Might I remind members of the forum rules: “Our forum is expected to be a friendly and welcoming place, and one in which members can post without their motives, intelligence, or other personal characteristics being questioned by others."
Snarky posts are subject to deletion without comment.
“If you were really convinced it’s all about sending him to kindergarten too early, it’s nothing but the necessary grade correction. If he hasn’t managed to settle down in college by now to manage to graduate, surely you wouldn’t want him in a job or in grad school now?”
Him suddenly being the oldest in his cohort doesn’t magically change the last 17 years. When he graduates next year, he’ll only have known his fellow graduates for about 2 years, whereas the rest of them will have known each other for 4 years. And since he doesn’t know anyone who graduated from his high school in 2020, he’s not going to be able to celebrate his college graduation with any of them either.
However, if we had sent him to Kindergarten a year later, his friends would’ve been the kids in the class of 2020. Then in college, he would’ve been with the same kids he’s graduating with now from the start, and would’ve had 4 years of memories to share with them, instead of just 2.
And as for whether or not I want him in a job or grad school now, that transition has to happen sooner of later, and it would’ve been much more bearable for him to make such a transition alongside his friends. Had we redshirted him, he still would have another year of college to go, but so would his closest friends.
You really don’t know what would have happened if you chose another path. His experience will be what he makes of it.
Don’t “what if” yourself. The past is done. Move forward!
I know you’ve brushed off comments earlier in the thread, but I sincerely suggest you talk to someone about your disappointment/regret regarding this situation. This isn’t the venue to truly help you, but you’re truly seeing this in an extremely myopic way. I’ll be blunt, I think it’s beyond bizarre that your son doesn’t have any friends from any other classes. My kids have met people through their extracurricular activities and some of their very closest friends are not their same year. And truly - his friends will be more than happy to help him celebrate next year. Half of my daughter’s closest friends gapped during COVID, so they will not be graduating with her. I am 1000000% sure her friend group will raise the roof each and every time someone graduates.
Your son is doing FINE! You’re in a vortex of woulda shoulda coulda - just stop! You’re making yourself and I have no doubt your son miserable about something that is truly a non-issue!
I went back and read your initial post. I think you are trying to find reasons why your son didn’t do well in college but it isn’t because he started K at age 4. My daughter also did (Dec birthday). She did not take calc in hs because her 8th grade algebra course wasn’t strong (she got an A) so she (yes SHE) chose to retake it as a freshman. Best decision ever! She loved her teacher (took honors algebra) and she feels the foundation was really good to have. Off she went to college to take Calc I where more than half her class was repeating calc I as they’d already had it in hs. Daughter got an A while many others didn’t. She also took Chem I and Physics I in college - and she’s an engineer! Graduated Summa and did it in 4 years without any extra semesters, with having to keep up with kids who are older than her. Her boyfriend was two years ahead in school but is 3 years older than her. One good friend was the same year as her but another was also 2 years ahead. If anyone invited her to a party for graduation, she went. It was hard work for her, but she did it. She’s now killing it at her job too, often getting praise her teammates who are 2 and 3 years ‘ahead’ of her (based on grad year) are not getting. Why? Because she puts in the extra time just like she did in college.
Other daughter, who was in the ‘right’ class, never took calc at all. She didn’t even take pre-calc in hs and took about that level in college (like pulling teeth, hated it). Her boyfriend is a year older. She also had lots of friends older and younger, both in hs and in college.
Your son can be miserable or he can make new friends, attend parties he’s invited to, enjoy his 5th year of college. Many of us would love to have another year of college just for the pleasure of learning again. If FB bothers him, get off FB. If his friends don’t want to hang out with him because he didn’t graduate, he needs new friends. Only he can change his attitude.
I do agree with you that being 4 going into K is too early and most school districts now require 5 But you can’t change that.
I think we’ve exhausted the conversation. Nothing new has been added and users are repeating themselves. Closing.