…they were very much appreciated. I do have an update…she was accepted at Tufts and rejected from Stanford (no surprise there!) I kind of hate to admit that we will continue to play the high stakes ivy league admission game. I think it is important to convey the message to your kid that if you really want something, you need to throw everything you have at it then sit back and know you tried no matter what the outcome. In the meantime, we will get working on trying to get her to develop a true love for one of the other schools she did get into (some are wonderful). Statistics point to the fact that this will be the actual college she goes to. As an aside, I wish the colleges would only wait list if there was a 50% chance of you actually getting in- admission counselors do not want to say no because your kid is one smart cookie, but they will probably not say yes either. There are just WAY too many qualified applicants so lots of kids won’t get in. Definitely hard to move on with so much up in the air but life is that way. Good luck to all you in the same boat!</p>
<p>Don’t consider anything up in the air. If you are it would just be better to decline the waitlist and move on. If you stay on waitlist, put it on back burner–don’t even talk about it. There are no high stakes here, you know it is not happening. She has her acceptances. There’s a lot to consider with so many possibilities that are actually on the table. It’s a great turnout for her.</p>
<p>I would pick W&M Monroe scholars - excellent school, Monroe scholars even better plus great perks.
Fordham if you don’t live in the city and she wants that environment, otherwise Tufts> Fordham.
Between W&M, Tufts, and Fordham, which would cost the least?</p>
<p>Then she can stay on the wait list wherever she wants, but odds are infinitesimal she’d get off the waitlist at either of her top two. The idea of “reach schools” is that the odds are much higher you’ll get rejected than admitted; at wild card/crap shoot universities, it means all these qualified kids have a 1 in 20 probability of getting in (this year, 1 in 35 in the RD round) to get in. </p>
<p>An embarrassment of riches to choose from (especially now with Tufts)… Your D, unfortunately, does not see that now and chooses to pursue WL. </p>
<p>Why does she seem to believe she’s not “good enough” because she did not get into Ivies/ Duke? “Good enough” for what? And vis-à-vis whom? </p>
<p>This, to me, is the real “outcome” of these decisions: this sort of “I’ve failed” observation an applicant makes about his/ herself that’s separate from the real meat-and-potatoes considerations of academic, social and financial fit. </p>
<p>Your D needs to be assured that she will be as challenged and engaged at Tufts, W&M, et al., as she would be at those unreachables, and that worry over name-brand value won’t move her forward, only hold her back.</p>
<p>That being said, good luck to her! </p>